My family and I just spent an hour walking the pier in Huntington Beach and I am exhausted. The tiredness isn't a physical one... but an emotional one. I am spiritually tired from one hour on Main Street. Why? What is it that makes me so exhausted in this setting?
I felt like an alien.
I felt totally out of place and tired after on hour.
Is it the noise? ...Noise for the ears and for the eyes. Is it the barrage of sights? Maybe it is because most of the sights, in fact, bring sadness to my soul as I look on. I am not sure.
I sit here now in my quiet living room and am reminded of something that Beth Moore said in a lesson this week... "We are not a culture very good at moderation". Is this what I was seeing?
It isn't just a person with one tattoo... he has covered his body with them. It isn't just a set of earrings or one piercing...she has covered her body. It isn't just a fit and healthy person,... it is someone who has obviously spent hours upon hours at the gym. Not just one place to buy shoes or shirts or sunglasses... but 20 different shops all with piles of new things to buy. It isn't just a pair of shorts to help with the heat, but shorts so short that we have an unwanted "show" as she walks in front of us. It isn't just a scoop of ice cream, but a mound of ice cream covered with syrups and sprinkles. It isn't just hand holding to show admiration and love, but full-on make out sessions for all to see. This is the barrage of sights that made me exhausted, I think.
What planet am I on? Who are these people and what is life like for them? I feel like an alien here. Truly. I am an alien and stranger. Am I totally alone in this feeling, I wonder. It isn't that I think tattoos, ice cream and shorts are wrong. Truly, I don't. But the excess is noise to my soul and I am tired.
Not that I am very good at moderation either. My excesses are just more easily hidden. I struggle with that "one" thought that I can't stop obsessing on... I struggle to stop at that handful of chips on my plate. Do I really need more? I struggle to enjoy that one handful of candy after dinner and find myself indulging. It is just gluttony. Do I really need one more pair of jeans? Do I really need to spend more time doing this or that... I could stop. Do I really need to plan (again) our schedule for tomorrow. Ahh... I need to learn to say, "that is enough for now".
Balance and Moderation. All to the glory of God. He says eat, drink and whatever you do can be done to His glory. I suppose if I grew in the area of moderation and balance, the sights and sounds of Huntington would be even more overwhelming. I guess when asking God to help me grow in this area, I am asking to become even more strange and alien-like. Am I okay with this?
