"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

What do you want?

What do you want? He asks.

As Jesus walked on they followed. Then, He turned and asked them a simple question, "What do you want?"
"As Jesus walked by, John looked at him and declared, "Look! There is the Lamb of God!" When John's two disciples heard this, they followed Jesus. Jesus looked around and saw them following. "What do you want?" " (John 1:35)
A simple question.

We can ask an 18 month old baby, 'What do you want?' ...and they can point to the toy, the cookie, or their mommy.

A simple question, yes. But, tonight it strikes me as quite complex and confusing. ...maybe even convicting. Or, inviting.

What is my answer, Jesus?

What is it I want? What do I really want? And, why do I follow after you?

If I am honest, I want many things. The degree of desire, the intensity, varies from want-to-want. And, the 'wants' change depending on my mood, my need and circumstances. ...but what do I really want. ...what is my deepest desire, really?

I sit here and imagine Jesus turning to look at me. In my mind I see His piercing eyes asking me this very question: Stephanie, what do you want?

My heart finds truth and comfort in the simple answer given that dusty day by those first disciples:

Where are you staying? they answer Jesus.

And I say to Him tonight: Jesus, I just want to be where you are. I want to know Your Presence and sit at Your feet. I want to feed on You and hear Your voice. I want to go where You are and live with You, walking...following after You.

And, Jesus answers me. Just as He did that sweet day, this Lamb of God... "Come and see!"

And [she] went with Him and saw where He was staying and remained with Him the rest of the day" (John 1:39)
Almighty God, you have made us for yourself and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you. ~St. Augustine
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