"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Out of my hands... Into His

My son and I, we held hands today as we walked. His sweet, 9 year old hand in mine. We walked and talked, hands swaying at my side. I love holding his hand.

My husband and I, we held hands the other night while watching a movie. His secure, loving, man-hand holding mine. Just a small touch; but, such a tender touch. I love holding his hand.

I have been thinking about God's hands lately.

Sharing with Father God my worries and fears about the health and healing of my insides after surgery*, I sensed His Spirit showing me a simple picture... His hand.

There are so many things in my life that I try to control. In this journey of physical recovery, I have felt the Lord is nudging me to continue talking to Him about my desire to control.

I have joked that I am a recovering "control freak"; but, He whispers and reminds me this is no joking matter.

Somewhere deep within I work hard to keep my life, and those that I love, under control.

Has there been growth in my life in this area in the last few years? Yes! Absolutely. And, I guess that is why God's Spirit and I can have this dialog at all....

A dialog of complete surrender. A dialog about release. A conversation about trust, the deep and abiding kind of trust that I am learning about, but do not yet know.

The healing of my body is totally and completely "out of my hands". There is nothing, absolutely nothing, I can do to make me all better and healed. Certainly, by resting and being wise with my time and energy I can create an environment to aid in the healing process... the healing process that only GOD can do! There are things, yes, that I can do to open doors; but, in truth only God's hand can do the healing. It is out of my hands!

Isn't this really the truth about all aspects of my life? And, isn't control, my control, a fa├žade anyway.

The whispers of the Spirit have been nudges to remember Who is in control. He is reminding me that nothing is out of His control. Nothing is out of His hands! His hands...

The hands that "laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens" (Hebrews 1:10)

The hands that, "stretched out the heavens; and marshaled their starry hosts" (Isaiah 45:12)

The hands on which I have been "engraved and marked"...
"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me." (Isaiah 49:16)

These hands that measured the waters are the very same hands that knit me together in my mother's womb. Imagine that for one minute!

These hands that threw the stars into space are the same hands that will guide and hold me fast. (Psalm 139:9-10).

When I remember this Truth, I can trust and my heart is filled with faith. When I recall the Reality that this Great, Almighty God is in control... always in control ... then my fears are stilled and my anxieties relax. I release. I surrender. I trust.

I can ask Him to touch, with those God-hands, that dark unknown world inside my body. I can trust that not only does He see and know, but He touches.

He touches, He guides, He holds and heals with His hands...

"When the sun was setting, the people brought to Jesus all who had various kinds of sickness, and laying his hands on each one, he healed them." Luke 4:40

I love holding His hand.

*three weeks ago I had surgery in order to, Lord willing, bring much relief to my on going struggle with physical pain. (female in nature).
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