"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Awake and Aware

I don't naturally live my moment-by-moment, every day in "awareness". Much of my day is lived in auto-pilot and going about business-as-usual. This isn't a bad thing, necessarily. But, I want so much more.

I just find that during my day I am asleep sometimes... just walking through my day in a survival, or "doing" haze.

I want to see more! And, I think the Spirit of God is inviting me to see more. ...to be aware. ...to be more alive and awake.

But, that said, I know myself too well to know that this will not come naturally or easily. I have to train my eyes to see, train my mind to awareness, train my soul to open up and train my body to slow down!

I have attempted... in the past... to set an alarm a few times through my day. A reminder "ring" from my phone, inviting me to sit for a moment and reflect. When I have actually responded to this reminder by sittin' my rear-end in a chair (2 or 5 minutes) a few times a day, wow!, what a difference it makes. When I "make myself" sit down to reflect, to worship, to respond to God during my day--- during that natural "auto-pilot" mode, I feel that I become more alive. When I do this, I feel myself more aware.

There really is so much to see... so much to see with my eyes and mind: beauty and blessings. There is so much to see with my soul: my heart's state, my wandering thoughts, the emotional state of my children; and so much to see with my spirit: what is God doing, saying, leading, inviting me to in that moment.

I don't want to miss it! I don't want to miss one moment of one day!

And, so, this week I try again. ...although the phone ring has been a failed attempt in the past. I try again to remind myself. I try again to train my mind and my body.

So, here is my 'training exercise/experiement'---I set my phone alarm a few times through the day. The phone rings... and I stop what I am doing. I stop WHATEVER I am doing (and this is hard!) and pray, ask, seek, look, worship.

I know this isn't fabulously new or even remarkably profound in any way (smile)! And, I know that it is only a tool. But, I also have known it to be an open door to sweetness.

Anyone want to try it with me?

I know it can be done. I have done it before. And, it has been wonderful. Really, wonderFULL!

I don't naturally live this way. .... but, I am learning and want to keep on learning.

Teach me, Spirit to hear Your call and know Your presence throughout my day. Teach me to stay aware, alert and to be on guard! May I learn, by Your power and Your help to worship you and pray without ceasing. ...for what joy awaits me as I enter into this awareness!! What an invitation You have given me to walk with You always and continually.

"[In] the whole of world history there is always only one really significant hour — the present…"

~Dietrich Bonhoeffer