While explaining what God is teaching me to my 9 year old, I seem to grab the lesson more significantly and plant it deeper in my heart. I feel similarly when I write a blog post. Just the act of writing it down (or more accurately typing it), makes the lesson more real. It settles down. It becomes more solid somewhere within.
This morning I attempted to explain my significant Sunday lesson in trust and surrender. It had been a profound silent, journaling time with the Lord. I hadn't put it into verbal words yet, but wanted to share with my family. So, I began to explain that God had opened my eyes and my heart wider to trust and faith. God had been showing me that I could trust His love and surrender to Him, His care. A lesson of deep trust.
The look on my 9 year old's face was priceless. Confused. Questioning. I could just see his brain-wheels turning. All over his brow was written his non-verbal question, "Haven't you learned to trust God already? Haven't you surrendered to God before?"
Responding to his quizzical brow, I reminded my sweet son of our recent homeschooling lessons on dividing fractions. Remember, I said, that I taught you how to divide fractions two weeks ago?
And, then, I said, last week, you said to me... "Mom, I know you have taught this to me before; but, can you please show me again?"
And, of course, we sat down again and learned it again, right? i reminded him. He nodded in acknowledgement. And then, just last Friday, I needed to teach it to you it again, right? Do you remember?
And, do you remember, I said, when each time I taught it ---each time!--- you "got it". Remember that moment when you KNEW how to divide fractions!? ...That ah-ha moment? Remember that moment, son?
He smiled and a light flashed in his eyes... he was getting it now!
Well, our Christian lives are like that. We learn things like trust. And, faith. And, love. ...God shows us just like I showed you the fractions. And, each time... each time!... there is a moment when we "get it" and we feel like we finally know!! And, those moments are special and sweet. And, in those moments we do know. And, each moment we do know even more, even better than we did before.
But, the reality is that we will revisit those concepts again and again. We will re-learn and have to be shown again. And, our kind Father is very patient in His pursuit of teaching us these important lessons.
Son, I am guessing I will have to teach you how to divide fractions at least one more time. What do you think? He smiled with a nod and a, "yep".
And, my 9 year old boy, understood Mommy's ah-ha trust experience with the Lord on Sunday. And, I suppose I understood it a bit more too.
May I learn it again and again Lord! Keep teaching me, I pray!