I just feel like I need to run, to hurry, to get to the next thing. ...to do more.
Being on home assignment (or furlough) will do that... the schedule is tight, the opportunities to visit with people are way-beyond time and space... But.
But, it seems more than that. I felt as I flew into LAX, I flew into a cloud of fast-paced hurriedness.
Is it me or do Americans rush around like crazy?
Not that my schedule at home isn't full, but I just feel it here. Like a blanket that seems to surround or descend, I feel pushed, pulled and rushed.
And it isn't really about the schedule, or the busy-ness, ...it is about my heart. It is about the state of my heart.
Rest in God alone. Rest in My love. This, I know, is what my Father calls me to--- this is the Great Invitation.
I can rest in His love, His sovereignty and goodness, and in His timing. ... His timing. Does God rush?
It reminds me of that lovely scene in Princess Diaries, where the queen is "late" and she is mildly rebuked by a servant, who is attempting to help her queen along, "to not be late." In this scene, the queen comes calmly and graciously into the room and remarks, "The queen is never late! Her subjects have just arrived early." This same queen later encourages her protégée granddaughter to remember that she is a princess. And, that "Princesses, never rush. They never run...". This is what has been echoing into my heart the last few days.
Stephanie, princesses never run. They never rush. You are a princess. I am the King. And, I am never late!
I don't know what to attribute the rushed, fast-paced feeling to... is it cultural, circumstantial, or simply a spiritual stronghold? I don't know. But, I do know that it is contrary to the rest He is calling me to.
Not that I believe that we are called to "non-busy-ness" exactly... I just believe we are called to a state of rest, in the midst of life and busy stuff. And I believe that a restful, peaceful heart is never rushed.
I have felt rushed. Pushed and harried.
I choose to settle down this moment into His love. I choose to do only that which He puts before me right now, not worrying about tomorrow. And, I chose to rest in Him.
And, in about 45 minutes, I need to be out the door and off again to the next thing. But, I don't have to run out the door. I don't have to rush. I can calmly, graciously walk. In my heart, in my soul, I can trust my King. ...pushing back the pull and pressure to run.
