I was listening to Sara Groves, "Why It Matters", this morning...
And... I had an epiphany.
Funny word... epiphany. Sounds so BIG or so WOW. But, actually, it usually comes very quietly and very softly. It's an awakening. It's simple awareness. While listening to this ode to creativity written by Sara Groves twenty years ago, I became keenly aware of why I blog, why I paint, ...maybe why I live my every single day. I guess that is big-awareness!
I wrote Why I Blog in August, 2011... ten years ago. In that post, I explore my need and desire to connect and be known. This was why I started blogging. This need and hunger to be known is still in me, of course. But, I am realising that through the years, my motivation and reason for blogging is different now. Or, at least, 'added to'. Yes, I want you to know me and I need a place to process what God is doing in my life. But, NOW... I find that my blog is a bit of a protest.
Yep, a place of protest.
In my small way, in this very small place... I protest. I protest the darkness and hopelessness that seems to invade our every day lives with songs and sounds of death, destruction, and theft. I long to speak life, creation, and generosity.
I protest the idea that Christians are stupid/silly, ignorant, bigoted, and hypocritical. I long to speak of wisdom and truth. I want to write about the true things that invade my life. I long to speak of where I see the truest things--- beauty, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and sacrificial love--- invading the world all around me. I protest with my desire to be authentic and vulnerable here. I want to share struggle and pain and triumph and ambiguity--- all of which are the reality of most of the Christians I know. I don't have all the answers at all! I have a journey to walk. I protest with my offerings of my own journey into being loved and loving others with Christ's unfailing, unbounded love.
Am I sometimes very stupid/silly? Ignorant? Bigoted? and Hypocritical… yes, of course! We all are. You are, too. But, you and I are SO SO much more than that. And, certainly that is not even close to ALL that I am. So, I protest to these labels over me and over the thousands of Christians world wide--- spread far across cultures, denominations, generations, and this beautiful globe.
I protest.
I protest the idea that music, art, and writing must always be perfect like a photo, or always moody and dark, or only ever filled with happiness. I protest! I want to write about the real things. My blog is full of questions, wrestling, dark frustrations, light moments, and bold truths that I still struggle to fully live out. Our lives, ...our real lives... are so multi coloured!
I protest that small things don't matter. I protest that only things that ----cost much, or are 'liked much', or are 'celebrated' or are held up and noted--- that only these things matter. This small place. This very small life. My life. And, yours... they matter.
I believe it matters that when I smiled yesterday on my walk... making every effort to pass by each individual, look them in the eyes, and smile. I believe that THAT matters. It certainly mattered to me. And, I believe that it matters to them. Their small lives.
Because, I know that each life is small. ...even the celebrated ones. But, each life, each and every single life matters! I believe that each one of us was created on purpose inside our mother's womb. You. Me. Every. One.
So, I protest here.
Like Sara Groves sings--- thank you Sara for again singing my soul---- "tell me of the beauty of the beauty... speak to me until I understand... like a rampart for the soul... like a single cup of water... why it matters!"
I want to be known, yes.
But, I also want to speak of the beauty of the beauty. I want to offer you, my friends, my sister, my brother, ...and those I do not know that read here... I offer you this single cup of water:
God is so very, very good. He is powerful and knows all. God is faithful. His love endures forever. He is love. He acts in love. His very nature is love. His justice is love. His justice is right and righteous. He is active and alive. He offers peace. He gives us all we need for joy. He speaks and wants to speak to His people. He is making and continues to make...
May these words be a cup of water for your soul today.
Let us, my friends... add to the beauty and offer a small cup of water to each other!!
