I haven't written, or posted, much these past few days because... well, simply put, ... I don't have much to give. I don't have much to say. Or, maybe more accurately, I don't have words to explain what I might want to say...
I have nothing to give. Or, at least, not much of anything.
As we have had a houseful of guests, this has been an on-going thought recently. Reoccurring very often, actually.
I don't really have anything to give her, ... or him, ... or them.
As I have sat with friends, talked with mentors, spoken with disciples, or listened to family... I just keep thinking, I got nothin'
Now, please, let me add a big caveat here... this thought hasn't been a negative one. And, as far as I can tell, it isn't stemming from insecurity or false humility. It really has been quite sweet. In fact, it feels... well, it feels true. And, it feels okay. True and okay.
Like Peter in Acts 3, I find myself saying, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you." I find myself saying (or my heart whispering)...
"Wisdom and knowledge I do not have, but what I have I give you."
"Advice and counsel I do not have, but what I have I give you."
"Healing and miracles I do not have, but what I have I give you."
My heart's reply to the stories, the hurt, the shared emotions, the questions of life, the victories and triumphs, and the confusion that is lavished on me by friends... this heart's reply is simply... I have not.
...But what I do have, I give you.
I can smile at you. I can hug you. I can ask you questions and listen. I can cry with you and I can pray for you. I can cook you dinner and pour you coffee. I can laugh with you and get angry with you. And, I can write a blog post from time to time.
It isn't much... but what I have I give you.
Reading tonight on a favorite blog, I read a beautiful post reflecting on the parable told in Luke 11. In this story a man is visited by a friend in the dead of night. When the man realizes he has nothing to serve his guest he runs to his neighbor's house. The man knocks, pleads and says with passion to his neighbor, "I have nothing!"
And, the neighbor gives the man bread.
This blog post reflects on the truth that "I am the servant, not the source". And, this stirred my heart. This, this!, has been the sweet message to my heart these past months.
Yes, Stephanie! Yes, you have nothing in and of yourself. Nothing. But, in Me, you have ALL. In My Love, You have abundance, my daughter. So, my lovely, give from that abundance and keep giving liberally!
So, I write tonight with nothing much to say... but, what I do have, I give you.