My Advent

There are days when it all feels very heavy and dark.  The world.  The news.  The sadness.

But, today, I awoke with a sadness that was almost oppressive.  Sadness seemed to hang around my neck as I rose from bed.  It pulled me down and filled my chest as I sipped my coffee.  Grief sat in my throat as I ate and weighed heavy as I walked to church.  As worship began, the tears hung heavy in my eyes...  slow, big, fat, hot tears.

Heavy, dark sadness.

I was sad... deeply saddened by the state of my heart.

Simply put, in my life, there is a certain way of thinking and seeing that is just wrong.  Profoundly wrong.  I know it is wrong; and yet, I still think the crooked thoughts and see with these darkened eyes.  There seems to be nothing I can do to change it.   Years, my heart cries.  Years and years I have seen this way and battled against it.   Years, Lord!  I cry out...longing for this to be changed.

I even know why I might naturally think this way...   I am aware.  I know the history--- I understand the where it came from.  God has shown me.   And, that has helped.   Awareness is definitely good.

But, still.  Still, I can't shift it.  I can't seem to change or fix the pattern.  My friend refers to these places as tectonic plates in our souls.  I seriously need an big 'ol 8.0 to shake these set ways of seeing.  Where can I go and what can I do?

It was one moment in time...

One swift moment.  This morning, in the midst of this heavy grief over my sin...

One young man reading one well-known passage in Scripture. 

A phrase.  A line from the text.  The Word jumped out of his teenage mouth into my dark heart and there was instantaneous light.  I felt it.  One beautiful moment...   Truth and light.

I quickly found the passage to read it again.  I couldn't take my eyes off it!  I read and read.  As I read the Word, I could literally feel the surge of hope.  I could feel the light swelling and pushing out the sadness.

"Every valley shall be raised up.  Every hill made low.  The rough ground shall become level and the rugged places a plain." (Isaiah 40:4)

Rugged and rough places.  Dark valleys...

In my minds eye I could see the rough and rugged reality of my soul--- these wrong ways of thinking and the dark valleys where my eyes could not see rightly.

My soul.  Rough.  Rugged.  Thorny and full of stones.

As if I could hear the Spirit of the Lord this morning saying over me, "Make a straight path for our God!" (Isaiah 40:3)  He commands it.  The Lord wills it.  Over me, He speaks...  I will make it level!  

In me.  In and over these rough places.  In me... a straight path.  Level ground.  A green plain.  A straight pathway for the glory of the Lord.

This is the gospel.  This is what Jesus has done for me.  This is what Jesus is doing in me...   The now and the 'not yet'.  He has shifted.  He will shift.  And, He continues to shift the rocks and make way for His way in and through me.  I have seen it.  I will continue to see it.

Light shone into my darkness this morning.  This morning, I, once again, saw a great light.  The darkness will not overcome it.  He is making all things new.  This will shift.  This will change.

There are days when it all feels very heavy.  Yes.

Today, I will wait.  I will hope and I will watch for the Lord.  With joy, now, hovering over my head and light filling out the spaces of my heart---I wait.

My advent. 

"And then, imperceptibly, it was death and winter that yielded, and life and spring stood at the door and beckoned." ~ Elizabeth Goudge, Towers in the Midst

Advent Needed Today

Last night it was at 2 am.  Sometimes it comes in the quiet of the morning... or maybe it comes into the stillness found when I am chopping vegetables for dinner.  Worry.

Worry comes.  Unbidden.  Unwelcome.  But, it comes and I find myself fighting for breath and truth---searching for a solid rock for my emotions to rest upon.

Worry.  Often about yesterday.  Most often about tomorrow.  The thoughts swirl around my mind and my heart.  Dizzy with what feels "real"...but, in reality isn't real at all.  It isn't now.  It's a story.  It is only a fictional piece playing in my mind:  Re-membering yesterday and fore-telling tomorrow.  What might have been?  What I should have done.  What I did wrong?  Will I have enough?  What might come?  What could be the end of this story line?  What if?

Last night it came at 2 am.

The darkness and loneliness of night makes the battle evermore fierce sometimes, doesn't it?

Truth fought hard at the corners and edge of my mind last night.  Do not worry.   Do not be afraid.  Do not be anxious about anything.  I heard the whispers.  But, these words felt so far off.  He felt so far off.

Lord, why is it so hard sometimes for me to take this in?  Why can I not live in this freedom that you offer and bought for me?  

Lessons long learned.  Lessons taught and written about here.  Freedom found.  And, so easily lost... again.  I believe.  Help me with my unbelief!

Morning came.  It always does.  Oh, my Dayspring!  "...through the tender mercy of God, whereby the dayspring from on high hast visited us, to give light to them that sit in the darkness..."  (Luke 1:76-79)

His faithfulness found me here again.  This morning I came.  I sat and waited.  I listened to His Word.  I asked.  Today, a fresh day.  A day to stand on His Truth and He, Himself, as the rock that can steady my heart.  His hold ever secure in midst of the fictional flood that overwhelmed me last night.

He came.  Today, He came.  My Dayspring.  My love.

Love comes.

Truth comes.  Light floods.  Welcomed.  Asked for.  ...hoped for.  The coming.  The Advent again this morning.  Fresh coming.  His whispers---ever steadfast---won and pushed through this morning.  No longer at the edge, His Presence filled.

Advent means the arrival.  The coming.  The rising.  The dawning.  My Advent, my Jesus!  Oh how this heart needs Your coming each and every day.


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How I Wish I Had Gold!

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I received an early Christmas gift last week and it was a massive surprise.  Extravagant and unexpected, this gift shocked me when I saw it.   My kids now fondly call this gift "The 'Oh my goodness!'" Apparently, that is what I said over and over again when I saw it.  I was so surprised!  Those were the words that came out...  "Oh my goodness!... Oh! my goodness! ... Oh! my goodness!"

In reality, these were hardly words and mostly just raw emotion.  I was overwhelmed.  I was so thankful.

Tonight as we were singing some familiar Christmas carols, I was struck with a line in one of the songs... "so bring Him incense, gold and myrrh, come peasant, king to own Him"  (from What Child is This?).  As I sang these words, I had this unexpected, deep, almost-groaning-desire well up within me and my soul whispered a prayer...  Oh! Jesus, if only I had gold.  

Oh! Jesus if only I had gold.  I would lay it down.  I would lay it at your feet.  

I was overwhelmed tonight with the thought of This extravagant gift.  Jesus.  "a son given"  (Isaiah 9:6)

Jesus.  Given.  And, my heart was washed with a sense of awe and an "Oh! my goodness!" that was beyond words.

What can I lay down tonight in response to This Amazing Gift--- Jesus, my brother?  My friend.  My loving and grace-filled Savior.  My redeemer.  My everything!  How can I say thank you?   Words fail me.

I could lay down this extravagant Christmas gift given to me last week.  Yes! Absolutely, in a heart beat.  I lay it down.  But, really, it would be just pittance.  Pittance.

What can I lay down, Lord Jesus?  I will bring it...  I will lay it at your feet!

What is my gold?  What is my incense and my myrrh?

There is only a deep, welling desire to worship.

Oh how I wish I had gold!

"Haste! Haste to bring Him laud..."  

Immanuel Spoken of...

They will call him Immanuel, which means God is with us.  (Isaiah 7:14, Matthew 1:23)

I have been loving the concept of "Immanuel" this Advent Season.   What a perplexing, amazing, mind-blowing, and comforting idea and Truth!!  God with us!

God with us in the waiting. God with us in the pain.  God with us in the tired moments and the moments of pleasure.  God with us in the mundane and the fun!  God is with us.

God is with you...  today.

God is with me.

I want to know and understand His Presence, His Thoughts, His Heart more...

As I have been enjoying and thinking on the concept of Immanuel, His Presence with us, I have been blessed by reading the thoughts of others...

I have said it before---one of the reasons I write is because I read.  Words touch me and move me.  The words of others sometimes make concrete the very ideas, concepts and streaming thoughts that swirl in my heart and mind.

So, today, I offer you a few pieces of bread from the tables of others.  ...from the places I have feasted this week.  Read with me and taste the beauty of God's Truth in these words.

From old-friends and family:

"God is a Person, and in the deep of His mighty nature He thinks, wills, enjoys, feels, loves, desires and suffers as any other person may.  In making Himself known to us He stays by the familiar pattern of personality.  He communicates with us through the avenues of our minds, our wills and our emotions.  The continuous and unembarrassed interchange of love and thought between God and the soul of the redeemed man is the throbbing heart of the New Testament religion"  ~A. W. Tozer

"To sense the presence of God in the Bible, one must learn to be present to God in the Bible.  Presence is not a concept, but a situation.  To understand love it is not enough to read tales about it.  Presence is not disclosed to those who are unattached and try to judge, to those who sense the story, not the pathos; the idea, not the realness of God.  The Bible is the frontier of the spirit where we must move and live in order to discover and to explore.  It is open to him who gives himself to it, who lives with it intimately."  ~Abraham Heschel

"God is not real to most of us because of our consciousness.  He is closer to our minds every moment than our own thoughts.  He is nearer to our hearts than our own feelings.  He is more intimate with our wills than our most vigorous decisions.  If we are not aware of him, it is not because he is not with us.  It is, in part, because our consciousness is so under the sway of other interests that it cannot turn to him with the loving attention which might soon discern him."  ~Albert Edward Day

"From the first moment of your spiritual life until you are ushered into glory, the language of Christ to you will be, "Come, come unto me."  As a mother puts out her finger to her little child and woos it to walk by saying, "Come," even so does Jesus.  He will always be ahead of you, bidding you follow him as the soldier follows his captain.  He will always go before you to pave your way, and clear your path, and you shall hear his animating voice calling after him all through life."  ~Charles Spurgeon

"He was not terrified.  One believing like him in the perfect Love, the perfect Presence, and the perfect Will of a Father of men, as a fact of facts, fears nothing."  ~George MacDonald, Sir Gibbie

"O Holy Spirit of God, visit now this soul of mine, and tarry within it until eventide.  Inspire all my thoughts.  Pervade all my imaginations.  Suggest all my decisions.  Lodge in my will's most inward citadel and order all my doings.  Be with me in my silence and in my speech, in my haste and in my leisure, in company and in solitude, in the freshness of the morning and the weariness of the evening; and give me grace at all times to rejoice in thy mysterious companionship."  ~John Baillie

Reposted from 12/16/2011

Welcome to My World

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Most people live their lives as if God is very far away.   Sometimes I do, too.  Do you?

I have been thinking a lot about the concept of  Immanuel.   ...God with us.

I remember my Old Testament professor reminding us that the Immanuel idea:  "God with us" was not always a positive concept in Scripture.  Sometimes, in fact, it was terrifying.  There were times in the Bible where "God with us" meant judgement and wrath.

But, the promised Messiah would be different... at least His first coming would be.  With the Messiah would come the forgiveness of sins.  Jesus was given His name, "God saves", for a reason.  He would indeed be "God with us" in the best possible way and He would bring salvation when He came.    He would come in humility and love.  He would come with peace, goodness, and righteousness---blessing was being held out for all mankind to respond to.  This is the Father's heart made flesh in the Son's birth on earth.

Emmanuel.  God with us...  What a thought!  In these last few years this Truth has become more and more sweet to my soul.  He is with us!

He is with me!

But recently there has been another aspect of this idea bouncing around in my head.  It isn't just that God came down and took the form of man.  He did that, yes, indeed   And, that alone is amazing!  But, still more... after His death and Resurrection He sent His Spirit to dwell within us.  He would come and be within His bride--- those that welcome Him in.

Immanuel:  God within us.  The "God with us" is no longer an idea that is tenderly right next to me, or outside of me in any way.  He can't be far off.  He is inside me!  This God, my savior God,  is within us.   He is within me.

I was particularly struck with the immensity of this Truth as I sang the popular song, "Welcome to Our World" by Chris Rice.   The words, "So, wrap our injured flesh around you.  Breathe our air and walk our sod.  Rob our sin and make us holy", pierced my heart as I listened and sang.

It isn't just that the Word of God became flesh and dwelt among us.  He went even further than just being among us.  He sent His Spirit within.  He wrapped my injured flesh around Him.  He breathes my air and walks my sod.  He robbed my sin and is making me holy!

His Spirit dwells within me as I sit at this desk and type these words.  He walks my sod!  My shoes... my carpet... my stairs.  He knows me that intimately.  This is the God Immanuel that I am in awe of today.  This is advent for me today.

God within me.  He is that close.    Can He get any closer?

He is THAT close...

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I wrote in a post last week about my desire to be known...

This morning the cry of my heart shifted just slightly...  I want to know you, Father!!  I want to know You!

As I sat in quiet, I read and I listened, ...this too was a deep desire crying out from my heart:  To know others.  To be known, yes please!  And, also, to know.

That is real connection, isn't it?  It isn't simply that I want my husband to know me--- I want to know him.  I want to understand him more, to "get him"---just as I desire him to "get me".

My friends.  My children.  My parents.  Yes, I want to be known by them.  But, I also want to know them well.  When we know each other, there is such a sweetness--- such tenderness.

Knowing each other brings connection and closeness.

God gives us this option.  We can know God.  What a thought!

And, since the beginning of time, God has been bringing Himself closer--- from Creation until today, He has been making Himself known.  Knowable.

I can know God. This delights my heart!

He knows me.  And, I can know Him.  We can be that close--- that connected!

As we enter the advent season, I have begun reflecting on the Incarnation:  Jesus choosing earth as His home for a short season.  Jesus, my God, coming down.  Entering a woman... walking on the earth.

But, He has been making Himself known since the beginning of time.  In creation, God's hand splashed color and beauty and order over the earth... He made Himself known to us!  Then, in early days of our history, God gave us His word as He whispered Truth through the pens of prophets and servants.

Then, He came closer...even closer than Scripture!  His son chose to remove Himself from heaven and put Himself in the skin of a man.  He walked and talked and ate with us.  He put Himself closer to me and you!  We can be that close!!

But, He wanted us to know Him even more still.  He offers to enter us!  He offers to Incarnate Himself in my very heart.  "God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts"  (Galatians 4:6)  Can you get any closer?!

Jesus Himself testifies that the Spirit of God---the Comforter --is even closer, even "better" still than His walking on the earth.  (John 16:7)

We can know God that closely...  that tenderly.  With simple belief in the Son of God, His Spirit enters us---Incarnates!---and comes that close to me.  He is that close to you!

You are known.

And, you can know God.  He gives us that option.  He opened up the way.  In fact, it is the cry of His heart!

That is the prayer of my heart this morning.  Lord, my intimate Lord, I ask that through Your Spirit I may know You better!  (Ephesians 1:17)

"Every prayer-filled day sees a meeting with the God who comes; every night which we faithfully put at his disposal is full of his presence."  (Carlo Carretto, The God Who Comes)

"You will find the living God in the pages of the Bible.  You will find him also just exactly where you are...  God has sent the Spirit of Truth, he dwells in your hearts.  There is no limit to the ways in which God may make Himself known to you. At every turn in our lives there can be a meeting place with God."  (Mother Frances Dominica, Prayer--quote found in a Guide to Prayer)

Advent Noise

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I feel it creeping it's way into my mind and my soul.  A cacophony.

Pushing in and crowding out, the noises of the Christmas season, circle and engulf.  Do you feel this way?

The "to-do" list is long and the activities are in full swing.  Advent noises...

And actually most of the Christmas noise is truly joyful.

They are noises I have chosen.  And, noises I invite...

...The extra reading times, playing times, fun times with my kids off school...
...Friends over and Christmas carols pulsating around my home.
...The wrapping of carefully chosen gifts.
...The making of ornaments for dear friends.
...The "baking day" my kids look forward to each year and opening our home to any who might come join us to decorate that special ginger bread man!
And, the plans to cook, to clean, to give this and give that---  sweet joys of Christmas, really, sweet noise.

But, piled up and stacked high these joys can feel heavy and overly loud.  Creeping, pressuring, pulsing noise can fill my soul.

I have been asking Father God to help me slow down each day enough to hear Him, to see Him, to worship Him.  And, as I sit... I find it hard.  I feel the noises running around my mind crowding out His voice.

So, I had a thought last night as I discussed this with my Father in Heaven.

I don't feel He is asking me to stop the activities of Christmas--- the joys of giving, serving, singing, playing --- the people and the parties.  I feel He is inviting me to stop the "extra" noises I can control and choose.  I can turn off any excess noise I don't really need this week.  I can "turn down" the knobs that I don't need this week.

And, so, I am choosing Advent Silence this week.  ---no media, no computer, and nothing extra to add to the beautiful noises of advent.  That means no television.  No movies.  No internet.  No blog.  No email.(only one daily uick scan of email to keep in contact with my widely spread overseas family!)

I am shutting down all and any extra noise.  And, I will go looking for quiet and silence.

When I wrap those presents,  I will do it in silence and quiet.
When I write the Christmas cards, I will do it with no extra noise around me (minus the beautiful noises of my children, the ringing phone and the wizzing of the washing machine).

I don't really need to watch "another" Christmas movie? Do I?  Or, read that blog right now?  Or, just check facebook one more time.  I can turn off those noises.

So, this will be my last post until after Christmas.  I am shutting down.  ...in search of a bit of silence to balance the beautiful noises of the Season.

"Silence means rest, rest of body and mind, in which we become available for God."  ~Henri Nouwen, "Training"

 "Silence is the discipline that helps us to go beyond the entertainment quality of our lives." ~Henri Nouwen, "Can you drink the cup"

"What finally matters is that our hearts become like quiet cells where God can dwell, wherever we go and whatever we do.  The more we train ourselves to spend time with God and God alone, the more we will discover that God is with us at all times and in all places.  Then we will be able to recognize God even in midst of a busy and active life."  ~Henri Nouwen, "Making All Things New"

May you find God's sweet voice and know His tender Presence in the midst of the lovely noises of the Advent Season.  May you have a Merry and Happy Christmas!

Comfort for the Crooked

Each year we have a wonderful Christmas tradition:  we listen to Handel's Messiah.

Written in 1741, and taken from directly from Scripture, this piece of music is a masterpiece and profoundly moving.  This year one line seemed to jump out at me and sing itself deep into my soul.  One line repeated, and repeated-- filled my insides with hope and longing.   For days now it has been playing and replaying in my mind.  Would you take a minute to listen---this is only a small snip-it...

The crooked straight and the rough places plain.

Broken.  This world, our world,  is crooked and misshapen.  His People are dirty and messed up.  We are broken and twisted.   Sometimes we think very wrongly and we act very badly.  Our world.  You.

...and me.

God certainly knows this!

But, gentle words of comfort filled my soul this morning as I opened Scripture.  "Comfort!  Be comforted, my people", says God (Isaiah 40)  Tender, gentle words pour forth from the Living Word, "Speak to my people and tell her that her sins have been paid for!"  

Her sins have been paid for...  

"And every valley shall be raised up.  Every crooked place shall be made straight.  Every rough place shall be made smooth".

The crooked straight and the rough places plain.

Planned from the beginning, this babe---my sweet Jesus---was born into our crooked world.  He came on purpose, prophesied in Isaiah.  He took on our flesh and made His dwelling among us.  He walked our paths and felt our pain.

And, He will make all things new!  He is making all things new.  He is straightening our world.  He is straightening you.

He is making me straight.  Crooked-me is being straightened.  Low valley-Stephanie has been and is being raised up!  Rough-me is being smoothed.  ...by His hand.

In this I find deep comfort and hope--- just as He said I would in Isaiah 40.

Welcome to our world, Jesus!  Welcome to our broken and crooked world!

Advent Grief

One of the difficulties of living and working overseas is that bad news comes in the form of black-typed letters on a computer screen.

The email.  That dreaded, infamous email.

...news of a terminal illness, or a cancer found.  In "the inbox" these emails slide in quietly and sit, hidden like a landmine under the earth, ...just one click and bam! bad news on the screen.

But, yesterday the news felt even heavier to my soul than a disease, or even the terminal illness.  I heard news of sin.  From two separate corners of the globe came news of sin.

Sin in the camp.

This was not news of bad choices being made by unbelievers or the unredeemed,... no.  This is sin--- heavy and dark sin---found and revealed inside the fold.  Habitual sin that lingers and destroys...

Does it matter what the sin is?  Scripture tells us to "put to death whatever belongs to your earthly nature:  sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry".  He tell us to, "get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice".

The sins that destroy... anger, greed, lust, slander, impurity...

My heart sank at the news found in these emails.

Where do I go when I feel this way?  When I feel angry and frustrated with Your people, Lord?
My natural-Stephanie response to sin in myself  and in others is usually one of anger or frustration.  But, I need Your heart, Lord.

I lifted my hands and asked...  What is it that you feel, Father?  What say You?  
When You look on, when You draw near, how do You feel, Jesus?  What is Your heart on the matter, Spirit of God?  These questioning words flowed from my gut as I held my hands out and up to the Lord.

In that moment, that quiet moment in my bedroom, I felt deep, heart-wrenching sadness.  A wash of profound sadness flooded my soul.   Is this what You feel God Almighty? 


I can't presume to know God's feelings.  But, in that moment, did He share just a piece of His heart with me?  Waves of grief filled my soul at the thought of His children walking in sin---so unnecessarily bound and caught in the cycle of habitual sin.  It doesn't have to be this way.


Oh, Jesus!! my heart cried out as my eyes welled with tears.
Oh dear Jesus!  It is not as it should be.  Oh, my God, I am so sorry.  I grieve with you, you the Son of Man, the Man of sorrows---well acquainted with grief.  


Brothers, these things ought not be so!  He has freed us from sin by His blood and has made us a Kingdom of Priests, holy to Him!  
   
For days now I have been meditating on the anticipation and hope of advent.  Waiting with expectation, I have turned my heart up and out and I have worshiped.  I have tasted just a small bit of the joy and the hope that Simeon and Anna may have felt waiting for the consolation of Israel.

But, just like the first Christmas, there is still significant pain around the corner.  The thoughts of many hearts will be revealed and a sword will pierce you very own soul!  

For, the story does not end at the manger or the temple with Simeon's prophecy.   Nor does it end at the cross or tomb!  No, no...
This epic journey ends when Jesus comes the second time with King of Kings written on His thigh.  The end comes when all sadness is wiped away!  My Man of Sorrow will weep no more...

He will make all things new!  He will eat with His clean, white, pure Bride.  He will heal the nations and we will see His face.The story ends with the brilliant Second Advent!  I can wait patiently and hope in You alone, my God.  

Feeling the lingering sadness left by the coming news of sin... this is where I turn my heart and my face today!

And I say with John, "Amen! Come, Lord Jesus!"  (Revelation 22)

Rejoice, Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.  

Stand Up and Lift Your hands...

We are told that she remained in the temple, worshiping Almighty God day and night.  He was her everything, her all in all---her husband, her family, her God.

Painting by Gwen Meharg

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This beautiful Anna, the prophetess of the Lord.  (Luke 2:36-38)

Day and night she worshiped, prayed and fasted.

While worshiping, with Simeon and others devoted to God, she watched for the redemption of Israel, the advent of God's Holy One. 

The waited together.

Keep awake.  Stay alert, Stephanie.  God speaks to me, over and over again, through His word this week. (Mark 13)

Be dressed and ready and keep your lamps burning.  (Luke 12:35)

Keep your eyes looking up and out!  His Spirit whispers into my heart.

...when these things happen stand up, lift up your hands, because your redemption is near! (Luke 21:25)

Lift your eyes! Stand up and lift your hands, Stephanie.

These words are a sweet, tender invitation to relationship and to worship.  My head can drop sometimes.  Do your eyes drop down sometimes?

My eyes can be downcast--- looking at me, my little world, my friends, my circumstances, or even that other load of laundry.  But, NO!, He says with excitement in His voice...  look up and out!  Your redemption is near!  Very near.  

Stand up and lift up your hands!  

I, too, can worship while I wait.  This thought makes my heart excited with anticipation.

I can wait and worship, just like old-Anna.

"when he began his tasks and his daily duties, he said to God, with trust, 'O my God since You are with me and I must now in obedience to Your commands, apply my mind to these outward things, I ask You to grant me the grace to continue in Your Presence;  receive all my works [as worship] and possess all my affections." ~Brother Lawrence

How many days 'til...

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They count each and every day 'till Christmas.

My children love Christmas!!  They wake up waiting, counting, and anticipating the "arrival" of December 25th.

We are told of another person who was waiting for Christmas... counting the days, expecting, and hoping with excitement. 

Scripture tells us of Simeon, a devout and righteous man.  (Luke 2: 25)

He watched with anticipation.  He knew that he would see... and so he waited.

This man walked and talked with God.  He knew the Holy Spirit and His Presence.  He heard whispers and he felt nudges.  What must it have been for him to wait?  ...the Word tells us he was waiting for Israel's comfort and exhortation:  the consolation of Israel.   Isn't this the beauty of what Christ brought to earth--- both comfort and exhortation--- our consolation?

I imagine this is what Simeon woke up in the morning thinking about and what he walked around each day wondering upon.  He knew it would come--- of that he was very sure; but, when? ...When will it come, Almighty God?  When will You send the Messiah?   


Scripture tells us that Simeon was devout.  Devotion speaks to me of faithfulness and steadfast hope.  Waiting.  Watching.  Expecting.  (My children are devout in their Advent Calendar counting, too!!)

Scripture speaks of him being led by the Spirit to the temple that day.  What must it felt like to be led to the temple that day?  Can you just imagine him and his enthusiasm in making his way to the temple that morning?  Did he rush as he was getting dressed?  Did his feet move a bit faster on his walk to the temple that morning?

 How long had he waited?

And, then, when he saw Jesus!  What joy!  What relief!

...the one waited for...

...the anticipated one...

This is what advent is--  from the Latin word adventus, it means "the arrival, the approach".

We celebrate advent by waiting and anticipating "the arrival and approach of God", like Simeon.  We know He will come--- of that we are very sure!  But, when?  When will it come, Almighty God?  When will You send the Messiah?  

If we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently.  (Romans 8: 25)

We wait for the blessed hope, the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ (Titus 2)

This same Jesus will come back in the same way He has been taken into heaven.  (Acts 1)

This waiting... our advent waiting, is not only in anticipating the beauty and majesty of His Second Coming, but also in the day-to-day waiting of His today-coming.

"Every prayer-filled day sees a meeting with the God who comes; every night which we faithfully put at his disposal is full of his presence.  And his coming and his presence are not only a result of our waiting or a prize for our efforts; they are his decision, based on his love freely poured out.  His coming is bound to his promise, not our works or our virtue.  We have not earned the meeting with God because we have served him faithfully, or because we have heaped up such a pile of virtue as to shine before Heaven.  God is thrust onward by his love, not attracted by our beauty.  He comes in moment when we have done everything wrong, when we have done nothing...He comes."  ~Carlo Carretto

We wait for You, Lord Jesus!  I wait and watch for Your coming, your arrival, your approach... today.  Open my eyes to see You.  Make me Your today-Simeon.  


Come Thou Long-expected Jesus!  

I am sending Me.

I had to stop and read the verse a second time. No, three times through! Was it really saying what I thought it was saying? The third time through, I found myself quietly chuckling, laughter rising up, as I realized what I was reading!!?

In Zechariah 2, the Lord Almighty speaks through the prophet. God, Himself, says, '"Shout and be glad, O Daughter of Zion. For I am coming, and I will live among you," declares the Lord.'

The Lord Almighty tells the people that He is coming. He, the Lord Almighty, will live among them! What an amazing concept! Who would have ever predicted that?! And, it gets even better...

In verse 12, the Lord Almighty continues His words to the people, '"Many nations will be joined with the Lord in that day and will become my people. I will live among you and you will know that the Lord Almighty has sent me to you.'

Did you read that?

I just must write it again! My fingers must type these words a second time!

I will live among you (says the Lord Almighty) and you will know that the Lord Almighty has sent me to you"

What? The Lord Almighty sends the Lord Almighty to live among the people so that they might know the Lord Almighty!

Isn't this just a beautiful picture of the Trinity... or at least a clear picture of two parts of the God-head!! I was stunned. And, awed.

When Jesus came to earth, (and even today) many people were okay with him being a prophet. Many people were perfectly comfortable with him being the Messiah, in fact. But, very few ... very few... were okay with the idea that Jesus was God.

The fact that He claimed to be the Son of God was troubling to most. Then and now. But, from the beginning... from the Prophets to the angel's very words to Mary ... it was clear Who was coming. Jesus, that babe born in Bethlehem, was the Emmanuel of God! Mary was to give birth to the Savior, to God's Son. He was God in flesh.

Jesus was the fulfilment of Zechariah's prophecy, God's words, spoken over 500 years before the birth of Jesus.

Jesus was the Lord Almighty who was sent by the Lord Almighty so that I would know the Lord Almighty! Stop and read that again. Are you amazed with me?

Great Cloud of Character

Tonight we watched our every-Christmas-must-watch DVD, The Nativity.*

While watching and now as I sit thinking, I am struck by the character of Joseph. He had to be an incredibly strong man. God's choice of Joseph as Mary's husband was no accident. This dear man that God called to be father to Jesus must have been a man of deep faith, strong conviction and steadfast perseverance. Is this why he was chosen?

Mary had an angel visit her and still her road wasn't easy. But, Joseph listened to a dream. A dream. An angel appeared to him in a dream. Not just once, but twice. And both times the angel told him to do HUGE things... the first time to marry a pregnant girl in faith, and second to take this wife, this newborn baby and travel 200 or so miles to Egypt, fleeing in the night.

A dream. He believed and walked forward with faith ...all because of a dream.

Sometimes I am utterly amazed at the faith of these that walk the journey before me. The Abrahams, the Moseses, the Esthers, and the Joesphs... they amaze me. They didn't live in a time when the Spirit of God sealed, indwelt and strengthened. They didn't have the Holy Spirit within them to lead them into all truth. As far as I can see in Scripture, the Spirit came and went at very unique times. And, yet they believed.

I know we are fond of saying they were just ordinary people like me. And, I also know that we so clearly see their mistakes and sins on the pages of Scripture. But, tonight, I am amazed at these, my brothers and sisters, this great cloud of witnesses. And, I want to follow hard after these Marys, these Peters and these Pauls.

I am challenged by the faith of those I see in Scripture that faced death because of belief. I am stirred to awe by the faith of those who have gone before me who loved God more than life... more than wealth, sons, daughters or anything.

When faced with scorn, how do I respond? When faced with death, what would I do? When asked to bow down or be thrown to lions, what would my response be? I don' t know. I really don't know.

Even more challenging, though, is the "what ifs" that have me walk forward in faith. Not just the reactionary do-or-die situations. But, the dreams. The whispers of the Spirit. The visit of an angel.

Am I strong enough to listen to a God-given dream. Am I willing to struggle with neighbor, friend and family because "an angel appeared to me in a dream"? Am I willing to flee in the night, risk safety and health to run because "an angel appeared to me in a dream"?

As I write this, my heart cries out from my deepest parts, Yes! I want to love God that much, be attentive to his voice that much, ...I want to follow Him that faithfully.

Do this in me, dear Father! Make me the one you might choose... make my character strong, my faith secure and my perseverance like Yours.

______________

*For our family, this movie is too intense for my 11 and 8 year old children. In my opinion, this is a fabulous, encouraging, and deeply moving film for adults or older teens.

Mary's Sight

I can't imagine the scorn that Mary received when she became pregnant. It is a struggle to put myself in her place. I can hardly imagine the looks, the words, and the curses that were spoken over her when that bump in her midsection began to grow. What might it have been like for this young, unmarried 1st century Jewish girl?

What might it have been like for Mary? For Mary's family? For Joseph? It is hard to imagine.

I have often wondered how she endured the dishonour and hostility. I can struggle so significantly with the opinions of others. The affect of people's words and actions can be so powerful, for good and for bad. I wrestle regularly with caring entirely too much about what others say or think about me... and so, when I think of Mary, when I think of pregnant, teenage, un-wed Mary... I wonder how she coped.

I read Mary's song today and I prayed it through. As, I read and prayed, I was deeply struck by her statement early in the song (Luke 1:48) "From now on all generations will call me blessed".

She seems to be seeing far beyond her current situation. She seems to be rooted in a hope that stretches far beyond her "today".

Is this a sign as to how Mary coped and how she managed all the murmurs she might have heard? Was it that she simply saw with faith-filled eyes a time beyond?

I wondered if Mary's future-minded perspective was the foundation for her willingness to surrender and a rock for her perseverance. I imagine a God given ability to look ahead, to fix her eyes on thing unseen ---future generations---, which allowed Mary to walk steadily ahead. She rejoiced in her "circumstance". She praised God for her lot in life. It was truly "well with her soul".

Tonight I find myself challenged by Mary to look ahead and think about the truth of generations to come. I am encouraged by her faith to see her situation as a blessing. I am moved by her expectation, her hope, and her certainty that good would come. Tonight I long to worship my Father, Almighty God, just as Mary did. "My soul glorifies the Lord and my Spirit rejoices in God, my Savior!"

Drunken Hymns bring Hope

I went to a charity ball last night. Yesterday, all day long, I asked Jesus to go with me to the party. I asked Him to remind me of His presence and to be with me as I dressed, as I ate, as I talked and as I danced.

Gowns and jewels. Tuxedos and styled hair. Christmas lights and a tinselled tree. Dancing and dessert. This was an event!

The time came for the traditional "Carol singing" and my mind began to stagger. Could I join them in song? Could I sing out these deeply meaningful words, while surrounded by party mayhem?

As the singing commenced, I began to wonder...

What might Jesus think while He listens and watches words about His birth being sung with indifference? Almost unconscious movement of lips, ...apathetic reading of a words on a page, ... an all-too familiar tune plunked out on an old piano... What is it like for Him to watch?

What might He feel as words fall off drunken lips, Christmas hymns sung loudly and with brash undertones? What do these voices sound like to His ears? What might we look like as we mix our raffle tickets, beer bottles, "Jingle Bells" and "Little Town of Bethlehem".

What might Jesus think or feel as the room full of 'happy', well-dressed and overstuffed people sing about what those herald angles "harked" that momentous night? When they sing with gusto about that newborn King who bring God and sinners together, ...God and sinners reconciled!... what might my King be feeling?

I watched last night as this party of people, wild and tipsy, belted out the carols of Christmas. I watched and wondered. And, I asked Him what He might be feeling... And, I prayed.

His answer surprised me. And, my heart was filled with joyful prayer! With an odd sense of excitement and hope, I prayed that He would make Himself known to even just one heart that night. Would someone sing, "Silent night, Holy Night. Son of God, love's pure light" and think, even for one significant moment, about that Son of God? Or might one soul, even for one piercing minute, wonder about the Who that is Love! Might they wonder what kind of love it is that possesses and gives pure light?

Touch even one soul, Lord. Bring one moment of awakening, Lord!

Last night, I watched. I sang. And I prayed. And, I waited... knowing that I was asking something that was deeply on His heart.

Today I sing and I pray. I watch and I wait. What will He do, this faithful One, we sing about each Christmas? I wonder and I wait. Advent season at it's best!

Me, too, Bethlehem

Insignificant. Insignificant was the word he used to describe this little village, this little town in the hills of Judah. My heart soared the moment that he spoke the words... "the insignificant town of Bethlehem" From deep within, with tears welling, came my immediate response... "Me, too, Bethlehem!"

The minister said it was characteristic of how God worked. I know. Me, too, Bethlehem. He rarely chooses the most powerful people or the most beautiful places to use when He is working. Sometimes He does, but rarely. Rarely does God choose to invade the lives of the prominent, the wise and the gorgeous. More often He chooses the insignificant, the deaf, the dumb and the ugly. I know. Me, too, Bethlehem.

Insignificant was the town of Bethlehem when David, Israel's king, was born there. Still insignificant this little hill country town was when Jesus spent His first night on earth there. But, God chose it... visited it... and used it. Now Bethlehem is know across the nations and preached about among the unreached of the world. Bethlehem is part of that wonderful story. Bethlehem is famous now. Bethlehem is spoken of, sung about and visited often. Bethlehem is profoundly significant now.

Something insignificant becoming significant by God. I know. Me, too, Bethlehem.

Insignificant was this little girl. Small, quiet and unnoticed by most. Stephanie, unknown and unimportant. Sad and lonely was this little teenage girl that the Lord chose those many years ago... He visited... and is now using. Now she is profoundly significant... a dearly loved child of the Almighty King, a daughter, a saint, a servant of the Most High God.

Something insignificant becoming significant because of God.

Me, too, Bethlehem.

Unexpected Path, Unexpecting Town

Oh Little Town of Bethlehem, how still we see thee lie...

They missed His coming.

The whole town of Bethlehem missed His coming. They weren't waiting for Him. Those that were waiting thought His coming would look so very different than it did. They slept through the whole thing! God does this. He uses unexpected paths and ways that surprise. He uses odd or different means to accomplish His end.

Reading in Psalm 77, I am struck by these different means. "Your road led through the sea, your pathway through the waters---a pathway no one knew was there!" (v. 19 NLT). His roads, His ways, His direction ...was through the water. The Hebrew words in this verse speak of an inconceivable and unknown way. Steps that are unknown. His footsteps were not perceivable. His steps were unknown. His path was unexpected and not knowable. He led them through the water, for crying out loud!!! Through water... Certainly this was a pathway that no one knew was there! He used this unexpected path.

How silently, how silently, the wondrous gift is given...

He came to earth as a baby. Silently, He slipped in. An unexpected path. ...footsteps unknown. A way they could not see. Quietly He made His entrance.... announcing His arrival to only a few shepherds. His arrival was discerned and perceived by only a few. He came to His own, but they knew him not. They did not recognize Him. They did not perceive, expect or detect His coming. They missed Him.

O come to us, abide in us, Our Lord Emmanuel!

The deeply sad thing is that while the people of Bethlehem missed His coming, they suffered greatly because of it. Herod killed their children because of Christ's coming. Actually, Herod killed their little ones because of a star (another unexpected path!)---and the testimony of a few foreigners. Herod's soldiers killed their baby boys in His desperate effort to stamp out the coming of this King.

The families in Bethlehem lost their baby boys and yet missed the opportunity to worship the Messiah that would rescue them from this hateful, sinful, and messed up world. They missed the abiding blessings of seeing the Chosen One that may have helped, even if just a little, to handle the grief and loss that came upon this silent, sleepy town. They missed the abiding of Emmanuel... the hope it may have brought their distraught and grieving hearts.

God uses unexpected paths and hard-to-understand ways. May we not miss Him! May I not miss Him and take the opportunity to worship this Messiah. May I not miss the blessing of bowing down to a King that will rescue me from this sinful, wretched world! May I not miss God's unexpected ways. May I follow Him through the waters, through His odd and strange paths... like a sheep following a good, kind Shepherd. (Ps. 77:20)

No ear may hear his coming, but in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive him, still
The dear Christ enters in.

Oh Holy Child of Bethlehem,
Descend on us we pray!
Cast out our sin and enter in,
Be born in us today!

Fit for a King

A gift fit for a king.

We were handed a scrap piece of paper and a pen. The assignment given was to write down one item we would be willing to give. We were to write it and place the paper into the gift box as a present for Jesus. This item was to be important to us, of high value. This item was to be a gift fit for a king, fit for the King, to be exact. We had just read and discussed the story of the Magi. They had searched and searched. They had come prepared expecting to find the King and to give Him gifts of great worth. They worshipped and gave Him valuable gifts.

As we sang Christmas songs, each one in the room took time to think a moment. At differing speeds, hands began to scribble on the scrap. We weren't being asked to "really" give this item away; but, we were asked to think of it as if it were real. What would you bring to this King as you bowed before him in worship?

Midway through the second song, my 7 year old son motioned quietly for my attention. When I caught his eye, he held up his piece of paper to show me what he had written. He was careful to show only me. In clear writing was one word. It said "Rocky". My heart was filled and a smile was instant. Rocky. My son wanted to give Jesus his Rocky.

Sweet Rocky is a raccoon that has gone everywhere with us. He is a very well loved stuffed toy that has seen his better day--- too much love, I think! This dear toy has traveled on many airplanes, taxis and trains. He has slept with my son in the many, many beds. He has ventured from country to country and from State to State. Rocky the raccoon has been lost and he has been searched for ...and Rocky has been found. This animal has been with my son through most of his life and he truly loves Rocky. Rocky is highly valued.

In bold letters his paper said "Rocky".

I was moved by my son's surrender of this deeply loved friend. My heart was full and my eyes as well. I believe that the Lord smiled tonight. I believe that my Father in heaven was moved and singing over this beautiful gift. I believe that His heart filled and He was truly worshipped with this act of simple scribble on a piece of paper. I believe that Jesus would see this as fit for Him, the King.

Rocky the raccoon, a gift fit for the King.