Just As He Said

His Word is such a gift to me!  Like daily meals, I take it in and expect it will nourish and feed.  

Some days the meal is just that---simple bread.  ...with thanksgiving, I read/eat, swallow and pray, and move about my day as it feeds me, with me hardly aware of it's inward working.  

Then, other days, it just tastes so so good.  His Word touches my mind and heart in a way that is 'bang' or 'wow'... so similar to that tasty bite of a really good burrito or a ripe strawberry.  

Then there are extra special days, when His Word jumps off the page and pierces me with precision and light.  …like those "wow" meals that stick with you...  A meal you might think about the next day, or even a meal you might recommend to others, will definitely cook again, and talk about at a dinner party or share with a friend.  

Today these words jumped off the page and sweetened my tongue:  "...they found things just as He said they would be" (Luke 22:13)

Just as He said.  

I had just finished journaling the phrase "the work of God is to believe [Jesus]" (John 6:29) and was struck again with the idea that we all, EVERY believer has the same job.  We all have the very same work in common.  Every day we need to believe Jesus.  That is our job.  That and "love Him with all our hearts, minds, souls and strength".  These are the main work points on our job description.  

…doctor, lawyer, brick layer, waitress, professor, cop, politician, artist, and teacher...  we ALL have one clear job:  love God and believe Jesus.  

The disciples believed Jesus when He told them that the exact place to celebrate the Passover meal would be given to them (Read Luke 22:7-13) and they found it 'just as He said it would be".    We can believe His words, follow His direction and He will come through. 

Following this lovely, delicious moment of His word I began thinking of the things He has told me... told us.  I began prayerfully wondering if I was believing Jesus today.....

I am going away now and am preparing a place for you and will come again...  (John 14:13)

If you abide in me, you will bear much fruit.  (John 15:8)

Peace, I give you.  My peace I give to you. (John 14:27)

I will be with you always, even until the end. (Matthew 28:20)

I will make my home within you.  (John 14:23)

You will have pain in this world (John 16:33)

Jesus has promised these things and so many more.  And, the full revelation of Scripture offers an overflowing bread-basket of abundant promises to the followers of God.   We have a feast of truth in which we can trust, believe and find our hope.  

He will come back.  He leaves me peace.  I will have pain in this world. He abides in me and will be with me to the end.   He has overcome the world and will make all things new and right.  I will be hated by the world.  I can not be separated from His love.  He began a good work in me and will bring it to completion.  He knows all things and works all things together for my good and His glory.  In the midst of pain, fire, storm, or flood, He is with me and I will not drown or burn.  

Today, I remember and I take You at Your Word, Lord Jesus.  

I will find things just as You said it would be.  

Just as You said.  

Enough

In this season of life, sleep is not always a given.  There are many mornings when I feel heavy and exhausted after the restless or sleepless night.  It had become a daily habit of mine to tell the family at the breakfast table how much sleep I had gotten...  "I only got 3 hours of sleep last night" ...longing for those around me to take part, sympathize, and understand.

It was only a few weeks ago that I had the thought... why am I keeping track?  What is the point?  Is it helping me in any way to know?

Brene Brown in her fabulous books often talks about a 'mentality of scarcity'.  We walk around struggling with the "not enough" feeling all day long.  Scarcity.  I am not enough... or I don't have enough.  Not thin enough.  Not smart enough.  Not tall enough.  Not funny enough.  Not enough time.  Not enough sleep.  Not enough energy.  Not enough fun.  Not enough money.

This 'not enough' mentality--- scarcity--- haunts us and follows us around throughout our days. But, it's a lie.  This way of thinking is absolutely false.

In contrast, we are told that we have "all we need for life and godliness"...  (2 Peter 1:3).  Scripture tells us that God gives us all we need...

It is false to say I don't have enough for life.  No!  In Christ, I truly have all I need!

"The way to slowly die is to believe you live in scarcity---not abundance" ~Ann Voskamp

According to Scripture, when we live in Christ, we live in abundance.  Abundance of grace. Abundance of strength.  Abundance of peace.  Abundance of life and light and truth...

So, I have decided to stop keeping track.

An older friend here told me she read an article that said it is helpful to not look at the clock when you wake up in the middle of the night.  The news article stated that it helps you fall asleep quicker if you don't know... or don't look.  I started there one night.  (and this was quite a discipline)

Now when I am tossing and turning... or wide awake... I just don't look.  I cover my clock with a book!  Why do I need to know?  It only brings trouble to my mind, it never helps.

I just stopped keeping track entirely.  I don't count.  I don't keep track and I don't tell my family how much sleep I got, or didn't get.  I actually don't know!

My goal in the morning, instead, is to swing my feet around, plant them firm on the ground and stand on the truth that I have enough.  For today.  For life and godliness, today, I have all I need.   In this, I can be very thankful for any and all sleep.  Slowly, I am trusting I got exactly what I need.  Jesus is my enough.  He has given me all I need today for life and for godliness...

Today, I had just enough sleep.  If, in fact, I didn't get much; then, He will give me enough energy for what He is calling me to today.  In Him, I have enough.

I speak to my soul...  Trust the Lord, Stephanie.  Trust that He is Your enough.  Trust that in Him you have abundance.  He has given you what you need.  And, indeed, He will give you what you need for today.  


------- This will be the last post for a few weeks, as I will be on the road.  

Unedited and re-posted from February 2017

Strength and Wisdom from Sorrow

My daughter wrote a stunning piece of spoken word.  I would love for you to click on the link and listen to her reading it out...   The truth in these words blessed my heart in a profound way. I share it with you with deep joy.

Click here

Or...https://drive.google.com/file/d/16g6vYacHhssWLukJuJOcM3IUrg-TVUs8/view

The text of the spoken word: 

When you look into a woman’s face
What do you see?
Sorrow.
It’s always there - 
it’s what gives the waves to the ocean in her eyes,
The fire in the pit of her stomach,
The lines around her mouth,
and depth to her words. 

Have you ever sat at the feet of a truly fierce woman:
Wearing truths she taught you to know;
just waiting, for the next pearl of wisdom to fall from her lips.
They splash onto those around her like tears. 

Tears shed for the ruined and loved boy,
tears for the cherished and lost child,
tears for the battered and beautiful friend, 
And hot wet burning tears for her own failures in grace.

These precious pearls were made through 
the scratching of the sand of the world
That made wounds and scars on her heart.
That left their cutting mark, but were not felt in vain. 

The laughter in the eyes of a child should be cherished. 
Always.
for, the liquid sunlight dripping from their eyes will vanish in time.

But the laughter of a woman is stronger still. 
For she has seen the inside of the darkness
and chosen to turn her eyes back to the sun; 
Even when she does not believe in its existence.

The flower might close at night, but soon it will be morning
And with a choice of perseverance 
She will again lift her eyes. 

Sorrow is the hinge-pin, the centrepiece, of a woman's life.
It ties her to those around her with a triple woven tread. 
Its end is what grounds her, like an anchor in a storm.
She has seen this before. 
She knows: in time, a gleam will arise out of the bloodied mess of broken souls.

She stands
It’s a choice
She knows
And with love, She chooses to throw her heart back into the fray
In order to touch the child, seeing darkness for the first time,
The man waylaid and pushed to destruction,
The women abused night after night, 
The running family with bombs sounding still in their ears, 
And the quiet grief of a boy who has nothing left to give.

This is why we come to their feet.
This is why we trust them with our love.
Their eyes hold a well of sorrow and a smile of peace.
We know they can hold more, 
and still will choose to look up from the dark to the sun.

Don’t forget their sorrow,
don’t rush on into life without their hands
They have lived your future pain.

Young women, those just tasting the start of truth,
Do not be afraid.
Every warrior has her story.
Yes, you too will have yours.
But a battered heart is not a broken life.
It is only a woman more ready to love
Well,
Wisely, and

Always. 

Link also here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/16g6vYacHhssWLukJuJOcM3IUrg-TVUs8/view
 or here  https://bit.ly/30nTbNj

Loved Even More Than Birdie

Every day, without fail, he comes to the window.

How he knows I am awake or how long he has been watching for me... only God knows!  My little friend---Mr. Black Bird.  Or, "Birdie" as we fondly refer to him.

Early each morning, I stumble downstairs and find myself a glass of water.  First things first...I am just trying to wake up!  And, without fail, Birdie flies over to my kitchen window.  He turns his head left, then right, trying to see me more clearly... I think.  Then he chirps.  Sometimes silently, just an open mouth chirp, like you might imagine from a young bird opening to his mother.  Sometimes he offers some soft sound. He is coming for food.  Raisins, to be exact.  (I have offered him alternatives without success)  His early morning cheeky begging for raisins is one of my great joys each morning.  I can hardly express the happiness it gives me to see him fly over---almost like he is announcing, "You're here!".

I adore his "feed me" eagerness and persistence.  I can walk around the kitchen for half an hour and he will wait.  Turning his head left, then right.  Mouth open.  Waiting.  Expecting.  He knows...  He just knows I can't resist him.  Too cute for words.

This was the keen picture which came to my mind today.  I was praying and telling God how thankful I was for His grand abundance of provision in my life.  There is so much He has given me---eyes that work, ears that hear, feet that function, a roof keeping off this horrid rain, a warm bed, food in abundance, and so so much more.  How can I even begin to articulate the gifts of goodness the Lord provides!?  I was in a moment of profound gratefulness... when this clear image of Birdie popped into my mind.

As I was prayerfully curious about the picture, I could sense God wanting to show Himself--- His heart.  This.  This, Stephanie, is how I feel about you. 

Like a flash, I had the thought that God loves to give.  ...No, not only loves...   God loves AND delights to give His kids good gifts.  It makes Him thoroughly happy when we come to Him for our food.  When we daily look for Him, wait for Him, and when we expect good things from His hand.  The joy I feel when I feed Birdie--- this.  This is how God feels about us.  We can bring Him joy.  You and me.  The thought of bringing joy and delight to God is truly staggering; and, certainly Biblical.

"You are precious in my eyes.... and I love you." (Isaiah 43:4)

"God the Father will give good gifts to those who ask Him." (Matthew 7:11)

"The Lord Almighty will take great delight in you..." (Zephaniah 3:17)

The verses are endless.  If you look for the heart of God---Old Testament and New--- you will see the heart of love, delight, and determination on God's part to give goodness to His people.

Lord, thank You for your daily provision for me.  You give me so many things... and even "raisins" (what I like!).  Keep my heart ready and waiting for You each day.  May I run to Your word and wait in anticipation for Your filling and feeding.  You delight to give me good things!  Your food is my hearts greatest desire, I know.  Keep me eager and persistent and ever looking for it---and looking for You.  

Every day.  Without fail.  I want to come to you and wait expectantly.

My Advent

There are days when it all feels very heavy and dark.  The world.  The news.  The sadness.

But, today, I awoke with a sadness that was almost oppressive.  Sadness seemed to hang around my neck as I rose from bed.  It pulled me down and filled my chest as I sipped my coffee.  Grief sat in my throat as I ate and weighed heavy as I walked to church.  As worship began, the tears hung heavy in my eyes...  slow, big, fat, hot tears.

Heavy, dark sadness.

I was sad... deeply saddened by the state of my heart.

Simply put, in my life, there is a certain way of thinking and seeing that is just wrong.  Profoundly wrong.  I know it is wrong; and yet, I still think the crooked thoughts and see with these darkened eyes.  There seems to be nothing I can do to change it.   Years, my heart cries.  Years and years I have seen this way and battled against it.   Years, Lord!  I cry out...longing for this to be changed.

I even know why I might naturally think this way...   I am aware.  I know the history--- I understand the where it came from.  God has shown me.   And, that has helped.   Awareness is definitely good.

But, still.  Still, I can't shift it.  I can't seem to change or fix the pattern.  My friend refers to these places as tectonic plates in our souls.  I seriously need an big 'ol 8.0 to shake these set ways of seeing.  Where can I go and what can I do?

It was one moment in time...

One swift moment.  This morning, in the midst of this heavy grief over my sin...

One young man reading one well-known passage in Scripture. 

A phrase.  A line from the text.  The Word jumped out of his teenage mouth into my dark heart and there was instantaneous light.  I felt it.  One beautiful moment...   Truth and light.

I quickly found the passage to read it again.  I couldn't take my eyes off it!  I read and read.  As I read the Word, I could literally feel the surge of hope.  I could feel the light swelling and pushing out the sadness.

"Every valley shall be raised up.  Every hill made low.  The rough ground shall become level and the rugged places a plain." (Isaiah 40:4)

Rugged and rough places.  Dark valleys...

In my minds eye I could see the rough and rugged reality of my soul--- these wrong ways of thinking and the dark valleys where my eyes could not see rightly.

My soul.  Rough.  Rugged.  Thorny and full of stones.

As if I could hear the Spirit of the Lord this morning saying over me, "Make a straight path for our God!" (Isaiah 40:3)  He commands it.  The Lord wills it.  Over me, He speaks...  I will make it level!  

In me.  In and over these rough places.  In me... a straight path.  Level ground.  A green plain.  A straight pathway for the glory of the Lord.

This is the gospel.  This is what Jesus has done for me.  This is what Jesus is doing in me...   The now and the 'not yet'.  He has shifted.  He will shift.  And, He continues to shift the rocks and make way for His way in and through me.  I have seen it.  I will continue to see it.

Light shone into my darkness this morning.  This morning, I, once again, saw a great light.  The darkness will not overcome it.  He is making all things new.  This will shift.  This will change.

There are days when it all feels very heavy.  Yes.

Today, I will wait.  I will hope and I will watch for the Lord.  With joy, now, hovering over my head and light filling out the spaces of my heart---I wait.

My advent. 

"And then, imperceptibly, it was death and winter that yielded, and life and spring stood at the door and beckoned." ~ Elizabeth Goudge, Towers in the Midst

Wanting to Write Faith

I am so naturally inclined to fix things...

Or.  Should I say I am naturally inclined to try to fix things? Or... even more accurately, I desperately want things to be fixed.  And, by things---I guess I should say people.

Yep.  People.  I want to fix people.  

I am so naturally inclined to want to try to fix people.  Myself, very much included.

A friend recently reminded me that people---any person--- "Is not a problem to be fixed".  People are not a problem.  People are a beautiful, created soul.  Each person I interact with is a unique soul to be loved, heard, seen, and encouraged.   NOT a problem to be fixed. 

Oh how I need to remember this...  

Why do I so want to fix the world, others, and very-especially myself?  

If, indeed, Jesus is the author of faith and the finisher/perfecter of faith (Hebrews 12:2).  Then, at no point in any person's journey, is it for me to try to fix and/ or correct their faith.  I can't create faith---I can't author it.  And, I certainly can't perfect faith.  The job of  the Almighty Author is to write faith and then bring each faith story to completion. 

I just get to read.  I get to love the story... or not.  I get to engage my heart, 'get really into' the book, and open up to what I see in the story being written.

People are as different as any two books!  

My job is to read the "stories" God is writing and bringing along my path...

I can interact with them, engage my heart in the story I am reading.  I can certainly cheer for the Hero of the story, applaud the good I see, and---like any good book--- profoundly long for the lovely outcome and conclusion the Author will bring about!   I can really, really want a happy ending.  

But, plain and simple: I am not the Author of Life.  I am not the Author of faith...mine or yours.  

Am I just talking to myself here?  

Because, I am so naturally inclined to fix things...  

The Loaves

"Fraud alert!" is never a good email subject line.  Right?

Usually these alerts amount to nothing.  Something I did has triggered the credit card or bank alert system. But, not yesterday.  

Yesterday 1,000 dollars was taken from my bank account.  After seeing the alert, I logged into our bank and my savings account sat there staring at me with 0.08 cents as it's balance.  Black and white.  8 cents. The money was gone!   

In the following micro seconds, while staring at the 8 cents,  I had a fervent stream of  deep fear and worry.... my daughter's help for college, travel to my brother's wedding this summer, the car breaks...  AH!  How?!  NO!?!  

And then almost immediately the phrase came into my mind... understand and remember the loaves...

Quiet and whispered...  remember the loaves, Stephanie.  

The phrase floated over my consciousness, as I sat staring at my empty bank account, and I could feel a peaceful invitation.  Actually, maybe a smiling, happy invitation:  Come in... You need never be afraid.  You can be unmoved.  You actually can trust Me right now, too.  

Recently, my son and I have been discussing this "loaves" phrase from Matthew 6: 50-52 " Take courage!  It is I.  Do not be afraid.  Then He climbed into the boat with them and the wind died down.  They were completely amazed, for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hard"

Directly after watching Jesus feed five thousand people, the disciples get into a boat and get caught in rocky, difficult weather and water.  They are afraid.  Jesus walks to them on the water and that freaks-them-out maybe more!  The minute He gets in the boat, the water calms.  This surprised and shocked them, too.  What?  Jesus can do miracles?  What?  He can walk on water?  ...and in His presence, the wind dies down?!  It is almost as if this was the first time they had seen Him do miracles.  But it wasn't!! They had already seen so much.  In fact, He had JUST fed five thousand mouths in front of their eyes.  (with twelve left over baskets of fish and loaves, I might add!) 

But, their hearts were hard and they hadn't taken it in.  They hadn't understood.  They weren't remembering.  They were walking into this new situation---rough, tough seas and the ghost of Jesus--- and they were not translating His previous work to their difficult-now.  

How often do I do this?  How often do I forget?  

Oh! How many thousands of loaves has He given me and others I love!?!  Oh... how many answered prayers has He heard and answered.  He has lavished His very Self on and in me.  Years and years of fresh, daily miracles:  His power shown forth in food and the elements.  In the midst of difficult and the hard He has been present.    

In that early morning moment in front of my empty bank account, I stopped.  I hear you, Lord.  Almost with a slight giggle myself, I said out loud:  I understand the loaves, Lord!  I will remember and not harden my heart.   And, I left it.  ...not physically, of course.  There are phone calls and emails to be written---follow-up needed.  But, I left it emotionally.   I really left it.  

The whole day I left it.  Because of the time zone issue, there was nothing to be done till evening.  But, I dropped it and moved on in my day with peace and joy.  

With the trust, there was an implicit assumption and understanding that it may mean the money was gone for good, never to be recovered.  Sometimes God says, "No" to our requests.  He doesn't always give us physical loaves, to be sure.  Jesus never promises that the boat isn't going to rock!! 

If the money is gone for good...  Jesus, You've got this and You are with me!  

If it can be recovered... Jesus, You've got this and You are with me!  

I need never worry.  

I do worry sometimes.  And, I do harden my heart.  I don't always hear or respond to His peace-filled invitations.  But...  

Today, I understood the loaves.  

*In the end, the situation was sorted by the bank.  The money was returned.  There was indeed theft and apparently someone in New York had my debit card (even though I have it in hand here in the UK).  The joys of this dark and clever criminal world we live in!  But, in truth, all is well.  By the end of the day... all bread was back in the basket!  And I have plenty.    ...but, actually, in truth, I had plenty and enough when the bank account showed 0.08 cents.   

He Tells a Different Story

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The nature of our lives--- our work and our connection to so many people around the world---allows for a pretty consistent slew of bad news coming across our desks.  We jokingly look at each other sometimes and talk about the all too common feeling of dread when hitting the "send and receive" button in our email program.  What will we hear next...

Bad news.  

No one likes to hear it.  Feelings that accompany bad news are numerous, depending on the situation and how close it comes to us, the feelings come in degrees---sadness, grief, anger, disgust, worry, fear, hopelessness...  just to name a few.  Bad news can feel like a punch in the gut.  We don't like how bad news feels.  But, we keep hearing it.  ...and yes, we all keep reading the headlines and the news.  Like going back into a painful situation time and time again, we keep turning on the television to hear more or to listen to it again.  And, again.  Why?   Why do we do this to ourselves, I wonder.  

This morning I was struck when reading Mark 5:35-43.  In this passage, a desperate father is standing before Jesus asking for Him to come and heal his dying daughter.   While he is still standing with Jesus, some men come and tell Jarius, the father, terrible news---horrific news.  "Your daughter is dead", they say.   What might Jarius have been feeling at that moment; that gut-wrenching moment?  I can only imagine.  Truly, this must be the one of the worst possible pieces of news a person can receive--- death; the death of someone you love.  

Jesus' reply to this situation is shocking.  All eyes are on Jarius in this moment; but, heads must turn quickly to look at Jesus when He speaks confidently and directly after the men bring the bad news. He tells Jairus a very different story.  In the passage, in fact, Jesus "ignored what they said" and encourages Jairus with these words:  

"Don't be afraid:  just believe" (Mark 5:36)

Jesus tells Jarius a totally different story--- He gives him different news.  

Going against the tide, against the "truth" and "reality" that everyone is seeing and testifying to, Jesus walks forward and says, "The child is not dead but asleep".    

This morning, as I saw this story unfold in my mind's-eye, I kept thinking:  What if when I hear bad news---horrific and terrible news--- what if, I looked to You, Jesus.  In those moments---those sad, fearful, sickening moments.  What if I turned my eyes immediately from the messenger (let it be men, email or television) and asked You, "What say You?"  

Jesus, what do You say about this?  What is the true story here?  

Might I hear something different from my Jesus, my Savior?  When I hear the hopelessness that is being broadcast over our world today...  what if Jesus is "ignoring" this bad news of despair and saying something different?  

Might I hear the whispering of His words...  "Don't be afraid... just believe"

"I am making all things new" (Revelation 21:5)

Jesus, tell me Your story---Your good news.  Tell me the True story today.  

Hard Questions

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"Why?"... she stumbled to formulate her question.  Sweet girl.

 She asked, with hesitation, as if unsure of the appropriateness.  Maybe she was wondering, 'Can I even ask such a question?' ...

"Why... do you think... why, would God allow you to have this long term illness?  Is there something... anything... is there a 'reason'?  What has He shown you?"

What a question!  What a beautiful, honest, appropriate question.  
We ask it all the time, don't we?  Deep in our hearts, we wonder. We hesitate to ask.  Why, Lord?  We want to understand.  We want reason behind pain and suffering.   I have asked this question about many things through the years.  Sometimes, I get 'the answer' (or an answer) and sometimes I don't.  A hard question.  No easy-come answers, to be sure.

But, when this young gal asked (who has her own long-term illness with which she must wrestle), ... when she asked...  I had an answer.   I knew the answer.

It surprised me.

It came so quickly to my mind and so clearly to my heart... that I just knew.  I knew ---at least---one of the reasons He has allowed me to suffer with pain, weakness, and illness (in varying degrees) my whole life.

It is my kryptonite.  That was the thought.  A funny thought, right!?

I am ...as I truly believe we ALL are...  a gifted, competent, strong person.   I am super-girl.  This illness has given me a gift--a huge gift.  

My answer to her was simple:  It is my kryptonite.  It reminds me most days that I need God.  I desperately, desperately need Him.  I have weakness and that is okay...  I have a strong God!  

I believe that if I hadn't been allowed this suffering, I would have easily done life on my own. Entirely.

My pain and illness have been a key...  a pathway and a light along the path;   always leading me to my desperation for God.  Through the years of suffering, if I have 'learned' anything it would be my need of God:  as my Father, my Deliverer, my Provider, my Calm, my Shepherd, my Strength, and my Shield.  I, laughingly, admit that I can't even sleep without Him.  It's true.  I can't!

I have learned--- and continue to learn every day--- that His grace is truly sufficient.  (2 Corinthians 12:8-9)

After sharing this with my young friend, she said a profound thing,  "Wow.  That is almost the exact thought that has been growing in my heart these past weeks."  God has been answering her hard, awkward question, too.

Yes!  I am so glad you asked, sweet girl.

I am Getting Larger Every Day

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Do you ever get tired of the sin in your life?  I do.

I can feel small.  Narrow and dark.

Some days I wish I was just done.   Done with sin.  Finished. Completed.  Perfect.

I have this deep desire to be perfect and ...to be perfect yesterday, please.

But, alas, that is not how God works, I know.  He is the author...  writing our faith.   He is the perfecter---the finisher--- of our faith. (Hebrews 12:2) He is the one who is bringing it into completion.  (Philippians 1:6)

This truth jumped off the page and settled into my heart last week as I read in Exodus 23.  He reminds His people that He is indeed leading them and will bring them to the land.  He tells them that He, Himself, will destroy all enemies---all those that will cause them harm.  But, ...  BUT... He tells them,

"But, I will not drive them out in a single year, because the land will become desolate and the wild animals are too numerous for you.  Little by little, I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land."  

Little by little, I will drive them out... 

All these enemies of my soul... the sin, the pain and wounds, the flesh, the temptations, the devil... He is driving them out, to be sure!  And, He will complete His work.  But... little by little.

I have always seen this truth play out in my life.  The "distrust and unbelief" issue in my life that He has been driving out.  Little by little.  Do you trust me now?  Stephanie, now, do you believe me? 

Yes, Lord, I believe!!

Good, He says, that was the 'Amorites' of distrust.  Now let's get to work on the 'Hittites' of unbelief... and next year we will grapple with the Jebusites.  "I will be an enemy to your enemies.  I will wipe them all out completely!" (v. 20, 23)

He doesn't wipe our "land" clean all at once... because, well--- maybe... just maybe we can't handle it. We simply aren't ready to be that free!  I don't know.  "The wild animals are too numerous for you." He knows.  He promises to keep working.  He keeps watching and helping.

Until you have increased enough to take possession of the land...  He whispers.

He IS increasing us.

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Augustine of Hippo once said, "Narrow is the mansion of my soul, enlarge it, Lord..."

He knows what I can handle.  He knows that the world and the devil prowl around like a lion looking to devour and steal; wild animals looking to pounce on my soul.

Don't be dismayed or discouraged.  God will take the land!  He is completing His work in me.  He does win in the end... and always, always, always I walk through it all with Him.  Led by Him.

Narrow is my heart, please enlarge it, Lord!  Increase my soul...  increase me and take full possession, Holy Spirit.  Have Your way, little by little, in my mind and heart and soul!  

Not perfect yesterday.  Not tomorrow, either.  But, by His grace, I am getting larger every day!

Looking for the Rainbow

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It rains often where I live.  A lot.  ...I mean it... it rains a lot!

As I sit here and glance out the window, I see the rain begin again... It is our 'normal' here.  And, I don't hate it.  I know that I live in a very green land and, in truth, we are green here because of the rain.  Green and rain go hand-and-hand.  Today, though, I realize that it is raining while at the same time it is bright and sunny. With that recognition comes excitement.   My heart leaps with a happy thought, "There will be a rainbow!"  Somewhere I know there will be a rainbow.  I just have to find it!  Go looking for it...

Praying, a few months back, for my two children, my mother's heart was asking that my kids would be spared from pain--- this specific pain, that pain, ANY pain, Lord.   Spare them from any pain, Lord. In that moment, as the cry of my heart issued forth, my attention was drawn immediately to the window.  I looked outside and saw the rain.  In the quietness and with a gentle whisper, I felt the Lord breathe a truth into my heart...  In order for green and growth, we need sunshine AND rain, Stephanie. Both are necessary.   

Sunshine and rain.  

I know this.  We all know this.  But, oh!, how we feel when the rain and storms of life come.  With this kind reminder from God, I began to pray differently.  Okay, Lord.  Yes, I want my children to be 'green' with life!  I want them to grow and flourish in You.  So, Lord... I trust You with the rain.  Bring rain AND sunshine in my children's lives.  Only as much rain as necessary, Father!  ...Lord, protect them from floods and storms that are not necessary to their growth.  Protect them from hail and destructive hurricanes.  But, I say "yes and amen!" to Your gifts of sunshine and rain in their lives.  

I pray.  I begin again to trust and believe--- Lord, help me with my unbelief.  And, I ask that they would grow.  I also pray that they would look for and see more and more rainbows.  Go looking for it...

67 Years and Still Learning

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"I am just now 67 years old this year", she said as she began explaining a new adventure she was having with God.

"You see I was needing to get to my doctor's appointment the other day..."  She was beautiful, her Welsh accent thick, as she began to share her heart and her current journey with God.

As she spoke, I could just imagine her rushing from one appointment in town to another.  She shared that she had pleaded and begged God to keep the train just a while longer so that she wouldn't miss it.  She was going to be late!  She told me of her pleading prayers as she hurried on her aging, disintegrating knees. "Oh, Lord, please!"  I am very accustomed to seeing her gait.  In my mind's eye, I could see her shuffling as fast as she could to make the train.

And, then, with with a twinkle in her eyes, she leaned in and gave me the punch-line, "Stephanie, ...it was there waiting for me.  It said 'Delayed 9 minutes".

I smiled with her and a sweet, internal "Yes!" welled up within my spirit in agreement with this statement of thanksgiving and praise.  "It was there, just like I asked Him. Why do I wonder and fret?!"

Then came the exclamation point at the end of the story.  With a pause and after a quick chuckle she added quietly and slowly, "And, then ...I heard the Lord say to me: 'I heard you the first time!"  

I heard you, daughter, the very first time you asked.  

"Oh- will I ever learn?!" she said and her head flew back with laughter.

New lessons of faith and trust are my 67 year old friend's adventure.  I love every minute of our conversation.

Faith and trust.  Are these ever too old or too simple to learn again?

Will we ever learn?  Will I ever learn?

My Father seems to be whispering to my heart these new lessons of faith and trust, too.

Patience, my child.  Patience...  My grace is sufficient.  

Chicken from God's Hand

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So, I have a pretty lengthy list of food allergies.   I have only figured this out in the last few years and am so glad for blood tests that have confirmed and helped the process.  But, it is still a bit new.  And, although I am deeply grateful to have this information about myself, it has been a bumpy, hill-and-valley-filled journey toward receiving this 'gift' with thankfulness.

It does make life a bit harder, to be sure.  And, it pushes hard on my 'don't be a bother' issue---  I am the one who is a bother when it comes to meal times.  I simply can't just eat anything these days.  And, it pushes on my 'I can't have a weakness' issue---In fact, I have weakness for all to see and witness at every meal time.  Pushing on these issues is good and right.  Pushing on these wounds, and others, is Loving!  But, it hasn't been an easy road. 

When I travel,  it becomes even more fraught with difficulties.  But, my loving Father continues to show me His care over even this mundane aspect of my life.  Food.

He talks alot about food in His word, have you ever noticed?  He talks about His provision and His care of food.  He talks about His gifts of food and His using food to nourish.  He talks about food's importance and it's place in our lives.  He also talks about being our food... He, Himself... our food.   He shares with us that He is sweeter than the very best earthly food. 

So, with an upcoming trip approaching came a dialogue with my Father about my food.  As we talked about my food---or my food allergies--- I felt a distinctly, determined faith rising up within my soul.  I truly felt His Spirit was placing in me a stubborn commitment to not worry about what I would eat.  I sensed an invitation to trust Him more. 

He would provide.  He was my good Shepherd and would provide exactly the food I needed in the pasture He was taking me.

But, I still planned.  And, I still prepared.  I made us a lovely breakfast for our 4 am train ride... including beautiful, egg-free, dairy-free, gluten-free, corn-free, sugar-free pumpkin muffins.  I was ready!

Until... in the midst of the 3 AM brain frog and haste of leaving, I forgot that lovely, full bag of food in my refrigerator. It is still sitting there as I write this! 

The minute I remembered it (on our way to catch the train), I felt such grief!  And, mingled in the grief...was the thought...  How in the world am I going to eat!?  What am I going to eat on this train and plane flight?! 

My head literally dropped down to my knees and I wanted to cry.  Worry and fear where hanging close by ready to jump.  Quicker still and stronger, though, was a tender thought that wafted across my mind.  I am Your Good Shepherd.  Trust me.  I will provide for you. 

I knew this was an opportunity.  This too was a practical, beautiful opportunity to fall head first into the invitation of trust from my Heavenly Father! 

So, in those wee hours, as we rode along that dark road to the train station, I opened my hands and told my sweet Father that I would trust Him.   Father, I trust You today. 

You should have seen the beautiful chicken breast dinner that was delivered to my airplane seat as we began our 11 hour plane flight that day!!  Truly it was miraculous.  I could eat it all... a tray full of delicious airplane food (I know, an oxymoron!) that I could eat.

He had led me into this pasture and was providing food for me.  He was delivering manna right to my airplane seat...  and it tasted wonderful!

He cares about this... even this.  He is my Shepherd.  He is your Shepherd, today, my friends.  Right where you are--- in your pasture--- He will provide all you need.  

I am learning, Father.  Thank you for teaching me.  And, thank you for using hard things to lead me forward in this lesson of faith. 

Menu of Choice

What we choose to eat matters to our overall health and well being.  We all know this.  Scientific research tells us that our physical, emotional, and mental health are all effected by the foods we eat---for good or bad.
We have a choice what we put into our bodies.  And, our choices matter.

God has given us choice in our spiritual lives, as well--- this is clear from Scripture.  He has given us a part to play...an invitation to join Him and His work in the world.  We are not robots, or trees, and we a not an animal led by instinct...  we have choice.

"Draw near to God", His word says, "...and He will draw near to you."
"Abide in My love", He tells us.
"Choose this day whom you will serve", His heart invites His children to choose life and love.

What choice will I make today?  What choice now, in this very moment?

Reading in Psalm 85 this morning, I was struck by Psalmist vocalizing his choice:  "I will listen to what the Lord will say...  He offers His people peace...and I will choose it... I will listen."

I will listen.   This is a choice.

When there are so many voices vying for our attention, we must make this choice each day.  I must make this choice...  what will I listen to?  Who will I listen to?

God has given us a part.  Is faith and peace and joy and grace a gift from Him?  Yes, absolutely!  Each one a free gift from His heart to mine.  Will He perfect my faith?  Yes, absolutely!  Perfecting faith is not my job; only He can do it, to be sure.  But, God has given us a choice. He has given me a part to play.

Like eating physical food, I really have no say in how well my digestive system does it's job.  This mysterious process happens within me, without my help.  My stomach works to extract nutrients and transfer needed things to my cells, ect.  I don't have much say in the process at all!  But, I do indeed have a choice as to what food I put into my body--- to aide in the process.  I have a part to play.  Certainly, if I cram my body full of junk or poisons it will disrupt the healthy, mysterious God ordained process of my digestive system.

So, I believe, is our part in the journey of our soul.  We have a choice to "eat" Truth and "feast" on God.  I have a choice to believe... rehearse what is True and turn my ear toward His voice.

No, I don't author faith---that is abundantly clear!  And, I don't perfect faith.  That is God's job---His job alone.  But, I can respond.  I can invite... I can share... I can feed my faith and his faith and her faith.  I can choose good "food" to aid in the God-alone-process of grace given, faith received and peace felt.

So, today I will choose to listen to what the Lord says to me.  He offers me peace.  What a sweet offer!!

I choose peace.

And, I will choose not to return to folly--- I will reject that junk food of "worry" or that diet of "fear". (Psalm 85:8)

Gotta' feed the beast

A beast of burden.

That is how A.W. Tozer suggests that we consider our bodies in his wonderful book, Pursuit of God.  I love it.  I just love it! 

Just as Jesus "had need of" that beast of burden, the donkey, when He rode into Jerusalem, so we too have need of our bodies.  They serve us.  Actually, they serve the Lord through serving us.  Just as that humble, insignificant ass did over 2,000 years ago for Jesus, so my body is a tool for the Lord---for His glory.  

And, just as we wouldn't abuse or neglect our needed beasts of burden, neither should we in any way abuse our bodies.  We should feed them, care for them appropriately and make them always ready for service when they are needed.  In the same way, we shouldn't rely on them too heavily or praise them--- focusing on them in excess.  Certainly the beast that carried Jesus was not receiving any "Hosanna's".  He just carried the One whom they praised.

My "beast of burden" has given me havoc many a times in my life.  Today this beast, my body, cries out for some more care.  Today it was a needed crown on an aging tooth and possibly a root canal.  Yuck.  But, truly, not something that I can ignore.  And, certainly ignoring it any longer would be to neglect the body that God has given me to carry me through this life.  ...so I must deal with it.

To be honest, the thought of a root canal and a crown was not as overwhelming as the thought of the cost of the two procedures.

I felt frustrated that once again this body of mine, this beast...  this hole-ridden- tent, was crying out in a way that was beyond my ability to provide.  I can feed it, yes, but I can't fix it!  ...and actually, in fact, the very food that I feed it comes from God's hand, as well! 

So... sitting in the parking lot of the dentist's office... my Father God and I had a good conversation about this.  I was able to tell Him that I needed Him to care for this body of mine.  I was able to ask Him provide for the beast that He has given me. And, that just as the disciples went at His bidding to get that donkey and bring the beast for the Lord's use... I am asking God to do all things necessary so that I can continue to serve Him---that this beast of a body would be a tool in His hands, for His glory!

This dialogue was had with tears and a fair bit of frustration.  I trust You, Lord.  Help me to trust You more!

So I rode this beast of burden right into the specialist's office.  And, long story short--- I don't need a root canal!  (a crown, yes.)  This news felt like a huge gift from God!  And as a special "wink" from my Father in Heaven, the specialist gave me the consulting visit for free.  Free! 

As I left the appointment, the receptionist said to me in low-quiet-tones, "there is no charge for today's visit".

I said, "I don't understand."

She lifted her voice just a bit and whispered again, "there is no charge for today's visit."

Dumbfounded, I said again, "I am sorry.  I don't understand."

"The doctor would like to bless you," she spoke quietly with a smile, "it's a blessing."

A smile from the receptionist.  A wink and a smile from my Father in Heaven---reminding me that He would indeed care well for this beast of burden---for me, for my body.  He would provide.  I could trust Him.  He does still have "need" of me and my body for His glory, ... so He would take care of it.  He will feed the beast!

His Light to keep from steppin' in...

So I went on a walk this morning.

It wasn't too early, just dark.  ...So goes the winter-life of anyone who lives this high in the Northern Hemisphere!    But, I figured, "No worries, I know the path.  I know the way."  And, I do.

As I started my walk into the dark, I had this sense that I was in a dream.  I don't know if it was the half-light of the breaking morning, but it felt like a dream state.  Until...

Until, I stepped in poo.

Yes, you read that right.  Poo.

Now, I know this road that I take most mornings fairly well.  So, I could easily surmise that this patch was horse poo.  I have side stepped it other times successfully.  ...it was only a guess, really.

Though my walk was not pitch black, the dawning sun and the street lights helped to light my eyes, my foot path was not lit.  I could see ahead, but I couldn't see my feet very well.  But, I could feel as I stepped, to be sure.  And, I most certainly stepped in poop!  For, stepping in poo feels very different than stepping on cement or asphalt.

I continued on, though, (bravery at its best!)...what is a little poo on a well-worn, mud-covered hiking boot, right?

So, I kept walking and entered the fields near our home.  And, try as I might, I kept stepping on poo.

Over and over!  Was it cow poo--- that one felt like a cow pie underfoot!?  Was it sheep's poop, dog's poop?  They all do feel different, not to be too graphic (smile).  And, they all feel different than the squidgy mud in the field, as well.

But, I just couldn't help myself.   I just couldn't see my foot's way.  I wasn't lost.  Seeing my walking path wasn't too hard in the dim light, just seeing my every step was a bit difficult.  Well, difficult enough to step multiple times in poo.

So, why am I telling you this?

The song that came to mind as I trudged through the muck and the mire of my darkened walk was, "Light of the word, You came down into darkness.  Opened my eyes, let me see.  Beauty that made this heart adore You.  Hope of a life spent with You!"

I trudged and sang into the dawn:  "Light of the word!!"  ...in this dark morning who would hear me but God!  I walked and stepped and trudged and sang.

And, I remembered the lessons of late--- I can do nothing with out Him.  I may think I know the way.  And, certainly I know enough in my Christian walk to not get "lost".  But, if I don't have Him, I can certainly step in some good 'ol yucky poop!!  ...and, I would really rather not.  You?

Jesus, I am desperate for your light.  I am desperate for Your guidance every day... all day!  You light my footpath, You light my every step.  Help me not to walk on without You today.  

Just a Little Princess

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So, I feel a bit like George MacDonald's Princess Irene, being led by her grandmother's silver thread into the depths of the dark mountain where the goblins live.   This sweet, young girl knows for certain that her loving grandmother is leading her.  And, yet, as she goes deeper and deeper into the mountain's belly, she begins to be very afraid.

"And still the path grew rougher and steeper, and the mountain grew wilder... For a little way there was a brown glimmer, but at the first turn it all but ceased, and before she had gone many paces she was in total darkness.  Then she began to be frightened indeed."  

Frightened indeed.  We find ourselves in difficult places, rough terrain,...even darkness.  And we get... I get... frightened indeed.  

"...as she went farther and farther into the darkness of the great hollow mountain, she kept thinking of her grandmother, and all she had said to her, and how kind she has been, and how beautiful she was, and all about her lovely room, and the fire of roses and the great lamp that sends it's light..."

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As I look ahead at the ambiguity of my health, I find myself, like the sweet, darling princess Irene, strangely peaceful.  Like her, I am comforted as I remember.  

When I begin to feel worried or afraid, all I have to do is think about my Father.  I keep thinking about all He has said to me, how kind He is, how beautiful He is and ...like Irene, I remember being with Him, sitting with Him and His Presence.

His word has told me that, "He will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in Him."  (Isaiah 26:3)  His invitation is to "take His yoke upon me, which is light and easy to carry".   And, He reminds me that He offers me to always "come to Him and He will give me rest".  (Matt. 11:28-30)

Yesterday, in worship, as I was thinking on Him and His beauty, I had this unexpected wild array of mental images flash through my mind.  Memories...  Me, at 15 years old...  me, at 16 years old, ... me at 18... and so on and so forth.  Some of the quick, flashing memories were hard times, some were moments of amazing blessing--- but, as I "watched", I knew all were in Him.  He was there in all of them.  He has been faithful.  He has always been Present.  

I am amazingly unafraid.  I am wonderfully unworried.  What a gift!  

Perfect peace.  This is what I have available for my soul when I keep my mind on Him and trust Him.  

So, like Irene, I walk on into the dark mountain ... not with blind-faith, no!, but with remembering trust.  Like a child, I simply look to my loving Father and I remember Him---all He is and all He has done, all He will do!  

If I can?

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"If you can do anything to help..." the father pleads with Jesus for the healing of his son.  (Mark 9)
   
I can only imagine the agony this father has experienced.  I hate watching my children hurt.  It breaks my heart and it brings me to my knees asking God to heal, to protect and to help.
 
This father is no different.  He brings his son to find healing and when Jesus looks at him, he says, "If you can do anything to help, please take pity on us".  (Mark 9:22)

What was Jesus' response to this request?

"If I can?"  (Mark 9:23)

Can you just picture the scene.  The love and faith of this father is remarkable.  He believes enough to bring his sick son to the disciples and ask for help.  He is desperate. He watches and listened while the disciples argue with the Pharisees... about who knows what.

Then, Jesus returns from His heavenly-touches-earth-moment on the mount (the Transfiguration) and interrupts this confusing soiree with His presence.  His arrival breaks up the crowd, they are in awe.  And, Jesus is clearly annoyed.  "You faithless generation.  How long do I have to put up with you?"  (Mark 9:19).

And then He turns to the real issue at hand...  the boy and the father.

"Bring the boy to me", He commands.  Do you think the father might feel a little afraid, a little on-the-spot, maybe discouraged?  I don't know.  Maybe the look in Christ's eyes is one of compassion when He addresses this father.   But we do know that, because the demons are agitated, right there and then the boy goes into convulsions.  What agony the father must have felt every time the convulsions started.

And then he pleads...  "if you can... have pity".

Jesus rebukes him, steering him toward truth.  He responds to the father, "If I can? All things are possible for those who believe".  The father says profoundly, "I do believe.  Help me with my unbelief!"

I do believe, I say.  I do.  You know I do.  I really, really do. 
And, please Lord Jesus, help me with my unbelief!  


Right now I am reading a beautiful, beautiful story written by George MacDonald, The Princess and the Goblin.
   
I am only half way through and I am in love with this book!  It will top my favorite's list, to be sure.  What moved me today, though, is the amazing way MacDonald's reminds the reader about our need to remember--- or, our tendency to forget.

"'..child, you must come back to me.  If you don't, I do not know when you may find me again.'  'Oh! Please don't let me forget.'  'You shall not forget.  The only question is whether you will believe I am anywhere--whether you will believe I am anything but a dream.  You may be sure I will do all I can to help you come.  But it will rest with yourself, after-all.... During the whole of the week, Irene had been thinking every other moment of her promise [to visit], although even now she could not feel quite sure that she had not been dreaming.  Could it really be?"  (The Princess and the Goblin)

A dream.   ...we think, do we sometimes and somewhere deep within think, that this "all things are possible" spoken from Jesus is just a dream.  ...can it really be true?  Did He really mean all things?  We believe, yes!  And, we remember to believe right up to the moment we do forget.

Even my deepest, truest, most fervent belief is tainted by unbelief.  This is why we need Jesus so.  He reminds us.  He keeps pursuing us and keeps working on our behalf.  He invites us to believe.  And, rebukes us when we don't.  And, then he heals our sons and daughters.  He answers our prayers.  ...or doesn't (as we see it).  But, He can.  He can.

And we must bring Him our sons.  We must come.  We must ask.  We must keep looking for Him and seeking Him.

This is what He is reminding me tonight.
Ask me, Stephanie.  Pray.  Tell me what you need and what you want.  Ask and you will receive.  Believe and trust. Bring it to me.   

With a welling heart, full of hope, I say to Him, "I believe.  Help me with my unbelief".

Still Afraid Sometimes

So, I found myself afraid last night. It was a significant fear that I struggled to shake off. No real reason for the fear;it was irrational fear, really. But, man!, was it a struggle as I tried to fall asleep.

As I worked my way through the night, waking many times, I prayed much and fought with spiritual weapons I have learned to use--- the Name of Jesus being the primary one!

But, still the fear lingered and poked and nudged it's way into my sleep, my dreams and my whole night. What is this?

I woke this morning and it had all dissipated with the morning sun. Was it simply childlike fear of the dark!?

As I woke, I wondered (in prayer) with the Father at my lack of trust or faith. Not at all in shame or guilt... but in reflection and wonder. Like my brothers, those disciples, who rode in a boat and were afraid of the storm... I felt Jesus whispering to my heart, "Do you still lack faith?O, you of little faith. Why are you so afraid?". (Mark 4:35-40)

Why, Stephanie, are you so afraid?

I don't know, Lord. I really don't know.

True love, I know, casts out fear (I John 4:18). Trusting this True Love, His True Love, is the key to faith and will solve fear... I know. But, I felt stuck last night. I felt overpowered by the winds and the waves.

There were moments when I felt deep peace last night, I must share. And, those moments were when I remembered, and worshiped, WHO God is and WHAT He can do and has done! These moments opened light into my midnight darkness. ...maybe that is the beginning to wisdom. Just maybe...

This fear. The fear of the Lord. The knowledge of WHO He is and trusting Him as He really is... Almighty King and Loving Father.

This was the response of the disciples after Jesus' rebuke that day, "The were terrified and asked each other, 'Who is this that even the wind and waves obey him?'" (Mark 4:41).

My brothers went from fearing the waves and fearing for their safety to fearing HIM... they were terrified, it says. Maybe it is this right understanding of WHO God is that will bring deliverance from fear. Fear that frees us from fear!

But, it isn't just knowledge, is it? No. I am much more complex than that... there are far too many other variables in my heart--- my past, my wounds, my personality, and the enemy's work--- that were in play last night.

But, this fear... this good, awe-inducing, eye-opening, Spirit-led fear of my Lord... is the beginning of wisdom. (Psalm 111:10) And, I needed some wisdom last night!

God cares

The preacher said on Sunday, "God cares more about who you are than about what you do."

At the time, I listened and nodded, with an internal, "Amen!"

But, upon reflection, I think this statement is wrong. Or, at least, this statement is off-the-mark.

I think God cares a lot about what we do.

I agree with the sentiment of the phrase. I deeply agree with the message which I am certain this faithful preacher was attempting to share on Sunday. The idea that Father God cares deeply about the state of our hearts. God looks at what is on the inside or the state of our faith, not at our outward deeds or actions, as a measure of reality. He sees our souls, our hearts, our thoughts. He doesn't want white-washed, clean looking stinky tombs. He cares about how clean the cup is on the inside! This I can say, "Amen!" to wholeheartedly.

But, to say that God cares more about "who we are than what we do" is an oxymoronic statement. For, in truth, what we do shows forth who we are. They are deeply and inextricably linked to each other.

Our actions are a testament to our belief. Our deeds are connected to our faith. From our hearts flow the things we do.

God cares deeply about who I am. Yes! And, God cares deeply about what I do.

It does matter to Him how I act as a wife, a mother, a neighbor, an enemy and a friend.

It matters deeply to Him how I wash the dishes, parent my children, or write my newsletters.

"Let your light shine before me"... that is the who I am bit. ..."that they may see your good deeds" ...that is the what I do bit. SO THAT, "they may praise your Father in heaven. " ...that is the goal! (Matthew 5:16)

I am reading a wonderful novel by George MacDonald, The Curates Awakening. One major theme MacDonald is wrestling with is what would faith--- deep, heart changing faith in Jesus--- do to a man's real, everyday life.

"Now it was clear as day that--always provided the man Christ Jesus can be and is with his disciples always to the end of the world--a tradesman might just as soon have Jesus behind the counter with him, teaching him to buy and sell in His Name, that is as he would have done it, as an earl riding over his lands might have him with him, teaching him how to treat his farmers and cottagers. ...the trader who trades nobly is nobler surely than the high-born who, if he carried the principles of his daily life into trade, would be as pitiful a sneak as any he that bows and scrapes falsely behind that altar of lies, his counter." (The Curates Awakening)

To trade in His Name. To lead in His name and to care for others in His name. To clean in His Name. To write in His name. To teach in His name. "as unto Him alone!"

This is what He longs to see in His children, I think.

I Corinthians 10 tells us that we have an example in the Israelite desert wanderers. Paul reminds us that God's people were fed miraculous, spiritual food. They were provided for and led forward in His presence. They ate and had their fill. Who were they?... cared for, provided, fed and led children of God!

...and yet, "The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to play" (1 Cor. 10:7). Their play included everything from sexual immorality, to distrust, to grumbling... and everything in between. (v. 8-9)

Their "play" looked nothing like the spiritual, pure food that had nourished them.

It mattered to the Lord what they did after they ate the spiritual manna He put before them. He cared a lot about what they did. Paul reminds us that God was deeply displeased with their behavior and left them to die in the desert.

This reminder passage in 1 Corinthians concludes with the very familiar passage, "Whatever you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God" (10:31). Eat. Drink. ...then get up and "do all" to His glory.

I was blessed with spiritual food this morning. He fed me from His word and His Spirit. Now, it matters ...deeply matters... what I "get up" and do today.

For God cares about who I am, Yes! And, He cares about what I do.