So many things to ask. My mind was racing this morning with a list of things to talk with God about. So many things to ask.
And then I read, "One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek. That I may dwell in the house of the Lord and see His beauty". I was reminded, again, of the "one needful thing" that Martha was reminded of as Mary sat at Jesus' feet. She just sat there adoring Him. She sat at His feet listening. She wanted to know Him, listen to His voice, hear what He was thinking.
This was the one needful thing that Martha missed that day. I miss it often, too. My "Martha-ness" and "Mary-ness" always a bit at war. Not that I can't ask my many questions or even tell Him about my "list". His word tells me to share all my cares and to ask anything of Him. But, I was reminded to ask first for the one thing I really need. So I did.
I sat and tried to just listen. He is real, right? He is present always, right? I know this in my head. I know this from His word and His promises. I even have experienced it personally. So, why do I miss it so often. Why is it so hard to sit and enjoy Him.
It had to be a choice this morning. A choice that my heart wanted. A choice motivated mostly by true desire, but a choice none-the-less. So, I sat in the quiet. I disciplined my mind to worship. With much difficulty and easily distracted, I sat. It started slowly as I, almost mechanically, began to articulate His attributes, His goodness. I started to tell Him why I love Him. And, then in an instant I was really adoring. Something had changed from the mechanical to the real. I was really enjoying Him and my heart was, for a moments time, undisturbed and focused in worship.
In that moment I was able to ask for One Thing from Him. All I wanted from Him in that moment was Himself. I wanted His glory, His beauty and His presence. My heart and therefore my mind was set heavenward.
And then we talked about my list...