Koodaigirl Pages

Wednesday, September 1, 2021

Forgiveness

We are indeed fragile beings, aren't we?  

We are hurt so very easily.  Our bodies break.  Our minds are being bent.  Our emotions shift like shadows.  

Oh! How very vulnerable are our minds, our bodies and our hearts!  As the news unfolds, the tides of anger rises, anxiety rules and chaos seems to be the reigning voice of our times, my heart feels like it is breaking here and there and everywhere.  

From where I sit, I believe, this is the time for forgiveness and the Prince of peace to reign!  

In the last two weeks, I have heard three distinct stories of forgiveness.  In each beautiful case, forgiveness has brought such freedom!  ...A lifting felt physically ...a straightening of a bent mind... and a calming of the shifting flood of emotions.  The antidote is forgiveness.  

We all need it.  I need to be forgiven.  Every. single. day.  
And, I need to forgive.  Every. single. day.  

I was once asked to sum up "Marriage Advice" in one word.  My word:  forgiveness.  I would sum up all relationship advice with this one word:  forgiveness.  

In short, forgiveness is His amazing love in me and His love working it's way through me to another person.  

So... today, here is my offering to you...  a spiritual exercise I wrote a while back.  I have used it myself often.  I know others that have benefitted.  ...in fact, this practice (not the sheet of paper, but the activity), is how I generally live my every day life.  

...forgiving the grocery store clerk who was rude.  
...forgiving the friend who forgot to invite me.
...forgiving the stranger who made that comment.  
...forgiving my husband for not doing what he said he would.
...forgiving the one who should have been 'there' for me and isn't.  
...forgiving ... forgiving...  the horrific offenses, the big, the bad, the ugly, and the small offenses.  

May this practice bless your fragile being as it is protected by the Prince of Peace and His amazing forgiveness.  (FEEL FREE TO COPY AND PASTE AND PRINT IT OUT).  Or, send me an email and I'll send it to you as a PDF, happily.  

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·        Spiritual Exercise:  “Forgive”

·        Set aside at least 40 minutes for uninterrupted.  Sit in a quiet with your Bible, a piece of paper, and a pen. 

·        Start your time with a quiet prayer of surrender to God’s leading.  Ask His Spirit to guide and lead you. 

  • ·        Open your Bible and read Matthew 18: 21-35.  Read it two times through slowly.
  • ·        Close your eyes and ask the Lord, “Please show me who I need to forgive.”  What comes to mind?  Simply write down the name(s) that come to mind.  If there are more than one name, write down each name and leave space around it.  Later, you will be writing something else around and near the name. 
  • ·        Sit for a significant amount of time and prayerfully consider if you can willingly forgive these names.  If you are struggling with the whole list (more than one person), then focus on one at a time.  Ask God for help: Lord Jesus, by Your Spirit, help me to forgive.  Lord, forgive through me.
  • ·        When you feel ready to forgive at least one person on your list, then take some time and write down--- next to the name--- WHAT they did to you---as simple and succinct as you can.  (i.e. they ‘said ____’, they ‘did ____’, they ‘didn’t do’ ____…)  Do this with each person you are ready to forgive. 
  • ·        Now take a prayerful minute, ask the Lord to help you know how this action made you feel.  Ask the Lord to show you WHY it hurt.  How did their action hurt you or why was it wrong.  Write it down.  (i.e.  “it made me feel unloved”, “I felt vulnerable”, “I was afraid”).  [it can be very helpful to use a feeling list to help, just google "feeling words list"]
  • ·        After you have written the name, what they have done and how it impacted your heart, then pick up your paper and hold it out in front of you.  Show it to the Lord.  As you are holding it out, say (out loud if possible), Lord, do you see this? Father, You see what they have done and how it has hurt me.   Hold it there and ask again.  Sit with this for a moment. 
  • ·        Can you give this to God and lay it down?  If you can, literally, lay it down… on the floor, or the table.  Physically let go of it.  Pray.  You may say something like:  Lord, I give this to you.  It is yours to deal with… I had it over to you, Lord.  I choose to forgive and offer grace.    If you can pray this out loud, it can be very helpful.  [If you can do this with someone you trust as a witness that can be helpful, too.  They can say:  “I witness your forgiveness”]
  • ·        After some time, pick up the paper and, somewhere on the sheet, write out “Forgive one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
  • ·        Tell God that you forgive each one and what you are forgiving them for.  i.e. Lord, I forgive ____ for saying _____, OR, I forgive _____ for making me feel insignificant. 
  • ·         On each name, write “FORGIVEN” in big writing across the name.  
  • ·        Take a few minutes and pray “blessing” for each of these you have forgiven.  i.e. “Father, bless her with peace.”  “Father, I ask she would know you.”  “Bless him with repentance.” 
  • ·        Now, choose what you will do with this paper---some feel the need to keep it as a reminder.  Some feel the need to throw it out, to rip it up, or to burn it.  What do you need to do? 
  • ·        As you close your time, ask the Lord to help you to know His love and forgiveness for you and to give you grace to walk in this release.  Tell Him you intend to hand it to him again and again, if it comes up  in your mind/heart. 
  • ·        To strangle out any remaining anger toward a person, whenever you think of them, speak a prayer of blessing for them.  Blessing is the way Jesus gave us to walk in freedom from hate/bitterness. In the beginning they may come to mind A LOT, you will be blessing them many times a day!  But, it will lessen over time--- and you will feel free.  
 

·        Name              What they did                  How it made me feel                       Blessings for them