"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Quirks and all...

Don't we like people to be more than they really are--more than human? What is it in me that wants the Michael Cards, or the C.S.Lewises, to be more than human? As one who works in full-time ministry, I know that some people have this expectation from me. I have noticed "shocked" faces if I confess a sin, or if I share a struggle--- a harsh word with my kids, an argument with my husband, a doubt about God or His word. I know I will never live up to any super-human expectations. I am keenly aware of my own sin, my weakness, my strengths and my quirky personality-- all which make me very human. And yet... I still do this to others.

I have enjoyed reading blogs recently for this very reason. I am following a blog right now written by a Tricia Rhodes. I just finished an amazing book she wrote, Intimate Intercession. Truly this book tops my list of favorites. But, when I read her blogs, I am just struck with her humanness... not any different than mine! She shares honestly her thoughts, her struggles and her victories. Why does this strike me oddly? Why do I want her to be super-human? Do I want her to be super-human? On one level... yes. Yes, I do! I would like to think that she is way beyond me and that I too, with effort, will reach this perfection soon. Crazy, but true.

Do I want her to be super-human? No!, of course, I don't want her to be super human. It is encouraging to me that she is also on this long journey toward Christ-likeness, intimacy with Father. It is good to know that God has to "put-up" with others and their failures... not just mine! It is good to see the struggle toward holiness and the desire to pursue... the hope that keeps her walking forward toward Him that strengthens. It is good to know she, too, is just a jar of clay! It is so important to remember daily that ANY glory, including this fabulous book she wrote, is ALL God and His shining through.

We don't have "holy men" in our religion! We don't have a curtain that closes off the throne of God anymore. We don't need that "one" priest to enter the Holy Place--- He already came and died and opened the way. We don't need a mediator, a teacher or a leader other than our Lord Jesus Christ. We all have access, because of Christ's sacrifice and righteousness, to enter boldly before the throne of God.

I am reading right now C.S. Lewis', Letters to Malcom. What a refreshingly honest portrayal of this "mighty" man! In this book we have a real man simply writing real thoughts, including sarcasm, jokes, and frustrations. He is a real person writing to another real person. Why I want him to be more than real... ? But, I read, "Oh for mercies sake, give me a break!" in one of his letters and I am mildly shocked---with a chuckle under my breath. Did C.S.Lewis get frustrated like this? (Like me?) and Did he really utter things like "give me a break!" On one level, I love it and on another I am slightly annoyed. I want C.S. Lewis to be more than that! I want him to be... well, ...perfect, I guess.

So, I meet Michael Card last Fall... and he is.... well..., just a guy who plays guitar (extremely well), writes amazing lyrics, and clearly loves Jesus deeply. But, none-the-less, he is just a guy. Why do I want him to be more?

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. " (2 Cor. 4:7)