"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Painful squabbling

When I hear them squabble... which they (indeed!) do from time-to-time...it grieves my heart.  Brother and sister.  They pick at each other and poke and bite.  It is painful.

It is painful to listen to them fight, to argue, or to be unkind.

In their words and their actions, I see so clearly the pride and self-centered-ness that plagues our human race.  In their tones and in the tenor of their voices, I hear so clearly the yuck that mucks my own heart.  Ugliness.  Stink.

"Did you hear the way you just spoke to your sister?" I ask of my son.

Why is it so hard, Lord to be kind.  I struggle, too.

I read in His Word about loving genuinely and preferring others above myself.  I read that we are to put on love, grace and humility. I read "as much as depends on you, live at peace with all men." (Romans 12:18)

And, I read Jesus' invitation to come to Him to learn about humility and gentleness. (Matthew 11:29)

And, I realize, again---it is something we need to learn.  I need to learn.  Simply put, it doesn't come naturally.  Both of my sweet kids came out of the womb feeling that they were the center of the universe and not wanting to share or to prefer others.  They didn't want to share their toys, their space or their mother!  And, yet, they can learn.  They are learning.

And, so am I.  ...slowly.

"Did you hear the way you spoke to your husband, Stephanie?"  the Spirit of God whispers to my heart.

Why is it so hard, Lord to be kind and gentle?  

I wonder how He feels when He hears me squabble... even when it is only in my mind... with my brother or my sister?  Does it grieve Him or pain Him as it pains me to hear my children?

How good and pleasant it is when they dwell in unity!!  (Psalm 13:1)  When His children are living in unity, in love and in genuine affection for each other--- it smells good to our Father, "like precious oil running down Aaron's beard".

Teach us, Jesus to live in unity and to be humble.  Lead us into all truth, Spirit of God.  Father, guard us from the evil one and make us one, just as You are one with the Son.  We have so much to learn!  I have so much to learn!  

"Hope and faith will both come to an end when we die.  But love will remain.  Love is eternal.  Love comes from God and returns to God.  When we die, we will lose everything that life gave us except love.  The love with which we lived our lives is the life of God within us.  It is the divine, indestructible core of our being.  This  love not only will remain but will also bear fruit from generation to generation"  -Henri Nouwen, The Wounded Healer
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