"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Friday, June 29, 2012

Teaching me while I sleep...

The other night, I believe that God spoke to me in a dream.

This wasn't a "first" for me.  He has used dreams before.  And for me, more often than not, He has used dreams to instruct my heart and convict me of sin.  ...to teach me.  

This dream was no different.  He has something to say, something to remind me, something to teach me...again.  

The dream was simple.   I saw a man I knew, a respected man, and the man said to me plain-and-clear, "If God tells you something once, you need to listen.  If He tells you something two times, it is very important, Stephanie.  And, if He tells you a third time, take heed."  And then I woke up. 

Take heed.  On waking, I knew.  I knew instantly that my Father was talking to me.  Immediately, in that moment,  I asked Him, "What is it, Father?  What are you saying?"  

Within seconds, almost instantly, I had this phrase come to mind:  It is just food.  

It is just food, Stephanie.  

You see, I have just found out that I have (yet another) food intolerance that I need to juggle.  My body has always been a bit of a holey tent to say the least.  And, the issues with food allergies and intolerances have only been the most recent of "holes" I have found in this my earthly tent.  

For days, this news was like an emotional slap.  Really, Lord...One more thing, Lord? One more major food to avoid?  One more "issue" in my body??  Worry--Confusion---  How am I to incorporate this?  Frustration and even Anger reigned in my heart for days after getting the blood test results.  

It is just food.   With simplicity and kindness of tone came these words.  And, I knew they were from His Spirit to my heart. ...for they brought light, a soul-widening and distinct peace.  

For anyone who has read my blog for any length, you will know that I have struggled many years with the sin of gluttony.  A love, or lust, for food has plagued me and I have struggled with issues of overeating---for a variety of heart-reasons, to be sure!  

He has slowly been peeling my hands and heart away from food and He has kindly used food allergies to aid in this difficult process.  A love for food is a hard one to break!  ...any "loves" that are not of Him are, aren't they?  They hold us and we grasp.  And, we return to them time and time again.  

This is my "third" major food allergy category.  Thus, the "if the Lord tells you something three times", I think.  

He has taken my "food-loves" away and required me to choose my health and well-being over my love for food.  And, He has shown me through this that "food is fuel". ...fuel, yes, that is to be enjoyed in special ways at times.  But, fuel, -none-the-less.  It is just food, right?  

It is just food, Stephanie.  Let go and release.  It isn't that big of a deal.  

His words, these words, have brought significant freedom to my heart.  He has lightened the load of this news.  And, He is already using the "hard" news to bring fruit in my soul.  
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