"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Monday, August 10, 2009

My portion

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Generally in any every-day conversation, when I hear the word portion I think of food. How hungry are you? How big of a portion do you want... how much do I give my kiddos? My "portion" is what I get for dinner. We talk about it when discussing diets and healthy life styles. Your portion is how much you need to be satisfied and satiated. Anything beyond my portion at dinner (say, dessert or an evening snack...) is really beyond what I 'need'. It is an addition...

This morning I was reading from Psalm 142 and was struck with the phrase, "O Lord, You are my refuge and my portion". In this psalm it is clear that David is in need. He is upset, tired and pouring out his complaint before the Lord. He is needy. He is "hungry", you might say. And right in the middle of the Psalm, he speaks out, "You, O Lord are my portion".

I feel that way sometimes. I feel like I could easily make a list for the Lord of all the ways I need Him to come through. If this were better... If you just did this... If you would answer this one, Lord... And, there is much room in His word for asking. He wants us to ask. He wants us to pour out our complaints to Him and share our hearts. He wants our honesty and our requests.

But, I was struck by David's choice... midstream... to speak out, to speak to his own soul and mind, "You are my portion". I think he is saying, essentially, ...there are so many things I need, Lord; but, You are my enough. You alone will satisfy me. You are what will make me full and satiated. You will fill my hunger and you are really all I need. My portion. My enough. He chooses to speak truth into his own situation and his own heart.

...dessert would be great, Lord. ...a snack would be nice. But, YOU are my portion and truly all I need. You are my enough. You are all I need.