"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

There we go again...

There I go again.

So naturally, so easily...  I run to planning, doing, solving, organizing.
When things get heavy or rushed.  When things feel a bit overwhelming, or manic, I naturally lean toward "doing" and controlling.

Make a list and check it twice.  Check the box, do the task, cross it off, add another task, do.

And in my doing, I sometimes forget.

This time I forgot.  Days on end, I forgot.  I fed myself on the almost-healthy food of "task completion", rather than eating a nutritious, filling meal on God's word.  I forgot to eat dinner.  Instead I snacked away my heart hunger on the "carrots" and "celery" of list making and planning.

Task completion and planning certainly aren't sinful in-and-of-themselves.   But, they don't satiate, they don't satisfy, they don't feed my soul in the same way that rest, trust and sitting with my Heavenly Father satisfies.

This morning, again, I ran to email first and then to the "to do" list.  ...my "safety blanket" when I am feeling overwrought.

...and, as I was writing, I "almost" heard a still small voice.  Almost, just barely, I heard a whisper into my soul. I heard an invitation..."Come.  Come and sit with me, Stephanie".  "Remain in today. Rest in me." 

I kept writing, re-writing this task list, checking it twice and adding new "must dos" to my list.  But, I knew.  Deep within, I knew.  Why I forgot so easily is beyond me...

So, I went.  Finally, I went.

I sat.  I opened His Word.  Like the first, amazing bite of a juicy bacon burger, His Word fed me instantly.

The Lord is my Light and my Salvation.  

My devotional, which had been neglected for days now, had me reading in Psalm 27.  Do you know what it says in Psalm 27:8...  "My heart says of you, 'Seek His face!' Your face, O Lord, will I seek".   Should I be surprised?

Should I be surprised that my loving, faithful, always-present Father would use His Word to echo the very Spirit's whisper I had barely heard 20 minutes before---Come and sit with me.  Seek My face!

There He goes again. He never gives up on me.  He keep pursuing.    He keeps giving.  He keeps feeding and offering Himself to me.

There He goes again.  ...Loving me.

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