"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Rain and Sunshine

The sky, in this land I am living, is always moving and changing. Beautifully blue this morning, it is now raining. Raining hard. ... and I know that at any moment it could change.

As I watched the rain today I was reminded of a verse... where is that one? I can't remember where in the Word, but I know it says that God allows the sun and the rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous... or something like that. Rain and Sun. Both allowed. Both fall on those who worship Him and on those who do not.

I have had a hard time reconciling the rain and sunshine this week. The deep hardships of dear friends, the wars, the floods, and the sickness of the world are a confusing scene when the backdrop is my lovely children picking the apples on my garden's apple tree. How do the two live so intimately together? How can I be so sad, and the world be so ugly AND beautiful all at the same time?

I wash dishes and smile as I hear the playing of piano. My eight year old is creating and making the most beautiful music... and then moments later, only moments later, I am reminded of the sadness, the loss, the grief and I begin to cry. Tears and smiles. Rain and Sun. How are they to live together? Where is the harmony?

But, there is harmony, isn't there? I feel it. I sense it. And, I know it resides in a forever, ever Present, all-knowing, good and loving Father. My deep-within-gut seems to know something of peace that my heart is struggling with.

... finding myself annoyed at my emotional ups and downs, my fragile heart, my tenderness... and yet my gut feels that it is right. The ups and downs are reality. Life is both beautiful and ugly. ...together. Complex.

Is this how it is for Him to watch, to live among us, to walk with us? Is this what Father feels everyday, all day. Smiles and tears. Laughter and weeping. Sunshine and Rain.

I don't know. But it is what I am feeling today... watching the wild sky and wondering what will come next... the smile or the tears. Will the sunshine shine brilliantly or will the clouds let loose and pour out with force...
"He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous" (Matthew 5:45)
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