"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Friday, September 18, 2009

Old and New

We live in an old house. A very old house! 100 years or more... And so, as you can imagine, the stairs creak. They creak a lot! Just this morning, I heard one of my new favorite sounds: creaking stairs. That early morning creak means that one of my kids is on their way down for their good-morning snuggle. There is a significant moment of joy the minute I hear the creak.

This morning, though, the joy was coupled with a desire and prayer for this day to be a bit different than yesterday. Last night my son and I struggled. Simply put, he didn't want to do something and I made him do it. He would be surprised to know that this wasn't easy for me. I knew it was good and, with force, I insisted. But, the struggle... the wrestle, was not easy for mom. I didn't physically wrestle with my son last night, but instead I went head-to-head with his (sometimes) stubborn will. The day didn't end badly, but my heart did suffer mildly during and after the struggle. I didn't enjoy the conflict, to be sure.

When I heard the creak this morning, immediately prayers of 'a different day' rose up to my good Father. Father, I want my son to know he is loved. I want him to know that we are okay and that my love for him is fresh, new and unchanged. This was my natural, instant mom-prayer as I heard the creak of our old stairs. Old creaks brought forth prayers for new. New mercy, fresh relationship, new love.

Ah... the thought brought such a sweetness to my time with Jesus this morning. God's word tells me that His mercies are new every morning. I don't come to Him this morning relying on old grace or old mercy. To be sure, I have worn those out completely already! I come to Him and He offers fresh mercy, new mercy... unused compassion and love.

God and I wrestled yesterday, too. Again, the same old patterns I have been writing about came creeping up like destructive friends. Although I didn't run away with these "friends" for long, I did turn from trust, truth and love for a long moment. I walked toward the worries, the control and the frustrations that comes so naturally to me. God, once again, came up against my (sometimes) stubborn will. He fought with me and we struggled together.

I often wonder why He puts up with me! I only have to wonder that, though, for a moment until I think of those creaking stairs. Those morning creaks bring such joy to my heart! This morning I heard that old creak and thought, My son was coming down! We would embrace and I would show him with my snuggles and my words that I loved him. He would know this morning that we are okay and that my love for him hasn't changed.

Am I a better parent than my Almighty, All-loving, Always good Father?!! I don't put up with my son. I love my son. God doesn't put up with me. He loves me.

Each morning as I creak down those old stairs to meet with Him... He is filled with joy and anticipation. He, amazingly!, wants to show me that His love for me is new and fresh. His mercies are new every morning.

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. His mercies are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22
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