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I have been there many times before! Have you?
Sometimes when he feels this, though, I begin to feel afraid. I worry. I can't fix it. I can't make him "feel" any different---or better.
"Is this spiritual attack, Mom?" He asked knowingly.
"Yes, my love!" Yes. All of life is spiritual, my sweet boy. And, in this spiritual life, sometimes we are attacked!
"We are born to war", I heard it said a few weeks ago.
Every moment of our every day is lived in the spiritual realm. We war against our own flesh, the world, and the enemy of our souls, Satan and his demons. Each of these is spiritual attack. ...attack against our spirit and the Spirit of God within! Yes, indeed, if you are discouraged and hopeless and confused and foggy...
Yes, this is part of the war you were born to, my sweet boy.
The Kingdom of Jesus is love, truth, peace*, joy and light. The enemies of Jesus prowl around looking to devour life, love and joy. They are seeking to kill hope and energy and peace. (John 10:10)
"You know how to fight, my son", I reminded him. He brimmed with tears...
How do you fight? What is your pathway back to joy and truth---back to the awareness of Christ's Presence? He knows. He just forgot this morning. That is why we need each other. Sometimes we just need a nudge and a reminder.
I gave my sweet boy a gentle nudge. "Go worship, sweet boy!"... "Get outside and lift your voice in praise". It was a suggestion, not a command. He complied. He put on his coat and gloves, donned his wellies and his hat and outside he went.
And, he worshiped God in word and in song.
I sat quietly in my chair, with a lingering fear and concern, and prayed for him. Choosing my own pathway to joy, I worshiped in prayer and through His Word. "In you O Lord, my son is taking refuge. Do not let Him be put to shame. In Your righteousness rescue my boy, O Lord. Deliver him. Be His rock again today. Please be his refuge." (Psalm 71:1-3)
Red cheeked and bright eyed he came back inside a few minutes later. He was literally leaping and bouncing with joy. He told me that literally as he stepped outside and was choosing to go... he began to feel the joy and peace filling. The darkness began to lift.
A battle won. Thank you, Jesus! my heart sang.
What is your worship pathway back to joy and peace? Is it musical song... Is it thankfulness? Or, quiet prayer or reading His word? Is it dancing or walking? What step forward do you need to take today...
We are born to war.
Help me Father to suit up and look to you to fight for me. Help me to walk forward in worship today! "As they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes for their enemies" (2 Chronicles 20)
*I am writing here about an internal peace that passes understanding---something beyond our circumstances and trouble. I am not suggesting a pain-free existence... instead a peace filled, joy-full living a midst pain and real troubles in this world.