"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Sometimes it is just a bit dark...

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It was dark this morning.  And it felt cold.  I felt cold.

Sometimes morning just brings haze.  And, darkness.  I don't know why...

I woke up this morning to the dark.  Literally and emotionally.

Dark and cold, inside and out,  I dragged myself out of bed... awake, but desperate for my cup of coffee.

Coffee in hand, I plopped hard into my quiet time chair. Wordless feelings just sat with me in the morning gloom.  I just feel yuck...  and cold hearted.  And, tired.

As my mind lingered in that hazy space, I mechanically picked up one of my devotional books.  I guess I'll start here...  

Half heartedly, I began to read a verse in my book:  "Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you...  to rejoice in Your name all day long."  (Psalm 89:15)

...to rejoice in Your name...

Rejoice in My name...    

The words seemed to come alive just a bit, dancing to-and-fro from the page into my mind.  With slight hope  and the face-of-my heart upturned slightly, I thought... Okay... yes! this is where I will start today.

I began to write in my journal...

I simply wrote Truth.  In that moment, I made a choice to rejoice in His name, to acclaim Him.   Do you ever just have to choose Light?

Father, you are Almighty.  You are the Alpha and Omega.  You have always been and You will always be.  You are beautiful and majestic.  All You do is good...  

On and on I wrote... filling the page with Truth.

By the second or third sentence, although the physical darkness of the morning was still heavy, the haze over my heart had lifted and the darkness had faded.

I was made to worship.  Worship was my pathway back to joy this morning.    Praise was a light for my darkened mind.  Happy is he that has learned to acclaim You, to rejoice in Your name all day long!

I am learning.  Father, please keep teaching me, leading me, lighting my way!
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