"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Friday, May 4, 2012

Brick Like News

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There are pieces of news that come at you like a stinging slap and then settle down on your heart like a heavy brick.

I have just heard a piece of news that is sitting heavy on mine.

Even as my fingers type out the words, my eyes brim with tears.  Such a shadowed piece of hard news.  ...a hurting heart.  ...a wayward daughter.  ...a child of God who is walking in darkness, unaware of her heritage---her birthright.  

I hear about her choices and the state of her soul and all that is within me sinks and wants to weep.   ...longs to lament and intercede.

There is so much more that is offered to this loved one---this dear woman.  There is so much more that He longs to give her.  Freedom He longs to drape over her shoulders.

Moments after hearing about her, I found myself wandering around the kitchen as if I couldn't remember what I was supposed to be doing.  Stopping myself, I realized that I was simply wandering and looking to "do" something.  There was nothing I was forgetting.  I was just looking for something to do.  ...to make it stop.  ...to turn her heart.  ...to open her ears to the whispers of a her Savior's love.

But, what can I do?  What can I do to save a soul?

I can do nothing, Lord.  I can only release and plead.  I can only offer this one into Your kind heart and expect from You pursuing mercy, grace and Your peace poured out.  

Only You can lift this heaviness from my heart and hers.  Only You.  

And You are enough.  

My daughter found me in the kitchen with tears.  She wrapped her arms around me and asked me why I was crying...  Then, she quietly told me she had overheard the conversation.  She had heard the news, too.

Jesus will keep after her, mommy, she whispered into my ear.  Jesus won't let her go.    

But, she needs to choose to hear Him, my sweet girl.  She needs to listen.  She needs to be willing to hear, respond and look at his face.  My words filled with choking tears.

Then, we must pray!  

Yes, my girl, that is what we can do.  That is what I can do.  And, He is enough.

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