"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Borrowing Worry

I had never heard the saying before. 
 You are borrowing worry, my husband said to my son. 
 My sweet boy was worried about next weeks Boys Brigade meeting. 
 He asked his Daddy to explain the phrase... I didn't need the explanation. I understood it instantly. 
It struck me like a load of bricks and has been rolling around in my head these past few days. I am always borrowing worry.
Just last week I found myself all worked up over an upcoming event. Unintentionally, almost without consciousness, I had imagined all the possible bad outcomes. I had invented all the ways the event might go poorly. I had wondered, worried, planned even how I was to handle myself during this possibly-stressful event. I had borrowed worry. 
 Interestingly enough, the event came and went with little or no stress, no conflict and no worries. All the worrying I had done was utterly and completly useless. In vain. It did me nothing but harm to wonder, to plan, to worry. All in vain.
Borrowing just leaves you in debt. We are cautioned about being in debt... does God just mean money? Do not worry about tomorrow, God says. Don't borrow tomorrow's worry. Today has enough for you to think about... why reach into tomorrow's pocket and borrow from it? What will that do for you, God says? Oh, that I would learn. I have before me the opportunity to be anxious for nothing. I have before me the opportunity for the peace of Christ to rule, reign and guard my heart and mind.
Father, make me more keenly aware of this harmful habit, this sin.. worry. Father, teach me to trust You more.
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