"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Another bout of Amnesia

How quickly I forget!

A week of sweet ministry... a week of wrestling in prayer and seeing God at work. Closeness. Connection with Father and conviction of sin.

Such an invitation our Father offers us! Such intimacy He offers... and, when I experience it, it is all Truth, all Life, and pure Sweetness.

And, then how quickly I forget!!

I have walked as one in amnesia this past two days. As if I had never known that "peace which surpasses understanding", I have walked around in a cloud of confusion, isolation and frustration I have been anxious, fearful, worried, harried, and stressed.

Is it just jet-lag and exhaustion? ...maybe a contributing factor, yes. But there is more to it than that, I know. I just forgot.

Last night, as a family, we began reading out-loud a recently-recommended novel, Callanish by William Horwood. In short, the story is about a golden eagle trapped and taken to the London Zoo. Well written, the beginning chapters introduce this story and character in such a way that you feel deeply for his plight. You feel deeply sad for this captive bird. You feel the violation of the freedom that has been ripped from him.

As Creggan enters the Zoo cages, he is kindly instructed by an aging, tired, tender Golden Eagle who has been in captivity for all her life. She tell him that he must never forget his freedom. With pounding emotion, this caged, dying eagle implores the young captive to remember! Remember who you are and where you came from, she says. NEVER forget, she pleads with him. She illustrates her instruction by pointing out the other birds around them... those that have forgotten. They live as dead, as "caged", with hopelessness.

Live as one free.

Live as one who knows and remembers who they are and from where they have come!

The message of this book came to mind as I sat down to be with my Lord this morning. Did you forget, Stephanie? His Spirit whispers. Did you forget WHO I am? What I did for you? Who you are? Who you have become in me?

Yes, Father! I forgot! I am so sorry.

So, today, (again)... today, I remember. I choose to remember! I read His word and I remember.

I remember Who my Father is and what my Savior, Jesus, did for me! I remember the seal of His Spirit on my heart and the inheritance that is mine in Christ! Today, I remember that He created the heavens and the earth. And today, I remember that He chose me, in delight, before the creation of the world. Today, I will not forget.

I will speak it out, write it out... and remember today.

In remembering... just the simple act of remembering, I am close again. I am connected. I have "drawn near to God". And, He has "drawn near to me!". (James 4:8) What sweetness He offers!

Caged in this world... caged in this body, this tent, ... May I never forget who I am and from where I came! May I never forget again!

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