"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Remain and Watch

He asks His disciples to "Remain here and watch with Me."

He asks them to remain and watch. Just stay here, He says. And, keep alert.

I am a "do-er" extrodinarre. Really, I am. I can be very efficient and can get things done quite effectively. I can "do" very well. And, I "do" a lot ... most of the time, really. Always moving, working, cleaning, ordering, fixing, ... always "doing" something or another.

In contrast, I am not a "just-be" extrodinarre, that is for sure!

I can sit still. And, I do make time to sit. And, I even like to sit with the Lord or in quiet. But, even in my sitting... I am pretty much always still "doing". There are truly very few moments when I am just being. Actually, I am not entirely sure what that might look like.

I want to learn more about what it might look like to just "be" with God. To just remain.

But, Jesus asks His friends to "remain here" and "keep watch". So, they weren't to just remain... they were to remain AND keep watch. This encourages my heart.

For years I have prayed and longed to grow in my ability to remain in Him. He has so kindly told me, "If you remain in me, I will remain in you!". And, the very thought of knowing ...living in... the reality of Him in me, is an incredibly inviting thought. And, so I have wanted to learn to remain.

It is good to know that it doesn't necessarily mean to only sit still and be. I am realizing it also can incorporate my "doing" ... for I believe that I am an do-er extrodinarre to His glory and because of Him!

But, in reality, though, ... I, very much like the disciples, "fall asleep" and "can't keep watch for even one hour!" I drift. I sleep. I focus all my heart, my mind and my efforts on the task, on the doing... not Him. Not on Him, at all. The truth is that I "do" a lot... most really ... without any real remaining. Or, at least, no real aware-remaining, or purposeful remaining.

He wept drops of blood and His disciples were totally unaware. Totally unaware of what He was feeling, praying or experiencing ... they slept. And, I "sleep" off and on all day. Totally unaware of what Jesus, my ever-interceding brother is feeling, praying or experiencing. I forget. I drift. And, I sleep. ... all the while I keep "doing".

So, He is asking me tonight to remain in Him and keep watch... And, I am asking Him, tonight, to teach me to remain in Him and keep watch. Teach me, Jesus to see what You see, to feel what You feel, to experience what You experience. Teach me to remain in You.

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