Immediately when thinking and praying on this, I instantly knew... I know.
This year, this 2011, is about presence. The year of presence. The year of the now, the here, and the present.
I miss so much in my life. I miss special moments and sacred spaces... I miss them, like a blink or a breathe.
And, I miss them mostly because I am not "present". I am not aware. I am occupied with other thoughts, other times ...past or future, other tasks and other ventures. I am processing and planning. I am worrying or wondering. ...I am bored or feeling guilty. ...I am offended or concerned that I offended another. What ever it is that is keeping me away, so often my mind and my heart are not present in the "now" or in the moment.
Is it the laundry basket full that needs to be done? or the email that needs to be written? Is it the friend or the family member that is taking my thoughts far away from the moment? Is it the television, the music or the computer? ...whether right, wrong, silly, indifferent or amoral... whatever it is, it so often keeps me from the now.
I want to learn to be more alive now. ...more present in each moment. ...more connected to the present and the current. I want to experience my "nows" more... I long to know each moment and be alive to Him, His Presence, and to connect to others', their presence.
This is the theme I believe He is giving me this year. The year of the of the now. The year of Presence.
Father, teach me. Teach me to be fully alive, fully aware, fully given to You and to others... and to myself ... in the now. Help me. Father, ignite my soul, my mind and my heart to be aware of those things that tug for my attention. May I give myself entirely to the tasks, the people, the places, and the things that you give me each day... each moment of each day. Teach me, Jesus. Teach me Holy Spirit. O Father, teach me.
"I miss living this moment because my head’s already moved into the next moment — the one that isn't even here yet — and when I am not in this moment but trying to shove into a moment that doesn't even exist — I miss out on living at all. I may bodily be in this space but I am not even alive. Could I be walking through the years but not even be alive? There’s a dishcloth in my hand. The skin of my hand is the border of me in time, my skin the way of keeping me within the frame of now. Is this why God puts us who are souls into bodies? To keep us in this moment? My body is my boundary, keeping my soul in this space. I take a deep, long breath. This moment comes straight down. I’m at the brink of another year and I really want to live… and this moment here is the only one I can live in." ~Ann Voskamp at aholyexperience.com
