Sabbatical Reflections: Words on a Page #31 Tree Symphony

 Tree Symphony

Sounds like rolling laughter

The trees shout and rejoice.

They dance and sing, 

wild movements inspired

by wind and worship.

One high note rings, 

One low bass resounds.

The symphony of celebration

surrounds and engulfs.

Enchanted and uplifted,

I raise my voice.

I lift my hands.

I join the song and the dance! 

"Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them;

Let all the trees of the forest sing for joy! Let all creation rejoice!"

Psalms 96:12

Written October 2020

Sabbatical Reflections: Words on a Page #8 The Moon Again

 

The Moon Again

I watch for you each evening. 

Waiting and wondering.

Like a child longing for dessert,

When is dinner time over?  

How many peas must I eat first?

I anticipate. 

I wonder and wait...

when will the dark become 

dark enough!

Enough to reveal your glory.

Each night I see a different sight

A new shade and perspective. 

Light reflected, revealed, radiating. 

Or tonight... covered, shroud, hidden. 

Yesterday's dusk brought deep, dark clouds 

Across my vista, shadows swept thick with movement

Dense with a heaviness that slowed their race overhead.

Each step they took across the sky laboured.

I waited.  I watched. 

Wondering if I would see you when these dark ones parted.

As the clouds trudged through the murk of the evening sky

I wanted...

Willing just one glimpse... 

One quick view of your face. 

For I knew you were there.  

Even if hidden.

You are always there.

Positioned there long ago, 

you remain.  

Not yet shaken, always firm in place.  

I know you are there.

Now, I watch for you every evening.   

Written June 2020

...reminds me of this post from March 2012

Over Me

I took this photo a few weeks ago.  I know it is horrible quality.  That is what you get when A) You are me taking most pictures and B)When the picture is taken with movement, low light, and on a cell phone...  but,  I couldn't help myself.

I just had to post it--- because, this picture has been beautifully hovering around my prayers lately.   And, not just the picture... but the true, real, beautiful moment that this poor picture captured.  This tender wedding scene, which I was privileged to witness, has been informing my walk with God.

As the music played gently, this groom danced slowly with his new bride.  He and she were utterly enraptured.  They danced this way through most of the song.  ...this sight speaks of deeper things.

Look at the picture again and imagine the scene.  Then look at the picture with THIS verse in mind...  "As the groom rejoices over his bride, so shall your God rejoice over you" Isaiah 62:5.

So shall God rejoice over you...  

I will sit with this amazing truth for another quiet moment.  I will take a minute to breathe-in this reality again today.  How does God view me?  His church?  ...you?

So shall God rejoice over you!

God's Status Update

photo source

Today Facebook asked me to "describe who you are".

Apparently this is a new feature Facebook added recently. (or, am I just totally behind the times...equally possible!)  Anyway,  I am asked to answer this weighty question by filling in a tiny square at the top of my page ...in 101 characters or less.

I sat a while and wondered what is most important. Who am I? What shall I say here to sum-up Stephanie ... in 15 words.  Where do I start?  Funny, these thing.

As I sat down to read in Exodus 34 this morning, I saw God's answer--- I saw His "describe who you are" post.  Succinct and to the point, (although, I am not sure He hit the 101 character limit) He tells us what is most important.  He tells us who He is.  

Who are you, God?  

"I AM compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet I do not leave the guilty unpunished.” (Exodus 34:6)

There are many words I could use to describe God.  If it were me filling in God's "describe who you are" box, what might I write?  Where do I begin?  Strong, Wise, Powerful, Eternal, Kind, Right, Holy,...

These are all true about Him, to be sure.  But, when He describes Himself in this instance... He chooses to start with compassion.

Some translations use the word mercy.  Either way, I am so deeply grateful that He starts with mercy!  He begins His description with compassion and grace.  Abounding love and faithfulness.

What a beautiful picture!  In these words, God Almighty reveals an incredible truth to Moses---and to me.  God's foundation, His very core ...the very center of "who He is" is compassion, grace, patience, love, faithfulness, forgiveness and justice. These are the words He chooses to use to describe Himself--- to reveal Himself.

Oh! How I want to know this God more!

Now that I have God's "describe who you are" section.  I wonder how He might fill in "where you work" or "what's on your mind"?  What would God's Facebook status be today?

I Can Only Imagine

There are just those moments in life when words fail to describe experience.  The feeling is so full, that words feel less-than.  I had one of those moments this week.  

I had the privilege to see Monet's Water Lillies at L'Orangerie.  I know.  The privilege, I promise, does not escape me! 

Photo source

I can hardly touch or grab words to describe how I felt the very moment when I entered the rooms that house these Water Lilly paintings.  I was not expecting it.  The feeling came upon me like a torrent.  Overwhelmed.  Awe.  Euphoria.  ...all I can say is that I just wanted to cry. With no sadness, only fullness and joy, tears came and welled through my very being.  

I was encountering beauty.  Pure beauty.  And, it was awesome.  Truly awesome.  
Purity and beauty entwined in fullness.  A surrounding.  A wrapping.  

Claude Monet not only spent 30 years of his life painting these scenes (take that in for a minute---30 years!); but, he also had the opportunity to design the rooms they would be displayed.  He created his lily garden with a painters eye... he painted these scenes for 30 years and then he designed the room they would be housed.  He was Creator from beginning to end...  

And it is awesome to behold.  Glorious. 

How often I forget that I, too, have been created in such a manner!   Created with such care.  

You, too.  

Him and her.  You and I and  ...every single soul around...  has been formed in our mother's womb.  We have been knit together and God is working out His good plans to form us into His likeness. 

He planned us.  He thought of us.  He is painting us.  He has housed us on display.  He has made us and IS making us glorious and awesome.  

But of course, we know... Monet is just a man.  Monet was only painting and giving us an impression of real things.  Every day.  Real things.  

Water.  Lilies. Trees. Light.  Color. Texture.  And, obviously, Monet is not the Creator of these things!  He who is the Creator of all--- the Maker of water, lilies, trees, light and you.  

I want to see more, Lord. 

What if I didn't take for granted the privilege of seeing Eunice at Church or Marie, the checker, at the grocery store?  What if I looked on with eyes of wonder and awe... these every day things.  Sam.  Becka.  Dave.  Olwen.  Ellen.  ...water.  lilies.  light. color and texture.  

In Awe....

Give me eyes to see more, Lord.  When I walk into church on Sunday, when I walk into the grocery store, or into my bedroom and see my reflection in the mirror.  Open my eyes to see the masterpiece you are working on, the vision of beauty and glory that You wish to display.  

For we are God's masterpiece.  (Ephesians 2:10)  I am His painting.  You are His painting!  Awesome. Glorious. Purity and beauty intertwined.  Woven.  Being made. On display...  

Can I see the Master's vision for her? Or, for you?   His vision for me?   He is making us glorious!  

I can only imagine.  



...it doesn't escape me that in my last post God was whispering "the glory of man is like a flower which shrivels in the sun and then gone".   In this post He is singing... You are glorious. Is it two sides of the same coin? ...pondering and praying here.  

How I Wish I Had Gold!

photo source

I received an early Christmas gift last week and it was a massive surprise.  Extravagant and unexpected, this gift shocked me when I saw it.   My kids now fondly call this gift "The 'Oh my goodness!'" Apparently, that is what I said over and over again when I saw it.  I was so surprised!  Those were the words that came out...  "Oh my goodness!... Oh! my goodness! ... Oh! my goodness!"

In reality, these were hardly words and mostly just raw emotion.  I was overwhelmed.  I was so thankful.

Tonight as we were singing some familiar Christmas carols, I was struck with a line in one of the songs... "so bring Him incense, gold and myrrh, come peasant, king to own Him"  (from What Child is This?).  As I sang these words, I had this unexpected, deep, almost-groaning-desire well up within me and my soul whispered a prayer...  Oh! Jesus, if only I had gold.  

Oh! Jesus if only I had gold.  I would lay it down.  I would lay it at your feet.  

I was overwhelmed tonight with the thought of This extravagant gift.  Jesus.  "a son given"  (Isaiah 9:6)

Jesus.  Given.  And, my heart was washed with a sense of awe and an "Oh! my goodness!" that was beyond words.

What can I lay down tonight in response to This Amazing Gift--- Jesus, my brother?  My friend.  My loving and grace-filled Savior.  My redeemer.  My everything!  How can I say thank you?   Words fail me.

I could lay down this extravagant Christmas gift given to me last week.  Yes! Absolutely, in a heart beat.  I lay it down.  But, really, it would be just pittance.  Pittance.

What can I lay down, Lord Jesus?  I will bring it...  I will lay it at your feet!

What is my gold?  What is my incense and my myrrh?

There is only a deep, welling desire to worship.

Oh how I wish I had gold!

"Haste! Haste to bring Him laud..."  

What do you see?

photo source

Sometimes it is simply a matter of how you look at it.

What is it I see and of what do I make note?

Today, I can look out the window and notice that the hydrangea plant isn't flowering much and isn't getting very full.  It seems to still be more green than red--will it ever be full of color?

Or, I can look at that same hydrangea plant and remark on the radiant deep red that colors the top half of the bush.   I can note how the colors combine and compliment each other reminding me that Christmas is coming---red and green!  It is simply a matter of how I see.

I can notice and complain about how the hydrangea bush seems to be growing at an odd and awkward angle ...  or, instead, I can declare the remarkable way it is growing outward and upward, stretching and straining toward the afternoon sun!  This plant will do anything, even a strange crick of it's neck, to drink in the sunlight.

What do I see when I look at that same-said plant?

Day-in-and-day-out we all have a choice.   I have the choice today.

I was exercising this morning to a work-out video.  In the video, the instructor says, "If you can do any of this work-out, you have reason to praise God!"  I was so deeply struck with her perspective.  In that moment, I was frustrated that I couldn't do this-and-that... that my stamina was so limited.  She was looking at the same-said workout with a different lens.  She reminded me that I have reason to praise God!  I can move and jump and all my limbs work today!  I can exercise.  And, that, in-and-of-itself, is reason to worship.

What will I see today?

Will I note those things that are undone?  Or can I notice and rejoice in those things that have been accomplished...

Will I note the lack of faith or the worry in my heart, or enter into those moments when I feel close and experience trust?

Sometimes it is just a matter of how I choose to look at it.

I want to see the deep red of the hydrangea and rejoice as it lifts it's head toward the light. I want to be thankful for breath in my lungs, feet that work and faith that resides deep in my heart.  I want to be watchful and aware today and see, in wonder, all the good and perfect gifts from God, my Father.   Give me eyes to see, Father.  


**funny postscript.  Just after writing and posting this blog, I walked into the school room with my son's corrected math homework. As I handed it to him, he asked, "How many did I get wrong?".  Son, I said, don't ask how many you got wrong... ask me, "How many did I get right!?"  He laughed at me and asked again, "Mom, how many did I get wrong?"
...we all have a choice.  Day in and day out.  How many things will I see aright today?  

Me...Holy of Holies

photo source

The Holy Spirit... where does He live?

More to the point, where does He live in me?  In you?  Where does He dwell?  Is He in your fingers?  Your heart?  Your gut?  Do you know the feeling of Him in you?

We are told that we are His temple and with faith in Jesus comes the indwelling of His Spirit within in us!  (Romans 8:11, 2 Timothy 1:14, 1 Corinthians 3:16) This is amazing.  Truly amazing.  We, our very bodies, become the "holy of holies"---the house of God.

Do you know what He feels like in you?  Are you aware of His Almighty, Holy Presence there in your inmost being?

I'm not.  Or, at least, not very often.  I am learning.  Teach me awareness, Father. Lead me into Truth, Holy Spirit.  

I have been reading a challenging little book called, Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ by Jeanne Guyon.  She suggests that much time is lost in our Christian experience by seeking God "outside" ourselves.  We are looking for Him in our world and somewhere outside ourselves.  Of course, He does dwell in the world and in the heavens.  All heaven and earth are His!  ...But, He is much closer than that.

He dwells within.  He lives in us, through us, filling us.  He lives in me.  He lives in you.  This is the "eternal life in Him" and the being "born of the Spirit" that Jesus is offering Nicodemus during that dark night-time conversation.  (John 3:1-20)

Guyon suggests that worship begins with adoration and the beholding of His Presence within you.  She offers a simple way of turning your gaze inward---not toward yourself, but---toward the One who lives within you. Worship can be a simple loving gaze at the Holy Spirit dwelling inside.

I have always loved the concept of God being my refuge, my rock and my fortress.  This thought has been a comfort since my early days of faith.  But, now, I am realizing that that refuge that I always mentally pictured as slightly outside of myself---a place I run to; is, in fact, a refuge and a rock within my very spirit.

In me.  He is building a fortress of strength, a rock of His love, a foundation and a refuge that is within.  I don't have to run anywhere... I only have to acknowledge and turn my gaze inward.

Where does God live in me?  I don't exactly know.  But, I do know He lives and I know that He lives in me.  I want to learn to behold Him there and listen to His leading.   Teach me, Father, to know Your Presence and Your indwelling Spirit within my heart and my very body!  I am yours... possess me entirely, Holy Father.  

Whispers of Spring

photo source

They always surprise me.

These deep green shoots sprouting up out of grey and death.  My yard---one day empty and void of life.  The next moment they appear, whispering hope.  They remind me that it will not always be dreary or dark.  It will not always be grey and winter.  Spring time will come.

I somehow forget, when the winter months are here, that deep within the soil of my garden there are bulbs that will push through.  Beautiful, brightly colored tulips and daffodils lie dormant... quietly waiting to spring-out and shine forth radiance.  Spring after Spring they surprise me!

In a few weeks time, we will see these tulips displayed.  At the end of these lively green shoots---which press hard against the rot, the dead leaves, and the cold soil---there will be beauty.  Heads held high they will rise up in worship and proclaim that winter is done!  Indeed with their color and their stance they will shout "life"!

photo source

What are the wonderful things that God has planted deep within me that will push through this coming Spring?  What has He planted in you through the years?

Stirred in me today is a hope of things to come.  ...the love, the joy, the patience, the kindness, the gentleness...  these seeds planted through pain of winter-months-past.  What will Springtime bring in my life, I wonder.

I see deep green shoots of hope pushing through my soul.  I see moments of laughter and joy that come more naturally.  Trust that is found more quickly.  I see patience that surprises me!  These "flowers" are the budding life of God's Spirit living and working within my heart...

He is at work.  He is faithful.  He will keep working.  And, birthing.  And, watering.  And, growing.  And, leading.  And, teaching.  And, He will produce good fruit in my life.  I can trust Him.

Even if, indeed, it will always surprise me!

Sometimes it is just a bit dark...

photo source

It was dark this morning.  And it felt cold.  I felt cold.

Sometimes morning just brings haze.  And, darkness.  I don't know why...

I woke up this morning to the dark.  Literally and emotionally.

Dark and cold, inside and out,  I dragged myself out of bed... awake, but desperate for my cup of coffee.

Coffee in hand, I plopped hard into my quiet time chair. Wordless feelings just sat with me in the morning gloom.  I just feel yuck...  and cold hearted.  And, tired.

As my mind lingered in that hazy space, I mechanically picked up one of my devotional books.  I guess I'll start here...  

Half heartedly, I began to read a verse in my book:  "Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you...  to rejoice in Your name all day long."  (Psalm 89:15)

...to rejoice in Your name...

Rejoice in My name...    

The words seemed to come alive just a bit, dancing to-and-fro from the page into my mind.  With slight hope  and the face-of-my heart upturned slightly, I thought... Okay... yes! this is where I will start today.

I began to write in my journal...

I simply wrote Truth.  In that moment, I made a choice to rejoice in His name, to acclaim Him.   Do you ever just have to choose Light?

Father, you are Almighty.  You are the Alpha and Omega.  You have always been and You will always be.  You are beautiful and majestic.  All You do is good...  

On and on I wrote... filling the page with Truth.

By the second or third sentence, although the physical darkness of the morning was still heavy, the haze over my heart had lifted and the darkness had faded.

I was made to worship.  Worship was my pathway back to joy this morning.    Praise was a light for my darkened mind.  Happy is he that has learned to acclaim You, to rejoice in Your name all day long!

I am learning.  Father, please keep teaching me, leading me, lighting my way!

What Light can do!

photo source

It was just a moment in time.  The beauty left as quickly as it came.   And, I saw it!!

As I began my walk yesterday morning,  the sun was rising quietly behind a blanket of dark clouds. The grey-covered sunrise, brought shadowed light to the town I live.  It was morning indeed, but it was a dark morning.  But, as I climbed the stile leading into the field by my home, the sun's strength suddenly burst forth in radiant splendor.  Blasting through an opening in the sky it shown with dazzling beauty over the fields and my town.  There was an instant, spectacular glow that is hard to describe with words.

From darkness to light in one instant!

When I saw it, all that came to my mind was, "Oh, Lord, what light can do!!"  The grass was a prettier green color than I remember ever seeing it!  Every field marked out by hedge rows was lit and on display.  I could see everything for miles.  Gold and orange light transformed the morning in an instant.

In that moment, I worshiped my God and asked Him to display His light in me with such brilliance 

And, then... as quickly as it came... it was gone.  It was just a moment in time.  What light can do!!

The remainder of my walk was a dialogue with my Father in Heaven.  What clouds---thoughts, actions, beliefs--- block out Your light in my life?  What are the dark things that hinder You shining in and through me--- making me more beautiful with Your Light.  Teach me, Father.  Lead me forward in Truth, Holy Spirit.  

He tells us that through our relationship with Jesus, we are transferred from the Kingdom of Darkness into the Kingdom of Light.  His Light is ours for the taking!  We are, in fact, children of Light.  But, He also warns us that we need to walk in that Light!  ...we can, indeed, grieve and cover and hinder that Light from shining in us and through us.

Are there certain thoughts and ways in your life that might be hindering His Light in you?

When I let certain lies, certain attitudes, and certain actions in to my life... the beauty can leave as quickly as it can come.   I just need to see it!

Give me eyes to see it!  Give me an awareness of heart, Lord Jesus!  

His enough is enough

photo source

I read the news.  I hear the stories from a friend.  I read that email.  I hear about this conversation.  And, see that picture.  I wonder after his health, her heart, his marriage, her walk with the Lord.  And, my heart can become heavy---filled with concern.

...In this world pain, sin, sickness and sorrow swirl around and within.  With uncertainty and ambiguity as normative, I need to be reminded of Truth... regularly.  And, I love tools that help remind me.

A while back, I started to  "require" myself to sit down periodically throughout the day... to sit, to be still and to worship.  I have it on my "to do" list (isn't that a bit silly?)  I put it there to "check off" each day--- did I sit and worship today?  Did I stop and find the quiet today?  I attempt this most days and it has become a sweet rhythm-of-quiet to a full, and sometimes, loud life.

One tool I have been using during one of my daily "sits" has been the beautiful worship moments created by Pray as You Go.org...  you really must visit and have a listen.

Today, the song used leading into worship was Bach's Cantada 82.  The words sung are "Ich habe genug"... Translated:  I have enough.

I have enough.  My cup runs over...  

Taken from the story of Simeon in the gospel of Luke, the words of this Canatada speak of a soul that is at rest in God.  They remind us that in Him we have enough.  He is our enough.  When we have taken Jesus within and walk in His love, we have enough.

Enough.

Each day the struggle begins with the feelings of "not enough".  Do you ever feel it?!

 ...not enough sleep.  ...not enough time.  ...not enough energy.  ....not enough strength or not enough faith or fun or clothes.  ..."not enough" is the continual cry of our day.   "Not enough" is the mantra and the music that plays amidst the pain and sorrow and busyness of our world.  But, it isn't Truth.  

Today, I am reminded of Truth.  He is enough.  The Lord is my shepherd and I have all I need.  All that I need.  I have enough.  My eyes are lifted, my heart is resting.  

Bach's Cantada 82:
I have enough,
I have taken the Savior, the hope of the righteous,
into my eager arms;
I have enough!

I have beheld Him,
my faith has pressed Jesus to my heart;
now I wish, even today with joy to depart from here.

I have enough
My comfort is this alone,
that Jesus might be mine and I His own.
In faith I hold Him,
there I see, along with Simeon,
already the joy of the other life.

I have enough.

Stand Up and Lift Your hands...

We are told that she remained in the temple, worshiping Almighty God day and night.  He was her everything, her all in all---her husband, her family, her God.

Painting by Gwen Meharg

 Photo Source

This beautiful Anna, the prophetess of the Lord.  (Luke 2:36-38)

Day and night she worshiped, prayed and fasted.

While worshiping, with Simeon and others devoted to God, she watched for the redemption of Israel, the advent of God's Holy One. 

The waited together.

Keep awake.  Stay alert, Stephanie.  God speaks to me, over and over again, through His word this week. (Mark 13)

Be dressed and ready and keep your lamps burning.  (Luke 12:35)

Keep your eyes looking up and out!  His Spirit whispers into my heart.

...when these things happen stand up, lift up your hands, because your redemption is near! (Luke 21:25)

Lift your eyes! Stand up and lift your hands, Stephanie.

These words are a sweet, tender invitation to relationship and to worship.  My head can drop sometimes.  Do your eyes drop down sometimes?

My eyes can be downcast--- looking at me, my little world, my friends, my circumstances, or even that other load of laundry.  But, NO!, He says with excitement in His voice...  look up and out!  Your redemption is near!  Very near.  

Stand up and lift up your hands!  

I, too, can worship while I wait.  This thought makes my heart excited with anticipation.

I can wait and worship, just like old-Anna.

"when he began his tasks and his daily duties, he said to God, with trust, 'O my God since You are with me and I must now in obedience to Your commands, apply my mind to these outward things, I ask You to grant me the grace to continue in Your Presence;  receive all my works [as worship] and possess all my affections." ~Brother Lawrence

Paint Me Pink

Walking out my front door, the dark grey clouds spit small rain drops on my face.
  
Here we go, Lord, my heart prayed... another walk together in the rain!  
  
Briskly crossing muddy fields, the grey clouds shifted and lit up in the morning's dawn.   Still grey... but not so very dark any more!  To my left, the sun rose slowly, deep reds and orange sang out, announcing his waking.  Beauty... just simple colored beauty... opened my heart to the Lord this morning.
  
In an instant the color spread and the grey, spitting clouds were painted a light, bright pink.  Awe filled my mind, as I watched in wonder the beautiful pink that covers the grey.  In my heart swelled the words,
Look at what the sun can do!

photo source

   
And a prayer issued forth from my heart, Lord, paint me pink today!
  
Paint me pink!  This grey Stephanie... paint her pink with the splash of Your color, Your Light, Your beauty!  
  
As I prayed, I was reminded of words found in Scripture this morning, tucked away in I Corinthians 15:
  
"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect".  His grace has it's grand effect! ...paint me pink, Lord
  
I am what I am by His grace alone!  His grace to me, every day, paints me pink.  His love over me, His light, His righteousness paints me beautiful.  Grey Stephanie, deserving nothing in her own right, was plucked out of the rubbish heap of sin and made beautiful, colored pink with His light and His righteousness.
  
And, as I walked on,  I prayed words we have been working to memorize in home school this last week:  "Father, may I grow in the knowledge of You with all wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives.  May I live a life worthy of You and please You in every way!"
  
I want to please You in every way!  May I live in the Truth that I am loved, chosen, found, and splattered pink... today!  

Cold Heart Warmed

I woke up this morning feeling cold.  Not physically cold, but emotionally and spiritually cold.

I put on my slippers and poured my coffee... hoping one of those would warm me.  They didn't.  

I sat in my quiet, small place---my chair--- and covered my lap with the blanket.  Would that warm my heart?  It didn't.  And, I read God's word.  My heart cold.  Blah.  

Lord, where are you today?  Where am I... was probably a better question.  

Cold and dark... like the morning, I woke up and couldn't be stirred to warmth.  

In those moments, I must rely on what I know to be True.  In these cold moments there is very little heart.

I know Father God invites me, commands me, to love Him with all that I am; my mind, my heart and my soul.  But, in the cold moments I must love Him with my head... and wait.  

Believe and wait on the Lord, Stephanie.  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.  

Rising from my chair, I methodically put on my walking boots, slung on my warm heavy coat, and placed the hat on my head.  Worship music in my right ear and my dog's leash in my left had, I walked into the chill of the morning air.  

Song after worship song spoke truth into my mind... and no heart response.  ...just words in my ear.  

Beauty all around me, sun rising... pink clouds, green trees with beautiful dying orange-leaved friends next door...  and yet, no heart response 

I believe Lord, help me with my unbelief!   Tears now began to well up, to brim, and form in my eyes... frustration with my cold heart.  

Keep walking on, keep looking up.  Keep waiting...  He will draw near.

Finishing my walk, on the homestretch, I heard the words to a familiar song.  Was it song #5 or #6 this morning?... I don't know, the songs had just played into my ear.  Cold words.  But in an instant something changed.  These words spoke near.  Nearness.  He spoke something deep into my heart.    

"Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning..." 

I was watching this sun rise, His sun rise...  and with these words, my heart was stirred.   ...there was movement in my soul.    In that moment, I knew--- more than in my head--- that my Redeemer is Alive!

The Truth I had been trusting with my mind was the same; firm and unchanging... Nothing had changed about Who God was, Where He was, or what is True about Him!!  But, the coldness, in that instant melted with a moment of worship!

In the cold of the morning, I was warmed.   

Worship Through Tears and a List

photo source

She wept in my arms today.  My 12 year old daughter.  My girl.  And, I cried with her.

While curled into my embrace, she cried for the lost.  She wept for those she loves who don't know her Lord.  She spoke out her heart to God, in a loud voice, "I just want them to know!  They are missing out!  Why won't they believe?!"  Through tears her words poured forth...

These hot tears and loud voice were a moment of worship.  It was a holy moment.  A moment of intercession.  ...a deeply painful one, to be sure.  Painful for her, for me and for God.  But, it was worship.  And, I believe she cried some of God's tears today.

When we hold up our hands to God Almighty, we can worship with dance and laughter, smiles and joy  And, we can worship Him with righteous anger, deep sorrow, surrender and sadness.   Today I saw this in my daughter.

I join the worship tonight, as I type out just a few blessings...  counting sweet blessings of grace... that He has poured out in my life this week.  And, I join others at www.aholyexperience.com holding up my hands and offering my worship with gratitude.

Counting 1,000 gifts of grace:

#962.  A rainy walk with my son.

963.  A friend initiates time with me.

964.  Giggles...

968.  My man gets to go---and I already miss him.

969.  Forgiveness given that was hard to give.

976.  Laying on the grass together.

978.  She talks, animated with her hair blowing in the wind.  I love listening to her.

979.  Tears for the lost shed in worship and intercession.

Those who sow with tears, will read with songs of joy.  Those who go out weeping, carrying seeds to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them. Psalm 126:5-6

Join the "Hymn" of Thanksgiving

photo source

For home school this morning we read from Then Sings My Soul by Robert Morgan:  a beautiful book that shares the stories of 150 classic hymns:

  "An old English preacher once said, "A grateful mind is a great mind," and the Bible agrees.  There are 138 passages of Scripture on the subject of thanksgiving...  Colossians 3:17 says:  And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him"  I Thessalonians 5:18 adds, "In everything give thanks, this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.'" (p. 17)

We read about a hymn of thanksgiving written in the midst of the most dire circumstances.  Poverty, sickness, and death surrounded the writer of "Now Thank We All Our God"   ...the man who wrote this hymn was certainly practicing Paul's command to "Rejoice always!"

Today, I join others in a "hymn of thanksgiving" at www.aholyexperience.com.  Joining Ann Voskamp and others, I continue counting, on my way to logging 1,000 gifts of love and grace from God.  For, I agree, a grateful mind is a great mind."  I want my mind to be great with gratitude!

Here is a portion of my list from this last week:

#945.  A good, healthy "fight" with my husband.  Good resolution, healthy conflict, forgiveness...  connection and closeness.  Understanding.

946.  Freedom to sleep in on Saturday!

947.  Helpful customer service.

948.  Hair products as a testimony of Father's kind love to a friend.

950.  "Yes, Mommy!"  said with joy and obedience.

951.  Wind that howls outside.

952.  That good ol "cried wolf" story told by Daddy to make a point.

953.  Evening walk with my family.

954.  Berries off the bushes for dessert.

955.  Silly (stupid) movies that harmless and funny.

956.  Classic literature that moves me.

959.  Leaving dishes in the sink with joy and freedom.  They don't scream at me as loudly!

960.  Plans made with friends.

961.  Beautiful, handmade birthday cards made for Grandma.

961.  A rainy walk with my son and then a close cuddle on the couch to warm up with a book.

Something Heavenly

Do you ever look at the news, or hear the voice on the phone, or watch someone's behavior, or read the email and just wonder if He really is hearing your prayers?  Is He really at work?!

Yesterday, I walked and prayed.  ...and a niggling doubt lingered.  Does this really matter?  Do you hear me, Lord?

I do wonder sometimes.  Is He working in this world?  Inside of me...  In others...

Sometimes I wonder and sometimes I forget.  But, today, He has reminded me again!  Yes, Stephanie, I am at work!  

He is at work... And, I am reminded that whatever God does is big!  ...and good.  ..and important.  From the small minute details of life to the partings of those Red Seas... whatever He does is Divine and Big.

In your life and in mine.

So, I shoo away that niggiling thought and say, I trust You Lord.  Today.   Because my Father is always at work and whatever He does is big!

My job is to "Trust the Lord and do good" (Psalm 37)  My job is to respond and rest in His love and His plans.  My job is to surrender and open my hands.  It is my job to "give in" and allow His work.  It is my job to look, listen and ask.  It is my job to do what He wants and to work with Him and for Him, in this world...  in others...  INSIDE of me!

Friends, we are just this side of heaven.  And, something is happening in you and in our world that is larger than life... something heavenly, something Divine!  

Gray Skies... gray mood

The weather this week has been magical. So warm. So sunny! Then, the sun left yesterday in the snap of a finger. One moment passed and it was gone.

I watched it happen. Before my eyes the sky changed.

photo source

When the sun left, the gray and rain came. And, out with the sun seemed to go my happy mood.

I wouldn't have said that I am particularly affected by weather, nor very 'solar-powered'; but, I felt this one... I have struggled to feel 'happy' since the sun left yesterday.

...struggled today to crawl out of bed into the cold, dark morning. ...struggled to do this and do that. ...struggled to enjoy even my afternoon coffee...

So, I decided (just now!) that the very best thing I could do was to "count!" and remember the abundance of blessings that rains down on me every day!! So, I stand up (on the inside--- smile) and raise my face to God and say, "Thank you!". ...asking that He would shine into my life and my heart--- because in heaven there is no need for sun, it says. And, so, He can certainly give me all the spiritual vitamin-D I need; and, thankfulness is a good place to start!

The sharing of my list here today is a spiritual act, a discipline, of worship!!

Here is a portion of my list from this past week... counting my way to 1,000 gifts with Ann and other folks at http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/10/why-christians-are-the-happiest-of-all/:

#928. His name that delivers me from nightmares.

929. A miracle of a healed sore throat.

930. Safety in our home--- His rod and His staff they comfort me.

931. Spontaneous generosity seen in the actions of my son.

932. Helpfulness and alertness seen in the sweet, kind, serving actions of my daughter.

933. Birthday gifts all wrapped in pink and ready to give.

935. Prayers said while picking blackberries.

937. Watching him love me in my love language---vacuuming the rug.

940. Feeling so proud of my man.

943. Invited to go deeper with God... beyond my head.

944. Sweet faces of newly painted ceramic animals.

Do you seen how close I am to logging 1,000 gifts?!!! I am on the home stretch and enjoying the hunt each day.

Do you want to see other portions of my lists? --------------> click on "thankfulness" in my "topics" list and worship with me!

Highways to God

There is a well-worn pathway in the sheep's fields close to our home. At first glance the field simply looks like a beautiful patch of green. But this has been a public walking path for many, many years; and so, many have walked on this field with the beautiful coast as their destination. If you are looking for it you can see the well-worn, clear walking path through the short grass.

Like a road, it shows you the way to walk. Who needs a sign!?

There is a well-worn pathway to God in my heart! He was the first to make the way, the road. He walked it out before I was born. I have now walked traversed this pathway to joy, toward Him, many times before. All I have to do is look for it! It is there. Always.

Psalm 84: 5 says, "Blessed is a man whose strength is in You, in whose heart are the highways [to you]".

My heart has a pathway to God. In my heart is a highway toward Him: a road always open!

As I journey on that pathway toward Him... daily, moment-by-moment... I find strength. (Psalm 84:5)

And, I find His Presence. And, I find a home. (v. 1-3)

As I daily journey this sweet highway to God, I find in Him a shield and a comfort.

I find joy and purpose. I find contentment for my thirsty soul. (v. 6-12)

How lovely is Your dwelling place, O Lord!

I am praising Him today, as I keep counting His blessings of grace. His blessings pour forth day and night and this "autumn rain covers me with pools" (Psalm 84:6)

861. Gomer lessons that set my heart aright on the journey again!

862. Times of intercession that are sweet and linger.

863. A yummy steak dinner--- what a treat!

864. My man's blue eyes that still attract me and draw me in.

865. Good, deep-heart conversations.

866. Parents who come to visit and bring with them joy. ...and give us a few nights away together!

867. The wild, wild, wild wind.

868. The sand that is whisked across the wind beaten beach.

869. Being pushed to and fro by the wind... leaning into like a kite.

870. Laying on the deep green cliffs, watching the bright blue sky and listening to him tell me a story.

871. God's Word like a lamp to my soul. He lights my pathway... reminds me of the highway to Him in my heart!

I join today, with others, to say Thank You to our Father who gives blessing on top of blessing at www.aholyexperience.com.

Jesus Christ became Incarnate for one purpose, to make a way back to God that man might stand before Him as He was created to do, the friend and lover of God Himself. ~Oswald Chambers