This prayer I have been praying on and off for many years. I am not sure where I first read it, or heard it... but it has become a regular, genuine prayer many a days.
There are days when the task list seems overwhelming. The needs are great. And, a tornado has obviously descended on my house... laundry piles, dirty dishes stacked high, schooling to correct or to plan, phone calls to make, emails to write, ...the list is endless. Where do I even start?
Lord, please order my day.
This is where I started. I decided to start by asking for His heart for my day.
Let me be clear, this doesn't come naturally to me. It really doesn't. Prayer is not my default; nor, is it where I go simply because I am a Christian. No, actually, more naturally I worry. Or, I make a list. Or, I plan and work hard. I work... And worry and get frustrated. And, maybe even a bit angry, annoyed that I had to do all this! That is more "Stephanie" in-the-raw.
But, He is gentle and continues to teach. To teach and to invite... He invites me to so much more.
A friend of mine told me of a concept she learned in counseling once. She said that patterns in life are learned over time. We go to them in a familiar fashion. Like reaching to the top drawer to find that every-day pair of socks, we reach for these patterns--- these reactions. She was taught that in order to re-learn a new pattern (or unlearn an old, not-wanted pattern), you have to choose not to go to the top drawer. But, to find "another" drawer (in your mind, your heart, your soul). ...we have some choices in which "drawer" we will reach for...
My "I am overwhelmed" drawer is the top drawer for me. In this top drawer are all sorts of "socks" like list-making and planning, worrying and frustration. But, I have a choice, I can open another drawer first. I can go to the "trust God and rest in Him" drawer. Socks are necessary, yes. Planning is certainly not a sin! But, where do I reach first... that is the question.
Every day I can choose. I have another option. ...another drawer.
Lord, please, You order my day. What first? You and Me... Your strength, Your plan, not mine.
This is the drawer I chose to open. The "I can trust my loving Father" drawer is an option! In this drawer I find strength, peace and a firm foundation. I also find surprises! Things I didn't schedule or plan, or ask for... they show up in my day. Gifts from Him come flowing into my life. Gifts that might have the "look" of distraction or sabotage when I haven't asked; when I haven't turned my heart toward Him. He brings these things to me when I ask Him to order my day.
What if I choose to pray all day, every day! What if praying and abiding in Christ was my full-time job, my "task"... my primary work. And, I did dishes while praying. Not the other way around. I didn't pray while I did dishes. I did the dishes while I prayed. And, I did laundry while I prayed. And, I answered the phone while I prayed. Prayer and abiding.... first.
Tornado house, laundry piles, school work to correct, emails to write--- I got a ton done! I really did. Can I write that and not sound self-promoting or "health-wealth" gospel-ish, or exaggeratory?? I got a ton done!! ...I actually had time left over and very little stress today. Time for a stop by friend who needed an hour of prayer together. I had space for even this! It was miraculous. It was Him---from beginning to end.
I have so much to learn about abiding. Teach me, Jesus! And, please order my day.