"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Worry, really? Again?

You would think I would get it, wouldn't you?

After all He has done in my life... all I have learned... you would think that I would have that "no worry!!" and "trust"lesson-thing tied up nicely in a neatly wrapped package with a blue bow on top.

But, alas, nope. Still learning...

This morning I was worried.

...does it really matter about what? Not really.

But, anyway, there I was worrying. Not excessively. Not obsessively, per-se. But, worried, none-the-less. Measuring in my mind. Calculating possible solutions. And, the worry was interrupting my morning quiet time.

And, then I had a remarkable thought. Smack dab in the middle of a worried, calculating, sorting, planning moment (I was figurin' it all out!, right?), I was suddenly reminded of lessons-of-late.

Like a light-tap-on-the-shoulder nudge from the Spirit, I suddenly remembered.

Hadn't Father been so sweetly, gently and patiently teaching me that He was in control? Hadn't Father been showing me that He would "sort-it" and "solve-it" and work it out for His good. ...in His time and in His way.

Yes. Yes, He had.

Not guilt inducing, just a "leading into Truth". Just a reminder.

And, in that moment, I knew. Once again, I had to simply trust Him and ask Him to take this one too. This issue, this problem, He could sort. He could make a way. He could solve. I could trust Him. Simple as that. I could tell Him the issue, how I felt about it, and ask Him to care for it. ...and He would.

...He will. In His time and in His way.

I had a moment of choice. There was a split second where I knew I could choose trust.

And, so I did. Victory!! Hallelujah, Victory!

I settled down in mind and spirit, handed this issue to my Father ... and moved on.

Can I just testify that in no less than 2 hours time, He sorted it?! I am not joking or exaggerating. In less than two hours I had a phone call that answered and solved my dilemma (with a solution, mind you, I could never have come up with on my own)

Now, I know He doesn't always "work that fast". If you have read any previous post regarding my life-long struggle with illness and pain you might know---boy!, do I know that He doesn't always "answer so fast". But, today, He did. And, it made me chuckle inside when He did. And, I think that made Him smile, too.

As if smiling at me, I felt He might say in a sweet-sarcastic tone, "Is that solution okay with you, Stephanie? How did I do?" And, I chuckled.

Next time, ...well, that is...tomorrow, I want to skip the worry part and just go with the trust and surrender part. May I learn this today and for-ever, Father!

Because you would think I would have gotten it by now, don't ya?!
"I do not find that this position, that of unbroken peacefulness [and trust], is one which we can hope to hold unassailed. It is no soft arrangement of pillows, no easy-chair. It is a fort in a enemy's country, and the foe is wise in assault and especially in surprise. And yet there can be nothing to fear, for it is not a place that we must keep, but a stronghold in which we are kept. If only, in the moment we are conscious of attack, we look to Jesus, our Leader and Perfecter. He who endured can protect and maintain that of which He is Author and Finisher and says, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you..."
~Amy Carmichael, Rose from Brier
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