"I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." ~St. Augustine

Monday, March 28, 2011

Seeing Red Jam

I am counting. And, I love it!

In my attempt to train my heart, mind, and soul to see more of God ...and give Him all of me ... I have been making a list each night of all the things I am thankful for. Counting each night. More than just a "thankful-list", really, I am attempting to see all the things in my day in Him, around Him, about Him. The big things, the little, and the mundane. Can I see Him more in my day?

I began making a list a week ago. This idea is not a Stephanie-original, of course!! And, the basis of my list has been encouraged along by author Ann Voskamp at A Holy Experience. And, I believe it is indeed training my eye.

For, yesterday, as I spread the red jam on the pb&j sandwich, I delighted in the deep red color and made a mental note to write it on my list that evening. And, that is a change. Maybe my soul, my mind and my heart can be trained to see Him more!

Currently all life, for me, is not all about Him. And, I know that I miss Him more than I can even imagine. And, I want that to change. Not because I think it "should"... for the million "shoulds" in my life have been more damaging than helpful. But, I want it to change, because I love Him. I believe it is my love for Him that drives me to want to know Him more, see Him more and be more aware of Him. For, I believe, that in Him I move and breath and have my very being! (Acts 17:28). I truly believe that He wakes me each morning and He beautifully shepherds all my day. And, so I want to see Him more.

So, in an attempt to train my mind to be aware.. I am making a list. One week has passed and I just wrote #67. Isn't that fun! 67 times this week that I saw Him, His beauty, His gifts, His touch!

Can I just share a few...

#1... warm hugs from my sweet children

#2... a tender kiss from my husband, just because.

#6... a comfy pillow.

#13... my daughter making pancakes on her own-- and yum ones, too.

#21... good family movie about courage, honor and hope.

#27... a quiet moment to read.

#35... a kind email from a friend.

#38... bright red jam on my peanut butter sandwich.

#46... hot coffee

#55... worship with my team

#61... acts of obedience seen today in my children.

#66... a protective growl from my sweet dog.

These are only a few of what I "saw" this week. The voice of God in my life. The messages of my loving Father spoken, felt, seen and experienced this week through sweet gifts. For God does speak--now one way, now another--though man may not perceive it. Job. 33:14

And so I attempt to train my mind and to work that awareness-muscle that can be so flabby! And, with a little effort, I am seeing Him more. And, I am more thankful today!
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