"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Friday, April 22, 2022

Walking Along Unaware


Walking along the road, they are talking about all that has happened in the last few days.  Jesus catches up to them---but, they don't recognized Him.  They are unaware.  Pain of all sorts can do that---make us unaware.  Habits can do that---making us unaware.  Busyness, screens, agendas... all this and more can make us very unaware.  

He catches up to them and asks what they are talking about...  (Luke 24:13-35)

As you go about your day, walking along in life, ...chatting with your friends, your kids, your spouse.  As you think thoughts in your head---re-hearse conversations you have had or will have or will never have....  As you respond to or write posts on social media...    

I hear Him gently asking...  Stephanie, what are you discussing?  

Think about yourself and your conversations, your internal dialogues today and yesterday. 

 ~~~

Can you stop for a minute to hear Jesus asking you to tell Him what you are talking about, thinking about, interacting with?  What are you discussing?  What are you 'talking about'?

Stop for a minute and tell Him.  Explain to Him what you are discussing...  what has been happening... 

~~~ 

I can imagine these disciples are feeling so so many different things.  What might they have been feeling in that moment?  ...Anger, sadness, despair, confusion, fear, bewilderment, overwhelmed, traumatized, disappointment...

They tell Jesus that "we had hoped"... 

I read these words, and I am stopped in my tracks.  

Stephanie, what had (have) you hoped...?  What were you hoping for... or are you hoping for...?  

As I sat with this question, I could feel the disappointment, frustration, despair in my chest as I allowed myself to process my dashed hopes.   Old... and new.  Feelings are not for judging, they are just for feeling. Emotions are God -given data points that allow us to know ourselves and, if allowed, they are avenues to be closer to the Lord.  

~~~

Can you stop for a minute and figure out what you are feeling?  What have you been feeling today, yesterday, this week?  Have you hoped for something?  Are you feeling any frustration?  Confusion?  Sadness?

Stop and tell Jesus what you are feeling.  Is there something you had hoped?  Explain to Him your heart, your emotions, your pain.  

~~~

Jesus responds to their explanation of their thoughts and emotions with a correction and a call to think rightly.  Just to be clear, He doesn't leave them there.  He stays with them... and just gently calls them to account for their thoughts and their 'remembering'.  In fact, He calls them to remember.  He responds to them with Truth...   He reminds them of what He has told them before.  And, He reminds them of what has been True forever.  

~~~

Can you apologized to the Lord for any unbelief and foolishness in your heart or mind that might accompany or come alongside the emotions you feel?  Are there untrue things your are thinking and believing?  

Can you ask Jesus to speak His True Words over you... your thoughts, your feelings...  ?  

Sit for a few long moments and ask the Spirit to speak Words of Truth.  What would You say to me, Lord?  Speak, Lord, I am listening.  Give this time and quiet.  

~~~

After Jesus speaks Truth to them...  they want more.  They want more of Him.  More of His presence.  They are desperate for more of Jesus.  The disciples invite Him to come, be with them, stay with them, eat with them.  And, He says yes!

~~~

Can you ask Jesus to join you as you go about your day.  As you walk along the road today, as you sit, as you rise, as you eat, play, read, discuss...  can you ask Jesus to stay with you?  

Take a few moments and ask for more of Him.  Ask for more of His Spirit.  Ask Him to teach you to pray and to abide in His presence, His love, and His Word.

~~~

"Were not our hearts burning within us as he talked with us on the road...  It is true!  He has risen!"  (Luke 24: 32-34) 

As you go about your day, keep your heart aware of it's response to Him... Keep on the look out! 

He is alive and with you always!  

Tuesday, February 22, 2022

Wondering About Inheriting the Earth


I am wondering.  Rambling a bit...  

I am pondering...  Meekness.  

I am thinking about a kingdom that is upside down.  A kingdom that is entirely different to the natural ways of my mind and heart...  

I have been thinking about the climb up that is the descending way.  ...the way of our Jesus, gentle and humble of heart.  

I am wondering about a staircase down... 

Thinking about "further up and further in" that takes us downward and lower.  ...to think of others as more highly than ourselves.  

I have been praying on the idea of meekness, humility, abiding love that works in and through... and outward.  

What might it mean or look like if we, God's beloved, lived in and out of His love?  What might it look like if we were aware of our soul-poverty... hungry and thirsty for His righteousness? ...living as peacemakers?  What if I didn't judge...  what if you didn't condemn? What if you gave freely...  I forgave always... What if we loved mercy, as our Father loves mercy.  (Luke 6:20-42)

I am well aware that this meekness, humility, and abiding love is exactly that... abiding.  ...meaning it doesn't come from me; but, in and through me, from Him.  His love.  He blesses in order for us to be a blessing.  He fills us with good fruit... makes us good-trees...  to feed on and be fed on.  Receiving His love, living in it, soaking it in...  and then giving freely as I have been given.  

I believe the measure by which I know His love to, for and in me... is the measure to which I can even begin to live it outward toward others.  Known.  Felt.  Divine.  Spirit-led. 

But sometimes there is resistance in me to surrender and receive this love.  Why do I resist?  Why would I rebel against love?  Joy?  Peace?  Patience?  Kindness?  ...what in us fights this?  

The resistance and even rebellion that is in sometimes in my heart to give-way to God and to others... to forgive-first...  to step towards... to offer warmth and love.   Is it fear that makes me push a bit harder, to stay silent longer, to hold that grudge, to be right, to not forgive, to get justice for myself, to hold to my rights.... ?  Is it pride?  Or simply folly?  

Forgive this ramble...  

I am just wondering.   

Humble Heart by Jess Ray  





Thursday, February 17, 2022

Fix it, Lord.

A wedding is a place to laugh, to mingle, and to relax.  ...unless something goes terribly wrong!  I remember being at my sister's wedding and walking into the reception hall, only 5 minutes before all the other guests, to find her wedding cake in three layered pieces in a pile on the ground.  What do you do in that moment!?  This is a serious problem to fix and we have five minutes.

This must have been what Mary was feeling at the wedding feast in Cana.  (John 2:1-12)  She saw a big problem and needed it fixed... right now!  

...so she did the very best thing she knew to do.  She asked her son.  She asked the son that she trusted. Even if he wasn't the Maker of the world, she may have asked him in any case.  But, she also knew who He was.  She had treasured in her heart the words spoken about him for 30 plus years.  She knew and had believed as He began to gather his disciples around Him.  

Mary did the best things she could think of... she asked Jesus to fix it.  

I love Mary's boldness here.  What beautiful faith she placed in Jesus!!  
...faith in His character as a son and as a person.  
...faith to know He would respond to her.  
...faith that He could and would handle it.  

She didn't come to Him with a solution.  She just told Him the problem.  Then, she watched, waited and told others to do what He said.  

The other day I saw a big problem.  It was a very practical problem that I had trouble seeing any answer for.  ...I didn't even know 'how' to pray.  I had no solution. I just knew it was a problem!  It was 2 in the morning, as I shifted in my bed, that the thought came...  Father, would you please fix this.  Here's the problem.  Please have Your way and fix it for me.    

...and He did.  In fact, in the next few days following, God fixed the situation in a way I would never have even imagined or asked.  He, essentially, turned water into wine for me.  

I doubt Mary imagined Jesus turning water to wine to fix her problem.  Who would have even guessed that would have been His answer!? She didn't know the solution.  She just came and trusted her son to solve the problem.  Fix it, Jesus.  

Lord, make me more like Mary was...  may I place my faith in You the solver.  May I have increased faith in Your character... God, You as my Father, Jesus---You as a brother, Spirit---You as my counselor....  May I know that You hear me. You will respond,.  Help me watch and wait as you fix the problems in Your way and Your time!  

Thursday, February 10, 2022

Okay, Lord

 


Okay, Lord.  Here we go!

There are just days that start off with difficulty after a long night of tossing and turning, aren’t there?  Sleep evades and rest is nowhere to be found.  Do you ever have these nights?  Last night was one of those nights.  I took the advice of a friend and didn’t look at the clock.  Instead, as I tossed, I prayed, Lord, is there anyone that you would have me pray for?  As, I turned, I prayed, Father, is there anything you want to tell me or show me?  I guess it is going to be one of those nights…  Okay, Lord.  Here we go! 

Faces came to mind.  Names flooded in.  I asked.  I prayed.  I held them before the Lord.  So… sleep wasn’t the gift He gave last night, but He did give His rest to my heart and I did talk to Him about a great many things.

It was nearly morning, after a short ‘night-nap’, when I woke with a piece of Scripture flooding into my mind…  Ah, I thought, something He must want to tell me!  I meditated on the Word and said, Thank you, Lord.   

When the alarm finally sounded, it was tug and a pull to yank myself out of bed.  Do you ever feel you just have to coerce yourself out of bed?   Okay, Lord!  Here we go! Please sustain me.  I could feel His whisper deep within--- His promise to be with me always.  Tired and chilled by the cold dark, I could feel in my body the roughness of the night’s toss and turn.  One step in front of the other, I slowly walked out the aches and stumbled tentatively downstairs. 

After a quick drink of water, as is my habit and daily routine, I sat in my living room chair and opened up the PrayAsYouGo app on my phone… the call to prayer, the Scripture being read, the music, the questions and the reflection are all a great way to open my heart and waken my mind to His Presence.  Lord, I’m tired.  Help me to hear what You are saying.  Open my eyes and make me awake to Your Presence today, I wrote in my journal. 

After the app finished, I picked up my Bible.  I found the red tassel showing where I left off yesterday and continued reading in Luke 6.  Jesus tells His disciples to give and to forgive… reminding them that His Father is a merciful Father.  We are told to be like Him …merciful.  With the reading of the Word, I am struck with such thanksgiving---energizing and heart-lifting worship--- Lord, thank you for loving us!  Thank you for Your mercy and the gift of Jesus!   I wrote in my journal, Lord, only in you will I live this giving, forgiving, merciful life.  Please fill me with the power of Your Spirit to be like You, my good and merciful Father!  As I continue to read, there was conviction in my heart. I read Christ’s words to ‘not condemn and not judge’.  Readily my sin of judgment---of myself and of others---came to mind.  Lord, forgive me. Make me more like You. Make me merciful.      

After my quiet moments with God, I got up to put my shoes on… heading out to the garage-gym to use an exercise video.  Okay, Lord, here we go!  Layered up against the cold, I could feel and see the steam of my breath, I turned on the video and started to ‘walk’ following along with the lady on the TV.  She was speaking of Jesus as we walked and she encourages us to pray… and I do. 

I feel a bit heart-heavy with the many needs of those I love.  As I walk, I pray.  As the Lord brings a face, or a problem to mind, I pray and ask God to fix, help, and be near.  Father, please help.  As I stretch after the work-out, one particular person weighs heavy this morning.  My heart is pained for them.  They don’t know Jesus and they are running hard into destructive life choices that will bring much pain and sorrow.  Oh Lord have mercy.  Spirit of the Living God reveal Jesus to them!  Lord, please open their eyes and rescue them from darkness.  May they be released from these prisons of sin that keep them from full life.  Oh Lord, please help, please fix this, please be near. 

As I finished up my exercise, I can feel energy and sustenance in my body, and I am grateful!  Thank you, Lord.   I can feel the hunger rise up.   As I go inside to prepare my breakfast, I pray for my kids.   Lord, please give them a hunger and a thirst for righteousness and Your truth.  Help them the choose You today. 

This day began with the night of tossing and turning… and in this, He led me and strengthened me to pray and remain aware of His Presence.  Thus far, we have had so much conversation….and, it’s only 9 am! 

This day is Yours, Lord!  Have Your way in and through me.  Teach me to pray.  What might the day bring?  Okay, Lord! Here we go!