"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Prayer Pains

It is amazing how God has wired our bodies. When we are tired we have a myriad of physical signs that tell us to sleep. When we are thirsty we have a distinct need for water. We know we are thirsty. In fact, our heads will ache, our urine will smell and our energy level drops as an indication that it is time to hydrate. When we are hungry... again, God has given us many signs of hunger. Most distinctly we have the pains of hunger in our stomache. We have been created with very specific growls and pains as our body clearly indicates "eat"!

I decided to begin a weekly fast again. I have done this in the past for a variety of spiritual reasons. Today I wanted to ask God to make me hungry for Him. I have been so aware lately of my natural ability to "manage" my life and do thing in my own strength. It is almost like a chronic illness! (smile) Yesterday, after a long and productive day... a good day... I found that I had spent nearly the whole day without an ounce of prayer. Although this extreme prayerlessness is not necessarily normal for me, certainly the pattern of reliance on self and forgetfulness of God is an issue for me. So, in an attempt to "buffet my body" and use hunger as a reminder to pray... I decided to fast. Just to be clear, today's fast is in no way a punishment. I don't feel I must. I am not doing it for reasons of religion. In fact, on the contrary, it is an act of worship. I am using it... or attempting to use it to more easily direct or lead my heart, mind and body toward my loving Father.

I want to praise Him more. I want to be hungry for Him... to see my need for Him. I want to trust Him so much that when any perplexing things come in my day, my natural instinct is to hand it to Him. I want to cast all my cares on my Father, who not only cares for me (huge, amazing thought in and of itself!) but a Father who is Almighty, All-powerful and All-knowing. Why I try to fix, to mold, to make, to plan and to schedule all my perplexities on my own is beyond me?! But, none-the-less, I do it! And, so today I have chosen the discipline of fasting.

In the same way that God has given my body signs of exhaustion, thirst and hunger, so today I am asking Him to give me prayer pains. I want my soul, my heart, my mind to "growl" more regularly with my need for prayer and relationship with Father. Just as when I am fasting, any smell or thought of food makes my stomach go crazy... so, I want any question, any circumstance, any person, any problem to create in me a crazed longing for the Father, for His presence, His perspective and His truth.

Lord give me prayer pains. Create in me a natural inclination to pray as you have created in me a natural inclination to sleep, drink and eat.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...