"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Change of plans... change of heart

One phone call this morning brought major changes to my plans this week. Anyone who knows me well will agree that I am not Ms. Flexible. I don't naturally handle ambiguity, flexibility and change of schedule very well. You could say that I am Ms. Planned. I am Ms. Expectation or Ms. Schedule, but certainly NOT Ms. Flexible. But God does things in our hearts that make us more than we are, doesn't He!?! He changes us from the inside out and helps us to do what we can't do, feel what we can't feel and be who we can't naturally be (a paraphrased quote from Beth Moore's bible study on The Fruit of the Spirit). He makes the inflexible... flexible. By His grace, He does miracles of the heart... small-looking from the outside, but ginormous miracles of the heart.

We had a change of plans this morning. This change was not life-threatening or particularly important... no one died, no one was sick, no one was injured. These I tend to handle just fine. In the past it has been the smaller changes of plans, the need for small shifts, that have brought the most wrath from my soul! Silly, I know. But, none-the-less, me. So...the change affected my calendar for this week and next week. One phone call and many plans for the weeks had to shift. Normally,... naturally, I would be immediately agitated, annoyed and flustered. That is me. I have story after story to tell of my inappropriate heart responses to small changes in plans. Others that love me have many stories to tell, too! It isn't pretty. But, this morning was different. Amazingly different.

The call came. The wrench was thrown into the plan-wheel. The flurry of shifting, rescheduling and new plan making began and... I didn't in the least feel upset or agitated. I wasn't angry. I wasn't flustered and I wasn't annoyed. This is more remarkable than simple words on a page can communicate. This is victory. This is God's grace at work in my heart. Simply put... the response to the circumstance was God... God in me. Wow!

He really can make me who I am not! He really does create something from nothing! The call came. Without thought, really, I knew that the plan change was necessary and was certain somewhere deep that it was all within God's good plan. My heart experience was peace and calm. Our new plan making went without flurry or annoyance. Truly God's grace at work!

O kind, Father, it may be a small thing for anyone looking in... but, I know this is a huge victory. I see it and acknowledge Your hand. Oh, Lord keep doing these amazing things in my heart! I see Your grace, Your victory, Your light all over my heart this morning. I praise You for Your work in my life and ask for Your continued grace. I am reminded that You promise to complete Your work in me. I surrender my heart to You completely for continued work, for more changes, more grace! Thank You, Father for Your hand in my life. I ask You to continue to order my days, to plan my life and have Your way with me!