"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Schooling Decision...His decision.

If I felt that it was a moral imperative to home school my two children, that would be very helpful. I don't.

I have seen the blessings of home schooling, yes. I have watched the fellowship and closeness that my kids have with each other and with us... which, in part, I attribute to home schooling. I have seen both my kids learning and excelling. I love the discussion we have during school and learning along with them about history and science.

But, I don't feel it is my moral obligation. And, I don't believe that it is a must--- from God or from Scripture. So, it leaves a question to wrestle with. ...Black and white are much easier for me to deal with. I like black and white! "Just tell me what to do!" and I will do it.

But, in this, it seems the Father wants a discussion and a dialogue... not a command with obedience.

I do believe that the Father has called us to school them thus far and I love the benefits that homeschooling has brought to our home... but, what does He want in this next season? I don't know. I have been asking Him this question now for a few weeks. The time is rolling around for me to buy next year's curriculum... and so we begin to pray. Father, would you have us school them at home this next year?

There are really great schools right here where we live---which is really a first for us. So, why continue schooling them at home? The pressure around me is pretty significant and at times a bit intense. There are many voices and opinions about what would be right for my kids. The opinions come streaming in from wanted (and unwanted) sources. ...Questions about them not being properly "socialized" or "challenged" or them "missing of opportunities" or "lacking friendships". The public schools here will offer drama, sports and music... free of charge. So, why continue to school them at home?

But, even though I am strongly drawn to the opinions of others (I do like to be liked!), theirs are not the voices I want to listen to. I want His voice, His direction, and His wisdom.

So, I pick an open page in the back of my journal and write the word "schooling". Daily I turn there and ask Him about it again... and I wait and listen. What might He be saying to me about this? I have written a few things there on that "schooling" page. ...things I think He might be saying.

I talk with my husband. We pray. We wait. We ask.
I talk with my kids. We pray. We discuss. We wait. Lord, we are listening... What would you have us do?

I am finding this a struggle. I can't say I am worried, exactly, and I feel surprisingly peaceful in the struggle. But, still I wrestle and wait.

If only the answer were easy... a black and white imperative from Scripture would be nice!
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