"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Tuesday, May 25, 2021

Buzzin Brain


Does your brain ever buzz with busy thoughts and details?  

My brain has been on super-charge this week...  as my youngest made his decision to fly further afield and pursue his master's degree in a different country.  Exciting!  So exciting.  Yes, and a bit maddening... the details, O the details!   

He doesn't need our help, of course.  But, we want to contribute and provide companionship in this big move!  So... this mamma-heart considers everything from transportation to toilet paper,  his housing and our hotel, transportation and taxes,  beds and banking, and...  well, a host of other things that need to happen as we go.  

With buzzing comes worry.  Or, with me, it does.  There is very little calm when my brain is a buzzin'.  

This morning, coming to God and His word, I was touched so gently by a passage in Matthew.   In Matthew 14 Jesus miraculously feeds 5,000 men.  In Matthew 15, the disciples witness Him feed 4,000 men.  Then in Matthew 16: 5-12, the disciples think Jesus is upset with them because they forgot to bring bread with them on their journey.  Jesus says,  

"You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? Do you still not understand? Don’t you remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? Or the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? How is it you don’t understand that I was not talking to you about bread?"

In short, ...Jesus says...  How are we really still talking about bread!?   He reminds them that they have just seen two massive miracles where 9,000 men (plus!) were given enough bread AND left-overs.  

...for Jesus bread is really, really not a problem! 

My heart was so stirred by this passage...  And, I sensed a loving rebuke.  A tender hearted... You-of-little-faith-moment.  Stephanie, are we really still talking and worrying about bread? Do you still not understand?  Just tell me what you need and let's move on.  This is not hard for Me!  

How often God tells His people "Do not forget!"... and O! how often we forget!  Right!?  

My life has been filled with an abundance of transportation and toilet paper miracles.  He has provided for me over and over again.  Houses, hotels, refrigerators and rental cars.  In fact, in one of my very first posts here on Koodaigirl...  Microwaves on a Thousand Hills I wrote about the abundance of sheets---bed sheets and cookie sheets and the microwave that just showed up at our door.  Oh!  How easily I forget.  I am only slightly embarrassed that this was 2009 and here I am, learning the same lessons.  

So, today, when the details come lashing against my peace-filled brain... I choose to remember.  In fact, you might just overhear me walking around the house saying, "I have seen Him feed 9,000 mouths!" to remind myself.  

We can choose to remember.  

I choose to remember today and "forget not all His benefits"  (Psalm 103).   These moments of remember may just keep this buzzin' brain at bay.